Hues Of Feelings

**ISLA**
Zero has been driving for more than thirty minutes. We left the building at 6:50 P.M. I glanced at the wall clock in my living room and now, it was already 7:20 P.M. I was tempted to ask but I’m afraid of the deafening silence between us. It seems like Zero needs some quiet time at this moment.
I badly wanted to lean on the window and just watch the enormous street lights but I’m afraid I might turn the spark off and will break my posture. I just then leaned the back of my head at the headrest of my seat and sighed. Which I thought will not catch Zero’s attention, but it did.
“You’re bored?’ that’s the first thing that came out and broke his silence since we stopped talking a few minutes ago.
“Not really,” I replied and realizes that it will be brought to something which he might misunderstand. I saw how the side of his lips rose and formed a smirk.
“Would you mind if I pull over and let’s have some me-time?” he asked which makes me gasp my eyes grew bigger and looked at him, brows furrowing.
The small lump in my neck moved as I gulped. “W-What?” I stuttered.
Zero glanced into my side which arouse a little thump in my heart. “Hey, you’re driving,” I stated which only makes him smirk.
“I can drive even if I close my eyes for an hour,” he uttered, a little bit conceited. I don’t know if he’s showing off, or if he really can do that. I will not know not unless I see it. But I’m afraid we’ll get hit by a truck or a car—oh, me and my stupid imagination again.
“What’s bothering you?” he asked me again.
I heaved a deep sigh and looked past through the window. “Where are we going?” there, I finally asked what was bothering me.
Zero let out a soft chuckle. “Impatient, are we?” he glanced at me. “You don’t want surprises?”
I bit my lower lip and looked at him. “It’s not that—”
“How about I pull over and let’s have—”
“Zero?” I glared at him which makes him laugh handsomely—more so, seductively.
“Kidding. I just want you to enjoy this night. Inside my car, passing through the streets and mesmerized by the glimmering lights,” he asserted which makes my heart hyperventilate. It was just a short description of the surroundings but…
“And savor the moment with you…” he glanced at me, “sitting next to me,” he added.
It was at that moment that my chest tightened, my heart stop beating, my world stopped spinning… and thought to myself: ‘damn, I am whipped—I think I’m falling… too deep.’
It seems like I was dead for one moment and brought to life afterward.
I faked a cough to clear my throat, arched my brow, and glanced at the window, trying not to flash a smile or a smirk.
“You got a feeling of romantic excitement into it, don’t you?” he asked which makes me turn in his direction.
“What are you saying?”
“Alright, I’ll just pretend that it was just nothing to you,” he uttered which makes me frown in confusion. However, I know, deep inside me, what he wants to point out. It’s just me, who’s in denial.
“Apollo will not check on you, tonight, right?” he asked.
“Oh, that?” I shook my head. “I don’t know,” I replied and pressed my lips.
“What if he will—”
“Seriously?” I met his eyes as he glanced at me, “are we really talking about it?”
“Aren’t we?” he teased.
Great! I didn’t know that Zero has this side. Then suddenly, a thought came into my mind. “Are you really Zero?” I asked and waited for his facial reaction.
His brows furrowed and he gazed at me in a tint. “I am,” he replied.
I pressed my lips to hold my smile.
“Why? You’re thinking of someone—”
“Yeah. I thought you were not the Zero that people used to know. The Zero that we’ve known doesn’t know how to smile—he can smile but more of an evil smirk. The Zero I’m with now is different…” I paused and didn’t continue my explanation because I just realizes that I really know too much about him and he might misunderstand that I’m really into him which is… TRUE.
Damn it, I cursed inside my head.
“I know that you have a crush on me—”
“Excuse me?” I turned to him.
He smirked. “Don’t you deny it? And I’m warning you…” he looked at me, “don’t fall in love with a monster like me,” he added and maneuver the steering wheel to the side as we enter a sandy beach.
I didn’t reply for a moment and just looked outside, unbuckling my seatbelt when the car stopped. “Why would I fall to a monster? No-string-attached is the best thing we only have,” I replied before I pushes the door and stepped out of his car. I don’t care if he will misinterpret what I’ve just said.
However, I knew that his warning is too late—I know he warned me from the beginning but my brain can’t stop my heart not to beat for him.
Too late, Zero… I’m already falling. And I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and so on.
I know this feeling may grow more than I thought and all I need to do is to ready myself not to get hurt—can I?
What if… one day, I got the urge to confess—I shook my head. Damn, it. Stop overthinking, self, I thought.
