Chapter 200

I tilted my head up with my eyes closed, trying to just absorb the fresh air and let it cool my insides and help me relax.
I opened my eyes and watched as the wind shook the branches of the tree we were sitting under. Fall was already here and winter was just right around the corner, approaching fast. The branches were already balding, giving it a bare look, making the tree seem almost naked without its green. The leaves that managed to stay on the branches had already turned colors, pulling different shades of orange, yellow and sometimes even a beautiful bright red. The sight made by the tree branches reaching out and creating a web right above us, mapping across the space between us and the sky, was entrancing, at least to me. I could never get enough of it.
The sun was nowhere to be seen today, hidden behind some clouds. The air around us was a bit chilly but it was still a nice day out. I just hope that Maddy thought so too.
She was laying beside me, her head resting on my lap and her body resting on one side of me as the flowers I got her and what was left of the food I bought for our picnic date sat on the other side.
I barely managed to get her flowers and all the restaurants I could think of bringing Maddy to were fully booked for today. It looked like I was the only dumbshit that forgot what day it is today. I was lucky enough that Casey found this picnic date idea on the internet while reading someone's blog yesterday.
So far, Maddy seems to be enjoying it too. I should be in the clear.
After a moment of silence where we just enjoyed each other's company, eyes closed as we enjoyed just being out in the park and breathing in the cold autumn air, Maddy slowly sat up and turned to face me, laying her hand on my knee.
"Is Casey alright? I've been meaning to ask but it had completely slipped my mind."
"Yeah, why?" I asked, confused, looking at Maddy's face that was etched with concern.
"Some of the girls told me what happened at one of their houses the other day. Apparently Casey was there and Sonia was there too." Maddy didn't need to say any more. I immediately knew which house and what day she was referring to. The second that she mentioned Sonia, I also knew that whatever happened must've been ugly.
I knew what Sonia has been doing to Casey. I knew how they shunned her of any clique or clubs in school. Casey might have told me that she only had a few friends by choice because she suspected that most people approach her and try to be friends with her to be closer to me, but I knew that she had started losing friends around the time that Sonia found out she was my sister. Friends that she made on her first day as a freshman and friends that she knew from middle school started leaving her because they were told that sticking around Casey was social suicide.
I saw the toll it took on Casey and how beat up she was about it but I could never do anything about it. I couldn't exactly force people to befriend my sister no matter how much I wanted to and I couldn't intimidate Sonia into backing off either. There wasn't much I could do.
I remembered the first time she started going into my room for two nights in a row just a few days at the start of freshman year, right after her closest friend, I think it was Chloe or whatever her name was, left Casey's side because Sonia had ridiculed her for being friends with Casey.
It was stupid and I couldn't even be bothered to remember the girl's name. She didn't deserve Casey as a friend; she wasn't even there to stand by Casey's side to defend her; instead she left Casey to fend for herself.
I felt my chest burn with hatred. Hate was a strong word, I was well aware of that. But Sonia - I never thought I'd say this about someone but she honestly deserved all the hate I was feeling towards her.
She had been acting up and started harassing Casey, done all this, ever since I rejected her and got together with Maddison instead; a jealousy that my sister did nothing to be on the receiving end of.
Casey knew nothing of this and yet she was facing Sonia's wrath.
If only that bitch wasn't a 'she', she would've been long gone with nothing to flaunt.
Obviously, I told Maddison about it once. I didn't want to keep any secrets from Maddy. She was my best friend and girlfriend, she deserves to know everything that's happening in my life (of course, as long as it's safe for her to know - which crosses out the part of my life as part of the Mafia and the loan sharks that had chased me a year ago).
I even asked Maddison to help me get Sonia to back off from Casey's hind. But did that stop the she-devil? Of course not.
It all made sense now - why Casey was so adamant on going to that party.
My sister was getting targeted and picked on because of me. How many people do I need to protect my sister from? I felt like she's being attacked from all flanks and I can't protect her from all of it completely.
