Chapter 23: B

He just sat there, motionlessly. He didn t think he would feel what he felt upon seeing her after two weeks. She seemed to have grown up in those weeks, she had changed a bit and he knew it might be related to having Bilkisu around her. Na im waited for a few minutes even after she had left the kitchen to recollect himself before he stood up and went out as well. He hated it whenever he felt guilty, and right now, he felt guilty for not checking up on her, not even once.
Na im was surprised when he found her seated in the living room even though he could tell from where he stood that she was terrified and when she saw him walked into the living room he saw it from her eyes, yet again, what Nafisa had told him she did that day. She seemed to relax a bit and finally was able to focus on what Hafiz was saying to her. "Over here, Captain!" Hafiz waved at him and Na im knew he just had to be patient until he got everything he wanted out of him and from then, he would be able to do whatever he wanted to him. And Na im felt like keeping him in the guardroom for a week just that he knew he might need him.
He walked over to them and sat on another sofa, acting as though he didn t know they were there. "I was just asking her why she was crying and it seems like she doesn t want to speak." He ignored him, knowing so well what Hafiz was trying to play at.
"It s him, right?" He asked her while he pointed at Na im and Maryam had just nodded her head when he looked at her, wanting to know what her answer would be-when their eyes met and she quickly turned away from him. She had made it mandatory upon herself never to let him see her eyes again. "I knew it!" Hafiz exclaimed and that took Na im s gaze from her face. He listened, even though he had his phone with him and acted as if he didn't know what was going on around him, as he heard Hafiz asked her questions that he only got a nod or a head shake as a reply before she got tired of hearing his blabbers and she silently left to her room.
Na im was about to speak to him when they heard her scream and stood up at once. "I ll go and check to see what s wrong with her. And you better get ready to be killed, Lieutenant."
"Yes, Captain. I'll make sure my will is written in the next hour I'll come back to get you." Hafiz was already by the door when he said that and Na im didn t know where he should head to. Aim for the door before Hafiz left him in this house or go to check up on her? But the latter won even before he was done deciding.
He rushed to her room and the door was even slightly ajar when he got in. She was kneeling in front of her bed as she cried silently even though he doubted if she was crying for what had just happened to her. She was just taking every excuse she could to cry whatever it was that was bothering her out of her chest.
He closed the door behind him before he silently walked towards her and crouched down to her level. Maryam took in a deep breath when their knees touched and she shifted a little before she sat down on the carpet and he didn t know how he followed suite. Her eyes were still fixed on her toe even though he saw no blood on it but maybe she had it hit by the bed frame.
"Did you hurt yourself?" He asked, reminding himself of all that Dr Nafisa had told him. Even the last time she came, she called and told him the situation at hand. He knew that she was just using Maryam as an excuse to always speak to him, but he didn t care. It was good knowing that she was slowly opening up to her and to Bilkisu as well.
She shook her head, remembering his gun to her head as he told her his rules clearly. "I m fine," she muttered amidst the emotions that we're trying to choke her.
Na im sat even more comfortably on the carpet and he was aware that his movement made their knees to brush even more and she slightly gasped. "Then why are you crying? You ve been crying since I saw you today. Did something happen?" He silently wished his voice was soft enough to make her trust him to her emotions, that she hadn t forgotten how she used to be at ease whenever he used to be this comforting.
"Nothing." She said but when she tried to stand up, she was pulled back on the carpet by the pain she felt on her toe.
"But you just told Hafiz that I was the reason you re crying, what did I do?" He asked again when he saw her settled back on the carpet, facing him.
Maryam thought for a moment, so he had heard their conversation? She thought he was so busy with his phone to even bother about what they were saying. But this time, she stayed mute and from her expression, Na im knew he wasn t going to get an answer from her. He stared at her a minute longer before he sighed.
