Chapter 87: A Promised Gift

Hafiz came over and sat there while she sighed out of relief. Because she could imagine what would be of Na'im if something had happened to Maryam, nothing would've stopped him from becoming as crazy as he could. Maybe that would be the cause of whatever bad thing Umma wished for him. If only they had known, Maryam was the only key point to his destruction and resurrection at the same time.
She smiled at the thought of someone being in love with you so much and so evidently that whoever wanted to hurt that person would only need to hurt you, because they knew it was going to hurt more if they did it that way. She knew that Maryam was lucky to get such luck, it was beautiful. To be loved to that extent, so wholeheartedly and pure that gave you no room for any doubts and it got to the point that the only thing you could count on with the whole of your confidence was the love of that person.
She didn't know she was smiling even though she looked so distressed until she heard the sound of someone clearing his voice beside her and when she turned around and her gaze fell on Hafiz, her smile vanished and anger found its place in her eyes. He looked pained by her sudden change of expression, but acted subtle and smiled at her. She was about to stand up when Hafiz held her wrist reluctantly and she stared between his face and his hand that was holding her wrist, but he didn't release her.
"What's that for? Let go of me!" She said through gritted teeth and when she tried to yank her wrist out of his hold. He was holding her so tight that she nearly fell, but there was a strong arm on her back that kept her steady and Saima wished she had the courage to slap him. "Speak or let me go, Soldier." Oh, well, damn her mouth for getting used to calling him that.
"Please sit, I just need ten minutes to speak with you." She had straightened on her feet, but he was still holding her wrist and Saima knew she would have to nurture her heart for these body contacts she had had with him.
"Five minutes, take it or leave it." She rolled her eyes at him and could see that he was pleased for the time she had given him.
"Oh dear, thank you." He gently pulled her back to the seat and smiled, "Please, sit."
Even though she wanted to argue with him, Saima silently sat and she kept rolling her eyes at him which had obviously made him smile. He waited until she shifted at the far end of the bench before Hafiz shifted closer to her that she had no other choice but to sit very close to him and he sighed.
"I'm sorry for doing what I did and saying those things to you," he began, but she had her eyes fixed on an empty wall and one would think she wasn't even listening to him, but she was.
"If you're sorry, you shouldn't have done that in the first place." She said with pain laced on her voice as she rolled her eyes at him, "I wonder why you seem so bothered. Maybe you've missed the kind of attention you get from me? Which is funny if that's the reason because, you only get that once. It'd be easier if you start learning to how move on with your life."
He gulped down a lump in his throat as he nodded his head amidst the chaos going through his mind. "I've tried doing that, to move on from everything and forget about it, but trust me, it's harder than you think. I kept telling myself that it's for the best and what I did was the right thing, but Princess, I couldn't take you out of my mind for even a second and that's not a good thing for a soldier."
She was staring at him with an unbelievable expression and that gave him the chance to continue with what he was saying, "I told myself that I'm no match for you and my heart shouldn't love someone it can never get, but I can't force my heart not to fall in love, because it did, maybe longer before we've started being friends." He sighed and was about to speak again when she cut him off.
"Why would you tell yourself that you can't get me? Who does that?" She was rolling her eyes at him to show him that she was angry at him for such thought, but there were tears gleaming in her eyes. She didn't know why it pained so much when she knew she had moved on completely from him.
He smiled sadly at her before he pointed at her then to himself, "We're different in everything that matters, Saima..."
She shook her head, she knew where this was going and she'd be damned if she let him finish it. "I guess you mean that we're no match because of Umma? Or is it because of Yarima Sadeeq and you don't wish yourself to love someone that's deeply related to these people because you're afraid I could turn out to be the same person like them one day?" She was tired of fighting for people's love when everyday they kept refusing that she was different from those they hated that much. She was different from them, she didn't have a heart like theirs and she wanted something entirely different out of life compared to them.
While they wanted power, money and the will to do and say everything without being challenged. Saima wanted the little things like love, family, companionship and happiness. But why was it so hard for people to realize? Everyone jumped into the conclusion that she was going to be the same like her mother and brother and they hated her at first glance.
