Chapter 136
I passed Jerry on the way out of the living room and immediately ran to him, seeking for a much needed hug. His face broke into a concerned one and he wrapped his arms around my trembling body.
I haven't seen him since I got here but I was relieved that he was there when I was about to have a melt-down. He had been a father figure to me and I probably needed that the most right now.
"Oh Case, I'm so sorry." Jerry whispered in a broken voice that mirrored how I felt. I simply shook my head as I kept my face pressed to his chest. The pain was too much and I felt like I was going to burst. I felt myself being pulled to the direction of the kitchen and he sat me down on one of the stools under the kitchen counter.
"Tell me what's wrong," Jerry coaxed, sitting down on the stool next to mine. He raised his arm to hug me sideways and I leaned on him, not knowing where to start.
"You told me, when I made that choice to not tell Adam who I really was, that he deserved the right to know. But you also told me that you wouldn't interfere because it was my choice to make," I began, sniffling as I spoke softly.
"I didn't regret my choice of drawing this distance between us because I honestly do think that I'm bringing all sorts of danger to his life by being with him. The accident proved it." Fresh tears sprung into my eyes when Jerry tried to defend me after I voiced the guilt I was still feeling.
"That was not your fault, Case. It was an accident and you didn't have any control over it." I could tell that Jerry was really trying to convince me because his voice turned steely on the edges but I still shook my head stubbornly. I decided that I couldn't explain myself properly to him unless I told him everything about the messed up situation I was in right now.
"Jer, the truth is that I've been street fighting for years now. When Adam told me about Carla and how you were struggling with the bills, I joined a competition to win some money and help you guys secretly with the hospital bills. I didn't realize it then. It was all about saving Carla at first, but I now realize that I made a mistake in being that reckless. I underestimated how dangerous it was to participate in a competition where ruthless people partake in." I kept my head down as I tried to tell him my story in a concise manner. I was ashamed of what I've done to disrupt the peace and quiet of his family.
"I attempted to quit when Carla passed away but there was that man who came during her funeral. Apparently, I injured his brother in a fight and he demanded that I continue fighting in the competition or he'll hurt the people I love. I was terrified but Adam was sure he was bluffing so I tried to have some faith. But the next thing I knew, Adam got hit by that car." I wiped my damp cheeks. I was scared of what I would see if I raised my head to meet Jerry's eyes. I was scared of the resentment I might see.
When I heard no response from him, I continued talking and avoided eye contact with him.
"That night I chose to keep my distance with your family as much as possible while still being there for you guys to keep the promise I made to Carla. I thought that maybe by keeping my distance, the next set of people whose feathers I accidentally ruffle won't target your family. I don't have anyone to blame but myself for my thoughtless decisions. But I didn't regret not telling Adam who I really was to him."
I finally looked up, searching his eyes for any hatred or disgust directed at me. Thankfully, I found none. Nothing but sadness and concern were there. "Does it make me a bad person for not regretting keeping things from Adam while still crying about the consequences of that action?" I asked him, still searching his face. I knew that he probably knew about Kiara. The Jones' boys weren't exactly shy about their love lives.
I remembered the day that I met Jerry and Carla. It didn't take long for him to introduce me to his parents and I believe that was the case for Kiara too.
Jerry shook his head, gathering the mess before him in his arms. I continued weeping over my broken heart in his fatherly embrace.
"I'm sorry, Case. The day he went home with Kiara trailing after him, I dreaded the day that you found out about them. I knew it would break you though you have always acted strong. You had this hard exterior of a fighter even when you tried to play the part of a goodie two shoes. It breaks me seeing you like this; it really does." His voice was bleeding the pain it harbored and I could barely hear him whisper, "Adam, what have you done."
I wept harder from how kind this man has been to me even after knowing the full story of the disaster I have brought upon his family.
"What do I do now, Jer?" I was so lost and I felt like I was grasping blindly in the dark for a sense of direction; for any sense of direction. For once, I felt like a little girl who was alone in a dark world.
"The cops?" Jerry asked. I quickly shook my head no and he nodded in understanding.
"As much as I don't like the idea of you putting your life on the line continuously like this, I hate to admit it but you just have to pull through this fight and win. You have to play the offence in this life, if you settle with simply putting up a defense, you're basically preparing to die. As for Adam, I'm sure everything will work out in the end. I know this isn't something that you'd like to hear but at the end of the day, there's always going to be a greater plan set for all of us and it's all for the best. Whatever happens for Adam and you, it would be for the best. Whatever happens between the both of you, you are always welcome here. You'll always be like a daughter to me." Jerry's words touched me. He reminded me to have faith and trust whatever plan that has been laid out for me.
I'm not in this alone and I never have been. I've had Preston even when I didn't have Adam. I had Jerry who was silently supporting me even though I could tell he disapproved of my decisions and actions. I have never been alone all this time. Even when I was crying alone in my car or in my room, I knew that God has been watching over me and that I was safe. I just needed to trust in that greater force because at the end of the day, I was only human.
After spilling my guts out to Jerry, he told me to stay the night and take the guest bedroom. My parents were coming home the next day so I told him that I might leave early the next morning to make sure I wasn't late in picking them up from the airport.
Jerry gave me another tight hug before bidding me good night and retiring to his own room. I took the guest bedroom I stayed in during the few nights that I got to stay over. I didn't bring any change of clothes since I wasn't planning to stay the night. I'd usually go and borrow something from Adam but since that wasn't an option anymore, I opted to fell asleep in the current clothes I was in.
