Chapter 35 B

"Mairam," she shook her head to cut him off. Since she had finally mustered the courage to speak to him about it, she was going to do it before she couldn t do it anymore.
"You don t have to say that you won t, just because you ve seen these tears on my cheeks. By now, you should know that they re somehow one of the most natural things to easily come to me. I'm a burden to you, I know." She breathed at last, ducking her head down as she played with her fingers while she said the words out.
"My father begged you to marry me and you accepted it not because you wanted but because you pity us and I'm indebted to you for not letting him die wishfully. But really, Captain, you can get married to her, I know you will. She's obviously the daughter of a rich man and a rich woman herself. She s the type of woman you can proudly show off to your friends and family..." She let her words trailed off, and not just Na im that was awestruck at where she got the words or how the thoughts were even playing in her mind, she was shocked at what she was saying and how she was able to lay out her thoughts to him.
"I know I've made your life so hard since when I come into it, and I'm deeply sorry. But you re going to divorce me, that too, I know." Tears fell from her eyes as though her cheeks were a fountain and she didn t even know what prompted those emotions she was feeling in her heart. And after she was done talking, Maryam hated herself for speaking too much, for saying all the things she did and laying all her thoughts in the light for him to see.
He sighed and watched her cry. Na im wasn't sure whether she had heard their conversation with Hafiz or she had just come to that conclusion because of the kind of thoughts she was having. When he tried to touch her, she didn't bulge or fret or shook him away, she simply obeyed as he pulled her to his chest and she lay there, as silently as she could while she cried without even knowing her reason for doing so. She just felt like crying and she did.
Na im waited until her tears had subsided, he wasn t going to lie to her to say what she had concluded to wasn t going to happen because it would; he knew. He was going to divorce her no matter how long it would take him to do that. And for the other things too, she seemed to be right since he was never going to show her to anyone and he meant to hide her forever from everyone that knew him. Just that when he was going to get married, it would never be Nafisa.
"I'm sorry for making you feel that low of yourself, Mariam. Even though some of the things you ve speculated are right and I wouldn t justify or even try to explain. But if anything, I'm never going to marry Nafisa. I'll get married to someone else, certainly, but it would never be her, okay?"
She looked up at him with an innocence filled look and he felt stuck in her eyes. "Promise?" She asked, not bothered about his affirmation of getting married to someone else later in the future. She knew he would divorce her too, even Baaba had said he could but in some ways, it hurt her even to think of being separated from him.
He smiled at how easy she was to console, "Yes, I promise."
She sighed and ducked her head back where it was, "And about your soldier friend, I didn t mean it. Besides, that will happen when you either divorce me or you die. And if you divorce me I'll have to be killed to get married to another soldier, and you aren t going to die, right?"
He smiled before he nodded his head, even though she wasn t looking up to see him do that. "I won t die, Your Highness." He vowed and could hear her smile on his chest.
"That s your name, not mine."
"You re my wife, so it s officially yours as well."
"As if," she grunted, "I won t be your wife longer than a year or two maybe. I need to get away from you, I need to find something treasurable to me." He didn t speak, because she had left him gobsmacked. It was something he had never expected to hear from her and he kept his mouth shut and for the last thing she had said, Na im knew if it was as important as she proclaimed, she would speak to him about it again and he would ask her what she was going to find.
The henna was washed and even before they came out of the bathroom with the girl that helped her wash it, Maryam was so excited that she could barely wait. She ran towards him enthusiastically and he was watching her with a smile as bright as the sun while she ran to him until she stood in front of him, panting for breath. "Look!" She said excitedly and Na im was forced to tear his eyes down from her face, from those eyes that were filled with happiness for the first time since he had known her and he realized they somehow changed color due to her happiness.
She was showing him her hands as she slightly lifted her abaya so he could take a look of how incredibly beautiful her feet looked. And then without wanting to, Maryam took his hand and placed it on top of her head, "I ve told you about its softness, feel it." She looked giddy and sounded as cute as she looked.
He chuckled and nodded his head before he accepted the veil the lady was handing her. He wrapped it over her face and covered her whole hair before he entwined their hands and thanked the woman. "Where s Fatima?" He asked and she took them to her office.
Na im paid the bill before they spoke more about the clothes he had paid her to help buy and get someone to sew for Maryam. "Don t worry about her size," she said, while she looked at Maryam that kept to herself around them and wanted nothing but to leave this place even though she was so satisfied with their service. "We ve managed to take her size when she was asleep, because it would be a disaster for someone to do that when she s awake." He chuckled along with her and Maryam acted nonchalant.
They walked out of the saloon after Na im had collected her number and walked directly to where he had parked his car. She went inside wordlessly and he wondered what had happened to the excitement and happiness he had once seen in her eyes. He got to the driver s seat and watched the way she was fumbling with her seat belt and he smiled.
"Let me help you with that," he said and lounged towards her but she quickly shook her head, "No, I can do that myself."
"Are you sulking your face at me right now?" He couldn t believe it, he can t remember doing anything wrong. And she wasn t still angry about that talk they had because if she were, she wouldn t have ran towards him with all that happiness that was on her face.
"No, why will I?" When had this girl learned how to be sarcastic? He thought and suppressed a chuckle.
He placed down the key he was holding and wrapped his hands around his chest. "Unless you tell me what s wrong with you, we re not leaving this place and I might as well take you back to that saloon so they can do whatever they want to do to you." From the way he had hardened his expression, Maryam knew he meant every word he had uttered and that didn t look like something she would likely endure.
She shook her head and flashed him her best puppy eyes, "Let s leave, please." She silently begged and he shook his head, not even glancing her way. "You didn t say everything look beautiful," she finally forced the words out with a pout on her lips and he turned to her. Then it occurred him, that he didn t.
But the way she had ran towards him with that smile on her lips made everything stopped and the only thing he was able to see was the smile adorned on her lips. She looked like a damsel he had never seen in his life. Like the fairy he had silently named her in his soul. He got carried away by the color her eyes changed into when she was happy that he didn t realize he hadn t complimented her.
A slow smile graced his lips as he turned to face her, "Let me see it again then." He said and Maryam outstretched her hands in front of him and he took them slowly in his grasp. She watched with keen eyes how attentive he was to all the intricate designs of the henna and when his thumb softly touched hers, he felt the softness that wasn't usually there. She was glowing too.
"Everything looks so beautiful, Mairam. You look beautiful." Slowly, even though she didn t intend to, Maryam found herself smiling as widely as she could and he chuckled at the shyness she had shown afterwards.
"Can we leave now?" She asked, and Na im nodded with a smile.
"Yes, we can, Your Highness." She scrunched up her face at the name but didn t say anything while he drove. He parked his car in an ice cream parlor and got some for her and some few snacks, he knew she might not even know how to eat them, but he had gotten them for her nevertheless.
On their way back home, his phone rang and he hesitated before he took the call, it came from Hafiz. "Lieutenant," he called out, to show Hafiz that he preferred the call to be a professional one and he heard the sound of Hafiz saluting to him through the phone.
"Captain! You re needed in the barrack immediately." Instantly, he turned to Maryam that was happily licking her ice cream before he turned his attention back on the road and then to the phone that was in his hands.
"Is it an operation? Another insurgent attack?" He couldn t help but ask, because if that was the case, Na im would be disappointed. He had planned to spend the whole day with her, but it seemed like his plans weren't going to be executed now.
"Yes, Sir!" Hafiz saluted to him before Na im ended the call and he drove faster until they arrived at the palace and he took her back to her apartment.