I was so busy trying to protect her from the Mafia and suddenly, someone else pops up, attacking her emotionally and mentally, just trying to make my little sister's life harder for their entertainment. What are these kids being taught nowadays to make them so bloody twisted?
What makes them think that it's okay to bring someone down to make them feel better about themselves? Who in their right mind advocated and justified this method of dealing with one's problems?
I couldn't control my facial expressions and I found myself not wanting to. I was tired of putting up a front. I've been doing enough of that while I'm around the Mafia. Maddy was my safe haven. So, I let the pain I felt inside flood me and bubble to the surface as Maddy kept her worried eyes on me, watching my face fall and twist.
"Oh Bry.." Maddy whispered, gathering me in her arms.
I rested my head on her shoulder as she held me.
I felt like a failure - unable to protect my sister from the hate in the world that I swore I would protect her from when we were only kids.
I understood why she kept the details of what happened from me but it still grated my heart thinking what else she might be going through and had chosen to bottle up for her to deal with on her own. I know that it can't be my responsibility to make sure that she's always emotionally safe as much as she is physically because we'll have to go our own ways and live our own lives once we grow up and have our own families but it didn't stop me from feeling like I've failed her somehow.
It hurt to think that she'll be going to that party and be scrutinized by the same girls that made her feel obliged to go, that made her feel like she needed to be tested for her worth.
But I knew that I needed to start letting her fight her own battles. My little sister wasn't so little anymore. I needed to respect her decision in not involving me in this one.
"I'm sure Casey is alright. She's a strong girl, Bry. She's smart. I'm sure she knows not to let them get to her." Maddy spoke reassuringly as she leaned her head on mine. I found the weight of it comforting, almost grounding, keeping me from floating somewhere far away from all this mess.
I'm sure everything Maddison said was right. I knew that Casey would be alright too. I knew Casey could handle it. She didn't tell me a word about what happened in her friend's house that day - probably because she was too upset to relay the entire event to me - but that also meant that she was determined to deal with it on her own.
The thing was, no matter how much she tries to convince herself she can handle it herself, I was still going to worry because I know how my sister is. She's got a soft heart. She tries to be tough and she knows who to listen and who not to listen to but I know she can't help but let it get to her sometimes.
She'll probably stay up late at night thinking about it, unconsciously getting her confidence chipped bit by bit as she rewinds everything that those girls said to her. She'll get worked up and tell herself, convince herself, to steel herself and prove them wrong but unconsciously, her self-esteem was getting eaten away the more that she thinks about it. And she's not one who can control her thoughts when these things happen to her.
Maddy took hold of my shoulders and pulled back to look me in the eye. She held my gaze and let me have a look at how serious she was. "It's alright, I know what you're thinking. If things take a turn for the worst, I've got her."
I nodded, grateful that I had her by my side to help me. She might not be aware of it but she was lifting a huge weight on my shoulders. I was overwhelmed trying to keep Casey physically safe from the dangers I was facing every week. I didn't know how I was going to be able to manage dealing with this emotional distress these girls are inflicting on my sister.
At least with Maddy around, I had some room to breathe, to catch my breath for the final sprint I have to do to keep the people I love safe from the Mafia.
I looked at Maddy, giving her a smile. I leaned forward and let my lips rest on the crown of her head, not knowing how else to express how blessed I felt to have her around.
I know I can count on her to look out for my sister. That's why I'm head over heels for this girl.
It was the only reason I was able to smile through the pain I was feeling inside at that moment.
I just have to swallow this hard pill and watch from afar, and if Casey ends up falling, I'll just be there to help her get to her feet again.
I know my sister's a fighter, I've just never given her the opportunity to fight her own battles so far.
I know that she doesn't need me to stay alert 24/7 in case she drowns again. She's grown into quite the swimmer. I trust that she's more than capable of swimming on her own now and I believe it's time that I let her swim on her own.