"Well, I thought you had something to say, that s why I even followed you to your room. Maybe I did something that you need an apology from me, but since it looks like everything is okay, I'd take my leave." She was silent when he stood up, silent when he took five steps closer to the door, silent when he turned the doorknob and he was sure the sound had got to her ears and Na im was about to walk out of the room when she broke into tears.
"I want to go home." She blurted, her words coming in hiccups as she cried.
Na im closed the door he had just opened before he walked back into the room. He retained his spot on the carpet opposite her and watched the way she was crying so hard, as agony dripped along with each of her tears. "Which home?" He silently asked.
She looked up at him, this time not bothering if she had scared him again with her eyes, she didn't care as long as he would take her home. She knew she wouldn t find Baaba or Intisar there, but living there would be more comforting than here. "My home, our village; Magumeri."
Na im sighed and with his eyes fixed on hers, he tried to take her hands in his and was surprised when she gasped slightly but didn't try to take her hands away from him. He held them softly before he spoke, "There s no one left in your village, and even if there was, you have no family left, or do you?" She shook her head before he continued, "Do you not like living here? Is it Bilkisu that does something you don t like? I can punish her if that s the case." She shook her head again and Na im wondered if it was indeed him. "Then what s wrong, is it me?" He asked and she was reluctant before she nodded her head and her tears intensified.
"Just take me home, I'll live in our house." The way she was crying as she said the words broke his heart and he wondered the hell she was going through in her mind. Nafisa had told him about her hallucinations and could only imagine how terrifying that would be.
"Don t fret," he said softly and she felt his hands on her body as he lifted her up and placed her on his laps. Maryam gasped, but there was a strong hold of his hand around her body that even if she wanted to, she can t slid down. "So, you want to go home?" He asked and that seemed to take her mind off the fact that she was now sitting on his laps.
She nodded her head and wiped at her tears but more rushed down to her cheeks. She ducked her head down as she cried even harder. Even though she knew going back home was nearly impossible, but she still wanted to do that. To get away from him since that seemed to be what he wanted. "Mairam," he called out, and not just her that was struck with a lightening of how her name sounded on his lips or the fact that he had known her name all this while but only referred to her as 'Look here or 'Hey was transmogrifying-he too was surprised at the name that slipped out of his tongue for the first time.
Nevertheless, Maryam looked up and their eyes met. "Who am I to you?" He asked and she just sat there, staring at his face with her mouth not being able to say a word. He repeated his question again before Maryam grasped what he meant and decided to answer him with the fact.
"You re my husband." It was wonders how she still hadn t forgotten about that, but it seemed to be just what Na im wanted to hear.
"And what did your father told you about me that day? You still remember, right?" She slowly nodded her head and he watched the words battling before they came out.
"Baaba said that you re my husband and you ll take care of me. That I'm safe with you and should trust you."
"Then, do you think I'll ever hurt you?" Even though the image of his gun pointed to her head had flashed through her mind, Maryam shook her head. Because for a reason unknown to her, she knew he might never actually hurt her.
She was still crying, but she seemed calm for a moment. "You re my wife, Mairam. Like he said, you re safe with me and I'll take care of you. But I can t take you back home, okay?" She nodded her head as the hard reality hit her and she nearly collapsed with her tears.
Na im slowly pulled her to his body, he hugged her to his chest and unlike he had predicted for her to yank herself away from him, Maryam tightly held his shirt as she cried even harder. He just sat there, holding her to his body as he hugged her as tightly as he could, while she cried.
He slightly lifted her face to his when he felt as her cries subsided, she fixed her eyes on his, even though a bit teary. He was silent as he stared into her eyes, this time, the blue and green color rather calmed him down. Her eyes soothed something that seemed to be hurting in his heart.
"Whenever you want to go home, come to me, Mairam. I'm your home." He said with the softest voice possible and he had never meant something like he did now. He was her home and for her? He was yet to know what she would be to him. But one thing was certain, he knew when he found out about what she would be to him, she would be more important than a home.