Chapter 190: Machala
I kept my emotions together even when he carried me to the bath and held me for over an hour. We didn't speak. There were no words for how fucked up our relationship was. No going back and no tomorrow. After he left, I finally gave into tears, burying my face in my pillow, thinking about the words I couldn't speak-the secret I would never reveal.
I fell asleep after faint pink rays of sunlight shown through the windows and didn't awake until ten in the morning. The pain Luke provided had done the trick and allowed for more hours of uninterrupted sleep than I'd experienced in months. With coffee and toast in front of me, I sat gingerly at the table embracing the discomfort from my ass. I looked outside into the small, enclosed space I called my backyard. I decided to spend the day gardening. Even though my yard was small, I filled it with plants and flowers that needed tending on a regular basis. I hired someone to clean the inside of my townhome, but I liked getting my hands dirty in the rich soil. When I first spent my weekends with Luke, I worked outside during the week sometimes in the dark if I came home from work late. The earth soothed me.
Knowing I couldn't sit and wallow in self-pity the entire day, I cleaned my plate and mug then changed into an old pair of shorts and sleeveless tee. I wore a thong so the denim of my shorts would rub against my ass, prolonging the pain from the evening before. It had been too long since I had the aches and pains from a good play scene.
With a baseball cap shielding my eyes and the sun heating my skin, my thoughts turned to the last day I spent with Luke at his home. I'd replayed the memories over and over, always with the same result. I could never submit completely.
Six months ago...
It was Friday and I knew from the moment he arrived from his late-night practice that something was wrong. After the first particularly sadistic scene, my striped inner thighs, and his continued cold demeanor, I reasoned that I was the problem. I thought he'd be over what happened the previous Monday morning, but I thought wrong. His impersonal behavior floored me.
"Sleep in your own room tonight." He barely glanced at me as he walked away; his banishing me to my room was the real punishment.
I never wanted to sleep in his damn room anyway, but now that he brought me out of my dreams and chased the terror away, I was addicted. And, in the early mornings, I'd grown to love the sound of his relaxed breathing and the peaceful planes of his face before he awoke. The naked lines of his body made my fingers itch to touch. He was beautiful, but while asleep, I noticed the small imperfections. The faded scar just under his chin and his nose that was a tad too large. These made him human-much more the man than the sadist. Maybe because he had such a large presence when awake, these flaws went unnoticed. I hadn't realized how much those stolen moments meant to me until he took them away.
I tossed and turned repeatedly on my lonely bed. With no nightshirt and no Luke, it heightened my sense of nakedness and I felt unwanted. Many scenarios went through my head and I settled on slipping out early in the morning before he woke up. It was better than him telling me we were finished. I barely slept, which was nothing new and it kept the nightmares away.
Kisses traveling from my shoulder to my throat brought me from my haggard sleep. He ran his fingers through my hair, catching the tangles and moving my head so he kissed along my jaw. My pulse skyrocketed immediately and my craving for the touch he'd deprived me all night had me trembling. He pulled away just a bit while turning me so I could see his eyes.
Leisurely, his lips came down on mine. This kiss wasn't punishing like the one on Monday morning. This claimed me. He fucked my mouth with his tongue, giving me this part of him that I yearned for. I didn't realize I was crying until he moved away.
"Shh, sweet girl." He wiped away a few of my tears. "You need to get up and shower. We have company coming."
He must have seen my nervousness. The only clothes I had were the ones for Monday morning.
"Don't worry, it's Wade," he said with a deceptively light smile.
My gut clenched. As the personal assistant to Krispin, the lead singer of Blood Rights, Wade had seen it all and probably done it all when it came to the band. He was two years younger than me with a knockout smile and a killer body. He was a fun D/s play partner and left the heavy sadism to Luke.
The previous time he came over to play, something in his demeanor changed. The look in his eyes was almost sad, but he acted his part. The problem was that he mentally wasn't in the scene. At one point, as Luke used his short whip on the backs of my thighs, Wade came around the St. Andrew's Cross I was secured to and wiped the tears from my face. I couldn't fathom the look he gave me and he hadn't played with us since.
Why was he coming today when Luke and I needed to talk? I couldn't completely open up to Luke, but he needed to know my night terrors weren't as bad with him in my life. Telling him something even that small had anxiety racing throughout my body. I could do it, though. Would do it in order to give us a chance.
I showered quickly and made a small breakfast for both of us. I didn't mind cooking and Luke sometimes joined me. But he didn't this morning. I couldn't place my finger on it; he was still... off. There seemed to be a tightly coiled energy beneath the surface that held him aloft. The earlier kiss didn't help my confusion.
We finished our meal and he helped me straighten the kitchen. No touching, when he usually had wandering, teasing hands in the morning. My anxiety increased.
I went to my room to prepare myself-brushing my teeth and combing my hair. I took a deep breath and straightened my shoulders. I walked to the playroom where Luke had told me to join him.
There was an out-of-place chair in the center of the room. Before I could kneel beside him, Luke directed me to the chair. I sat down and followed him with my eyes as he prepared for a scene. This was something else that was strange. He liked having most things in place before I entered. I watched his slow methodical movements, fascinated by seeing a different side of him while he worked on creating the scene.
The doorbell sounded.
"Stay put, I'll be back shortly," Luke said on his way out of the room.
A few moments later, I heard male voices, but couldn't make out the words. They spoke for a while and though it felt like forever, it was probably closer to ten minutes.
I was surprised when Wade walked in first, completely naked. He looked at his feet, never giving me his normal sexy greeting. Walking straight to the corner, Wade dropped to his knees facing Luke, who followed behind him.
Shit... Wade was in full submissive role. After our threesomes, it never occurred to me that Wade was a switch. But looking now-every line of his body, the tilt of his head, and downward cast of his eyes-Wade submitted to Luke.
Luke ignored him, turning his attention to me. He went behind my chair, lifted my hair away from my neck, and placed a tender kiss on my shoulder. His whisper actually sounded loud in the silent room, "You have one job, girl... observe." He released my hair and walked to Wade.
Luke's fingers went into Wade's dark hair forcing his head back. "Safeword?"
"Red." The word was throaty and filled with longing.
That made Luke smile. "I may gag you. What would you like to use?"
"Give me something to release from my hand." Wade's voice was steady, while my heart rate increased.
"Any questions?"
"No, Luke."
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