She palmed her face when she felt her tears coming in such a rush that she wouldn't be able to stop them, her heart ached and her entire body shook with so much agony. "I'm different," she mumbled, but she was sure the words came out with no sound due to how badly she was crying. If only she had known this was what he was going to tell her, to touch that delicate part of her heart that would take months to heal, Saima wouldn't have listened to him.
Hafiz was just staring at her how she badly cried and he wondered how it was possible for something to think the worse of a situation, hurt himself so bad and then began to cry like she was now. That wasn't what he was going to say, damn it! He had never thought about that because he needed no proof that she was different from those horrible people. She didn't have to prove herself, damn it!
But she wasn't going to listen to him now even if he tried to tell her that it wasn't right. So, he did the only thing that would work, Hafiz gently placed his arm around her shoulders and brought her to his body. Side hugging her to offer her the comfort that she had first started to fight off, but when she felt his strong body firmly holding onto her, Saima had no other choice but to lean her head on his shoulder as she cried bitterly.
That was it, the end of everything? Will Umma and Sadeeq's habit continue to destroy everything for her? Will she ever find the love and family she wanted in the people she loved without something they did or were currently doing came in the way for her? The agony was too much for her, but if this was a test from Allah, she would make sure she pass it.
She had to force herself to stop crying because there was no use getting comfort and ease from someone that wasn't going to be in her life. She lifted her head from his body and found his worried eyes fixed on hers, "Thank you for being the kind of friend you were, Soldier. Maybe later in life, we might be friends again, but for now, I'd love to keep distance from you." They were her family. She knew and accepted that they were bad people, but that didn't mean she would choose to condemn that at every given chance. She wasn't going to do that just so she could get a love that seemed temporary in all aspects.
Hafiz sighed and watched her stood up before she outstretched her hand towards him. She meant for him to shake her hand for the last time, to show him that the deal was sealed and there was nothing more between them. She didn't give him a chance to speak, he thought, but he knew, with the look in her eyes, even if he said everything he wanted, Saima would never have listened to him.
So, he took her hand and shook it silently, weighing the grief he felt in his heart and calculating how long it would take for him to move on from this love he had been carrying along with him for years. If only she knew how long he had been in love with her, she wouldn't have said and did what she did now. He watched her walked away after she had slipped her hand from his and it felt like fire dropping onto his heart.
?
"Why is it that you didn't pick my calls yesterday, Hoor? Do you have any idea how scared I was? I really thought something had happened to you." She had been hearing him complained about how he had been calling her yesterday but there was no response. This was exactly why she asked both Saima and Hafiz not to please tell anyone in the palace, lest someone went ahead and told him and knowing Na'im so well, Maryam knew he would take the next flight back to Nigeria.
She smiled lovingly, the only time she was free and happy as she used to be was when she was on phone with him. Intisar was making her hair now, pleating it for her like she used to when they lived in Magumeri and it was such an amazing feeling to know that indeed, this sister she loved so much was back into her life, and for good.
She nibbled on the snacks Bilkisu had made for her. Even though Mammi asked her to stop taking too much sugar, these snacks seemed to be the only thing she could eat and be full. "I've missed you too, Captain." She said sarcastically and heard the grunt that escaped his lips, which forced her to burst into a peal of laughter.
"You know so well that's not what I'm trying to say, right? What happened to you yesterday? I'm sure you wouldn't stop picking my calls that way unless there's something that has gone wrong." When she was silent for some minutes, Na'im whined again. "Come on, Hoor, I'm dying with concern over here."
"Okay," she sighed, knowing so well that unless she told him something, Na'im was never going to let her rest from that. "I fell a bit sick yesterday, so I took my pills and I've been sleeping throughout. You know how lazy those pills make me. I didn't want to tell you because I know you'd be worried, just like you are, hence the silence."
He was about to reply when Adeel came out of the door and he found him in the balcony, "There you are, Yarima. We've been looking for you but to no avail. Abba said he's going to stay in, something about the king not going to be seen in malls shopping for clothes." They both laughed at that, even though Na'im's laugher seemed a bit distressed.
"I wonder who knows the king of Maiduguri in Quebec," Na'im said as he began to stand up, "Hoor, are you there?" He asked and she smiled before she nodded her head as if he was right there staring at her.