Chapter 49 : Real Fight

But it wasn t like she was immune to him and those lips she was slowly beginning to love how amazingly they moved with hers. She wrapped her hands tightly around his waist and like he thought her how to, Maryam kissed him back as shyly as she could and gently, lovingly and thoroughly. It was like a torture having to break their lips apart, but Na im knew this was the limit he could stop himself, anything from here would be him making a grievous mistake he couldn't afford to pay for.
She looked into his eyes and flashed him such a lazy grin that was a complete turn on, "Come on, Noory, my lipstick!" He almost got carried away and thought she wanted the kiss again. He smiled softly and began applying the lipstick on her lips that were now heated by the kiss they shared. Dear lord, what had this girl done to him and would make of him in the little future they had to share?
...
They were about to be done getting all the clothes in her wardrobe when Bilkisu knocked and Maryam asked her to come in. She did, but the way she saw them, with Maryam seated beside him as they admired the designs sewn on a gown was something Bilkisu was uncomfortable with, but she had no other way out. "Bilkisu!" Maryam shrieked excitedly while Bilkisu carefully placed down the tray of food she had brought for them.
"Come and take a look, he bought a whole new wardrobe for me and I love all the clothes." She stood up and like she did to him, swayed a bit so that Bilkisu could see the clothes she was wearing.
Bilkisu smiled gently at her, she loved how he was taking care of them and loved it when Maryam was happy and that was always whenever he was together with her, "It looks so beautiful, Mero. I'll come and check them out when His Highness is gone." She only hated it at how close they seem that she feared something bad might happen between them and she wouldn t be there to protect Maryam from him, not that she would make a huge difference even if she were there.
"He said he d be here with me until night, right?" She turned to him with hopeful eyes and when Na im nodded his head, she giggled happily. Bilkisu could only shake her head with a tight lipped smile before she left the room and Maryam went over to the table. "I'm famished, Captain. Let s eat, we can continue arranging the clothes later please."
He walked to where she was already bringing the food down on the carpet and smiled at her, "It seems like you re hell bent on seeing my Dad scold me, right?" The mention of his Dad reminded him of what was going to happen in his life and how he had a very little chance or even no chance of escaping from all this. It was bound to happen, but he wished it wasn t Nafisa but some other girl he could easily lure into breaking everything herself.
She pulled him to the carpet and they sat down side by side that her hips brushed his with any slight move she made, Na im had to shift silently in a way that she wouldn t imagine he had created a space between them as she served them on a plate. "We used to eat together with Intisar on the same plate. I missed how it feels to eat with someone on the same plate, will you eat with me?" She asked innocently and he smiled before he nodded his head while she excitedly handed him his spoon and she took hers.
The mention of Intisar had created a strain in her heart, but Maryam wasn t going to show him that. She wanted to speak to him about Intisar but she didn t know where to begin from, if he would even believe her that his brother had a van full of young girls and they were no where to be seen now. Or maybe, they were taken to a different refugee camp? She wanted to ask him, she really did, but Maryam had no idea how to venture everything to him. So, just for today, Maryam decided to let it slide and she did. Next time, she would.
They ate silently, but her happiness was contagious and the smile on her eyes wasn t dulling any minute and he knew it was because of this clothes he had bought for her. Na im was staring at her as he thought how he would start living with another wife and he was expected to be intimate with someone other than Maryam. Even though he knew the thought of being intimate with Maryam had never crossed his mind, but at least, he knew she would be the only wife he would act all this childishly along with. She was someone he would laugh with and be himself without getting judged that his character was out of the royalty ethics.
"What would you do if I were to get married again, Mairam?" He found himself asking, because Na im felt as if he couldn t do what Hafiz wanted him to do, not telling her that he was getting married. She had said it herself once and now that he had asked, the abrupt change in her mood made him have a second thought about really telling her or not.
She sipped the drink for sometime before she stared up into his eyes, and the colors of her eyes were beginning to go back to normal, a sign that showed him the happiness she was feeling was beginning to vanish. Maryam sighed and he knew what she would say would sound older than her age and more matured than he would ever imagine she was the one that just spoke to him. "Are you getting married, Captain?"
This was the right time to tell her the truth, even though he knew if he told her about the divorce, it might break their marriage in the islamic view, but still. He chose not to tell her, he will when the time was perfect and for the wife, he knew so long as it was Nafisa, Maryam wouldn t be hidden from her for long. She knew her and she would have to ask her someday...anything might happen and it may be revealed.
"No, I was just thinking about it. If I were to get married again, what would you do, Maryam? Would you still stay as my wife or you d rather I divorce you? And that doesn t mean I won t still be taking care of you, No. I will, just that you will no longer be my wife and you can get married to someone else."
His words had brought such bitterness she had never tasted on her lips and she looked at him with so much pain in her eyes. She didn t know why she felt the way she did, but she knew it was too much for a heart like hers. It was just a speculation he had made, yet hearing the word divorce from him was so painful that she d give everything not to hear him voice it out again. She knew before, she had no idea what all this marriage was about and everything. But staying with Bilkisu and watching the movies she did, Maryam knew mostly all the things she had to know and now, she knew what he was to her as a husband.
And she wasn t willing to share him with anyone. So she shook her head. Taking care of her wouldn t amount to what having him as a husband would, she didn t want to loose him to someone else even though she painfully knew that was bound to happen. He was hiding her from the world and what you hid could easily be abandoned by you because no one knew about that thing to even ask you about it when its lost.
She had no family left and Maryam knew she would be so lonely if he left her, which he would. She didn t believe that he was asking this question just for him to know what she thought of it, she knew better. She knew she might not be able to find Intisar and both her parents were dead, so having someone that was hers, blood connected wouldn t be a bad idea after all.
"Bilkisu said I can give birth to a baby now, right?" She got straight to the point and saw the way his eyes dilated as though he wasn t expecting that question from her, but he nodded his head nevertheless. "Where can we get the baby then? I need to find an alternative that will fill your spot when you leave. Is it at the refugee camp? Will he or she love me like Intisar do and will never leave me for anyone else? Just someone that will be here with me forever, that s who you should give to me." She dropped down her spoon, not knowing if her words were making sense, she could already feel the ache of loosing him.
"Mairam, you re taking this to a different dimension. I was only asking you to chose, not that I was going to do it." He felt bad for lying blatantly to her face, but it was to save her the agony, at least before he did what he lied about not doing.
She smiled painfully at him, "I know you d eventually get married to someone else, someone you can show proudly to your family and everyone that knows you, not a liability like I am. I..." She stopped and stifled back her tears, "Let s just not talk about it, I'm sleepy." She stood up and went to bed, aware of his eyes that were still on her and the fact that they still had clothes to arrange in her wardrobe, but she didn t want to see him now. He might take a week or more before he came, and she would miss him as though her life depended on him. Yet, simple words from him would have her not wanting to hear from him ever again in her entire life.
"Ma-" she cut him off even before he called her name and covered herself with her duvet, "I ll let you know of what I choose later, when I've decided. So that it will be easier for you to go on and marry the woman you want, Your Highness." Na im felt as her words struck his heart that he couldn t voice a word out.
Even though it pained hom, but it was a good thing that she was angry. That meant she wouldn t be longing for him even when he didn t show up to her door. She would be so angry at him that she d even want him far away from her as possible. He smiled painfully and walked out of the room, closing the door for her. The moment Maryam heard the sound of him closing the door behind him, she broke into tears without knowing her reason for doing that.