Chapter 30

In the days that followed, Brian treated me very well. He waited for me at work and after work, but I always found various excuses to avoid him.
In the end, I simply moved out and moved to the slums where my mother lived.
"Oh, so your conscience kicked in, and you remembered to come back and live with your mother?" My mother saw that I was either at work or helping customers at her lottery booth every day, and she was quite satisfied.
But after a few days, she sensed that something was wrong. "You had a fight with your boyfriend? Weren't you supposed to have Brian come over on the weekend? Why didn't he come?"
"We're not getting married," I said with a heavy heart, feeling unhappy.
"Not getting married? What are you doing then?" My mother was so angry that I thought she was about to hit me.
One moment, she was happily saying how filial I was, and the next, she packed all my belongings and threw them out.
"Mom!" I was locked outside the door.
"Go away, who wants you here, you're annoying," my mother didn't back down at all.
"Where do I go?" I wanted to cry.
"Where else? Go to your boyfriend's place, solve the problem. What's the use of hiding here?"
"I've already said it: I don't want any more marriage. I don't deserve it, I don't want him to pity me!" I sat on the ground by the door, crying with tears streaming down my face.
My mom opened the door and shouted at me, "What are you talking about? I raised you to be well-behaved with a job; you are not inferior to anyone! Whoever dares to look down on you, I will beat them!"
I was stunned for a second.
"You should beat Dad instead." I sat there gloomily.
Her expression instantly turned ugly. After a long while, she struggled to speak, "Did you find him?"
"Yes." I looked up, "I found him, but he thinks I'm a lower."
My mom stood there, frozen. "Damn Rob Bell!" She cursed and walked out wearing her slippers.
I returned to my room in a daze. My mom came back in the middle of the night.
She opened my bedroom door and kicked the chair in front of me, "Stop crying, I will teach him a lesson."
I looked at her in terror, with her messy hair and bruises around her eyes, "Did you go fight with someone?"
"What else?" My mom sat down and continued grumbling, "It's been too long since I last fought, my arms are getting rusty."
"You're insane, how old are you, and you still go fight with people? The doctor said you can't get emotionally excited." My heart clenched together.
"What's there to be afraid of, I won't die." She was nonchalant, comforting me, "If he dares to bully you, I will crawl out of my grave and beat him half to death."
I didn't say anything. I took a deep breath and touched the bruise around her eye, "Does it hurt?"
"Not really." My mom shrugged off my hand.
We sat silently like this. After a long while, my mom finally spoke.
"I have never regretted getting a divorce." She fell silent for a moment, "Although everyone thought I was crazy and advised me not to divorce, they said I shouldn't give up being a wealthy wife and live in poverty instead."
"But he had a serious tendency for violence, when I was pregnant with your sister, he hit me multiple times. He would hit me whenever he wasn't happy or angry, even when he was drunk. I couldn't bear it anymore."
"I thought he would change when we had children, but who knew that a person's character could never change."
"I endured it for two years, until you were born, I couldn't stand it anymore and asked for a divorce."
"As for fighting, your mother has never been afraid of anyone, I can fight with him until one of us dies, I will never back down."
"But, I had a child, your sister was scared and cried in pain, I had to consider her."
"When we divorced, I wanted to take both you and your sister with me, but your father had money and power, and I had no income. The court didn't give me custody of the children, only you, because you were still in your postpartum period, the judge ruled in my favor."
I had never heard her talk about the reason for the divorce before. To be honest, I had always thought it was because of my mom's personality that led to the divorce. I never expected it was because of my dad's domestic violence.
I stared blankly at her, listening to her recounting the tragic past, wishing I could hug her from the past.
"What about Cecilia?" I asked her, "Aren't you worried about her?"
"I'm Worried; how can I not be worried?" my mom said with sarcasm. "I've asked around. She's doing well, her grades are good, and she got into a top high school."
"Vanessa, are you still my daughter?" she asked me. "If you like him, go after him. What are you afraid of? Is that Brian, the one from your diary?"
"Mom! Did you read my diary?" I exclaimed, standing up in shock.
"Who read your diary? I was cleaning and his school badge fell out. I put it back for you."
"What are you like? Your mother knows everything. All the kids in the poor neighborhood are playing, and you're studying. I don't even know what you're doing it for."
"I... " The long-hidden crush being discovered by my own mother was truly a shame to the extreme.
"I've heard about your sister and the child. You can't steal what is meant for you. Think about it yourself."
My mother finished speaking, closed the door, and walked away. She left me alone, standing in the room, lost in thought.
I like Brian. I want to marry him. I've thought about this for a long time. But now, the reason he was with me was because of the child.
Now that the child has gone back to his biological mother, what reason do I have to stay? I'm also very confused.