“Anything wrong?” His breath lingers into my ears as he whispered those words and equaled my pace.
I shook my head. “It’s nothing,” I answered and looked at him, lifting my head to meet his alluring eyes.
His forehead creased. “Seems like something is bothering you,” he told me.
I fake a laugh and encircled my arm into his, which I was about to withdraw when he slide his hand into mine, intertwining our fingers.
Surprised, I stared at our hands before looking into his eyes. “I don’t want other men, looking at you,” he replied and we continue to walk until a waiter approaches us.
I don’t know what to feel at that moment, embarrassed? Thrilled? Lucky? Or not? These are just Zero friendly gestures, right?
But why does my heart thump like this when I can overhear it?
“I have a reservation.” My sense came back when Zero spoke.
CAN SOMEONE, who’s bound with a no-string-attached, will treat you to candlelight dinner, acoustic music lingering the atmosphere with the harmonious wave of the violins being played on?
If yes… then should I call myself: lucky? Or should I say, I am just a dreamer? Is this just a dream? Because I am here, sitting in a chair, food served in front of us and a glass of champagne on my side. Zero’s eyes met mine and I can finally see an emotion. It’s glee.
“Did you like it?”
I was caught off guard at first and gasped. “W-What?”
Zero flashed a smile—not a devilish one but a genuine one. “This.” He roamed his eyes around and they stopped in mine.
I don’t know what to say. I can’t find the right words. I’m afraid that I may say something unseemly. However, Zero’s facial expression urges that he’s waiting for my answer.
I smiled, faintly. “I don’t know what to say. Is this ours or the restaurant has a special occasion tonight?”
Zero laughed softly as if it was a kind of music that blends with the harmony of the violin. “No, it’s not. I thought a lady like you should be treated in this way… I didn’t give any gift on that special day—you knew I don’t know any sweet—”
“God, Zero, it’s fine,” I let out a laugh. “I’m not wishing for it—”
“Let’s just enjoy the night, okay? I hope you like this,” he said.
I nodded, shyly. Okay, I may look pathetic now but damn, all I ever wanted for now is to scream out loud and let the world know that I am happy!
Zero started to cut the beef in his plate when I speak, “t-thank you,” I muttered.
Zero stopped and looked at me. “The least I can do,” he replied which make me frown. I don’t want to overthink—however, I can’t help but ask myself if Zero already—well, at least had a tiny drop of feeling towards me.
Oh, come on, Isla, it was just a gift for that day, my inner self echoed inside my head.
Not to ruin the great ambiance, I started to eat the food that I put on my plate and we did eat silently—not totally, as the band keeps on playing different acoustics love songs—yeah, love songs, which got me hooked, especially that *I’ll Be* by Edwin McCain—giving me vibes of that Cinderella Story that I’ve watched. It’s just that, here, the prince knew my face while in that movie, the prince doesn’t know who was the masked girl in a wedding dress.
I laughed and paused as I looked at Zero. “Sorry,” I muttered.
Zero just nodded.
That candlelight dinner lasted for an hour when I was surprised once again, eyes widened, when Zero walked and stood beside me, and asked for a dance.
Okay, fine, what was this? Am I dreaming? Am I JUST dreaming? I badly wanted to cry. Why it has to be like this? Zero warned me not to fall for him but why he has to do this?
I don’t want to exaggerate things because other couples also were dancing at the center of this sort of VIP part of the restaurant. But why do we need to have a dance?
“Come on, let us savor the moment. This is a gift—” I put my hand into his palm and gently grasped it.
He flashed a smile at me as we walked into the center. I put my arms around his nape and he put his hands on my waist. After a few moments, I found myself swaying as he leads me. I don’t want to lift my face as I am afraid to meet his eyes. I don’t want him to read the emotion that lingers in mine. I don’t want either to have false hope if I see what’s in those perfect pair of eyes.
“How was the food?” Zero asked, and I knew he just want to break the silence between us.
“It’s appetizing,” I replied, my eyes landed on the musicians on our left.
Suddenly, Zero’s hand moved into my jaw and lifted my face—making me, meet his eyes.
“I’m glad,” he answers.
After that, silence lingers between us again, and the music changes as we enter the last part earlier, now, the *You’re The Reason* acoustic version was played.
Suddenly, Zero’s right hand reached for my left while his other hand is on my waist. His left went up for a while and let me lean into his chest. “Let us stay like this,” he whispered.
Now, we’re dancing, grasping hands while he let me hear the beating of his heart.