Chapter 174
After I've got a grip on myself, Adam suggested that we continue our night walk and head to the town square since the weather was perfect.
Adam had his arm slung across my shoulders as we neared town square. The place was buzzing with life and chatter, filled with some music and distant car horns if you listen carefully.
When we got to the center of the place, the huge billboards towered over us and one billboard caught my eye.
My hand unconsciously flew to my mouth when I saw the big screen. My face along with little Ollie's, Cole's 3 step-siblings and the other kids were on it. It was a candid picture of us and we all had an ear to ear grin plastered on our faces.
The billboard was promoting the fundraising campaign that I held every 3 months. I had seen similar pictures in magazines and newspapers, but this was huge.
I felt Adam squeeze my shoulder lightly and pulled me closer to him as tears filled my eyes once again. I continued to stare at the billboard as my mind rewound the memory I had of Bryant.
~ Flashback ~
I was sitting on the couch, telling Bryant how Dom confessed that he likes me more than just a friend.
"I don't even know why he would like me in that way. I'm not special; I'm just plain Casey. I'm not as beautiful as those other girls in school and I don't have the charm, so why me?" I muttered to myself, feeling a bit dumbfounded.
In a flash, Bryant was kneeling before me, giving me a stern look.
"Hey, what did I tell you about beauty and people?"
I looked away after catching a glimpse of how serious he looked, knowing that he hated it when I start hating on myself.
"Beauty lies on the inside," I recited, having heard him say it a thousand times before.
"-where the heart is," he finished, smiling softly and placing two fingers right above where my heart was.
"But do I really have that too? I mean, seriously. I have murderous and such vengeful thoughts towards those girls at school. Do I even have a pure heart?" I asked him, voicing my deepest fear.
Maybe I wasn't as innocent as Bryant thought, maybe I was a closet psychopath.
My vision started to get blurry as I questioned my own innocence.
"That only proves that you are human because that's just how we are. We all have our demons but it's our choice to listen to them or fight them. And you, little sis, are the strongest fighter and the most beautiful girl I have ever met," Bryant stated. The sincerity in his voice was as clear as day.
"You go through every day with a smile on your face even when life's beating you down and that smile reflects the beauty inside. You have the knack to help people even if they're potential
criminals on the run," Bryant frowned towards the end of his sentence and I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous he's being.
"I don't know if your heart is as pure as it can be, Case, but all I know is that you've got a big one in there. When we're older, I'll be running around the streets like a madman pointing at billboards with your face on them, screaming ‘that's my sister' proudly at by-passers."
I teared up at the memory, feeling the tears stream down my cheeks as I held in a sob. My only regret was not being able to achieve this sooner. I knew I was incredible lucky and blessed to be able to get this far in life, to have achieved so much and have the ability to give back to society, but I still felt a familiar knot forming in my stomach when I realized that I was late.
I knew it was a bit unrealistic to hold it against my past self but I still couldn't help but wished I had been able to achieve this dream sooner so that my brother could've been there to share this moment with me then.
But as I was having these thoughts, I felt something touch me deeply and I looked up at the sky, wondering if what they said about the stars being the souls of people who had passed away is true.
Was that Bryant I felt?
Was he telling me that he was here with me? That he isn't missing this moment?
I couldn't recall whatever religious teaching I have been raised to believe in but at that moment, everything went out the window. I just knew that right then and there, believing that my brother was there with me, in spirit, brought me a tremendous amount of comfort that I wouldn't ever trade for anything else.
It was as if he was saying, "Don't worry, little sis. I'm seeing this too. Nothing you did was too late. Everything happens in their own time and that time is the perfect time. You did great."
I was well aware that all this might have been an illusion that was conjured up by my own conscience to soothe the regret and guilt I was feeling but just the thought that Bryant might actually be seeing all this, be present to witness all this, in whatever form, was enough to bring tears to my eyes.
The knot in my stomach unfurled and I felt a wave of serenity.
He had always believed in me. He had never doubted that I was going to be someone great and do good in this world.
I stared at the stars despite my doubts, not knowing where else to look.
"I did it, Bry," I whispered into the air. The noise around me faded as I leaned into Adam's chest and stared at the billboard. I felt content as tears continued to escape my eyes. I made no move to wipe them and let myself feel loved for once.
I hope you're watching from up there. I hope you're proud of me.
