Chapter 127
I had the urge to curl up into a ball, feeling like a trapped little mouse, but I refuse to succumb to that weaker side of me. If I let myself wallow in self-pity, I'll never crawl out of it.
The next fight is in three days and it's going to be the last fight before the semi-finals. I would be lying if my nerves weren't putting me on edge. I was so close. I need to get through to the finals and win this. I cannot let others suffer the damage I brought onto my own life. I will win this.
I woke up hours later only to crave some ice cream. I quickly got up and checked my fridge only to see that my stock of frozen sweets had ran out. I didn't waste much time on getting ready and headed out to restock my fridge with ice creams.
I drove to the nearest convenient store, which was 15 minutes away, where I know I'll find myself some Ben & Jerry's. Come to mama, boys.
I pushed the glass door open and walked the aisle to get to the back of the store where the fridges were lined up. I was in the process of scanning through the contents of the fridges, trying to find the section where my favorite buckets were, when I heard the squeals of children behind me. I slightly turned around to take a glimpse at the kids and was about to go back to minding my own business when I recognized them. They were the kids that hung around Cole.
I immediately froze and surveyed the store to look out for their brother. Lucky for me, I didn't see him anywhere. I sighed a small breath of relief before contemplating on whether or not I should approach the children.
I wanted to know more about my opponent's weakness. I was normally not one to blackmail someone for my own personal gains; especially now that I have an experience of being in the receiving end of said blackmail; but my family and all the people that I love were counting on me. Any valuable information I could get on Cole could be crucial.
I eyed the kids. The girl, I suspect is the most approachable one, with her doe like eyes and innocent expression. But she didn't look like she'd know much about Cole since she looked 4, the age when where everything revolves around her own personal bubble.
The oldest looking boy looked wary of everything around him. That showed that he knew something about what his brother was doing. There's no other reason for a kid his age to look so wary.
The children were accompanied by a woman whose age was shown in the lines on the edges of her eyes and lips. She was smiling at the little girl while the other two boys looked around for the different kinds of sweets. Before I could continue to make a plan on how to approach the family, the younger boy noticed me looking. At the sight of me his eyes grew wide. My heart thudded in my chest, afraid that he'd know my intentions of subtly interrogating them and alerting his family of my presence.
It was impossible for him to know about my intentions unless he was psychic but that didn't stop my mind from assuming that he did.
All my worries vanished when his face broke into a huge grin and he ran towards me. I probably looked alarmed but I didn't think it fazed him because he barreled straight into me, barely able to stop himself before he crashed into me. I held the little guy steady. His grin looked permanent on his face.
"I remember you! You're that girl from the park!" He greeted me. I was confused for a moment before I remembered gave my wallet back to me at the pack. I gave him a smile of my own as I nodded.
"I remember you too. You helped return my belonging to me before I could lose it. Thank you for that." I thanked him, messing his hair up a little. The little guy started blushing before giving me a toothy grin. Such a cute kid.
"Alex? What are you doing there? Stop bothering the young lady and come choose your treat or you're not getting any." The woman called out before giving me a soft smile.
"I'm sorry about that," the woman addressed me as Alex ran back to the other children who were picking out their treats.
"Don't worry about it," I gave the woman a smile. I decided to test my luck. As I prayed that I didn't cause any suspicion to grow in the woman, I asked her a question.
"Are they your grandchildren?" I asked her. She gave me a small chuckle while shaking her head to answer my question.
"They're my children." My lips popped open slightly in shock before I recovered. The woman laughed even more at my reaction.
"I get that a lot. Truth is, I used to be their foster mom before I decided I couldn't let them go back to the system. So, I adopted them." She told me. I tried to process this as quickly as I could, trying to connect the dots as best as I could. Before I could ask any more questions, she beat me to it. Her expression growing solemn as she watched the children run around the store, playing with each other.
"It probably wasn't a good idea to adopt all three children when your barely have any financial stability wasn't at its best but I don't regret it you know? They're my angels and I don't love them any less than I do my own sons." She sighed. The adoration she had for the children was painfully obvious. After what she said, things were starting to become clearer. This woman may be Cole's mother and these children are his brothers and sister.
The woman definitely looked old enough to be Cole's mother but her kind eyes made the guilt in me grow. I had no doubt that someone with a mother like her would grow into a gentle person. The amount of love that shines in her eyes for the children that weren't even biologically hers hinted me on how much she must love her own flesh and blood. There was no doubt in my heart that Cole's actions were a result of what I did and.
I could feel myself getting choked up, the guilt of what I have done to Cole hit me in waves. I couldn't hide my glassy eyes from the woman standing in front of me but I tried my best to wave off her concern.
"Seeing how much love you have for these children is touching is all." I told her, only giving the half-truth.
I quickly took my leave, ice cream long forgotten as I rushed to my car. I opened the car door and slipped into the driver's seat, I stared at the steering wheel for the longest time, trying to not break down.
But not a moment later I felt tears start to slip out of my eyes and I could practically hear my heart breaking. My hands turned into fists and I started hitting my head violently. The dull throb failed to soothe the guilt that was exploding in me. I gave up after a while and dug the heel of my palm into my lidded eyes and stayed that way. I wept and wept, not knowing what to do with myself anymore.
Dear God, what have I done? Am I even worthy enough to be forgiven after all the damage that I have done?
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