Chapter 46 28: Comforting Hug

Staring right into her eyes with his hands placed on her shoulders, he couldn t believe what she had just done to him. It had never occurred to him that she was realizing everything he had done to her and was even up for offering him the same if he needed some until today and he was so moved by this movement than anything had ever moved him in his life. Her eyes were so full of innocence when she looked up at him with a soft smile.
"Feeling any better?" She asked, and he nodded his head at her. Trying so hard to remember the name he had heard her called him but couldn t. And he knew if he were to ask her that might even make her to stop calling him that for the remaining year he had with her as a wife.
"Yes, much better. Thank you so much for the comfort, Mairo. May Allah bless your life, and inshallah Allah you re not going to die anytime soon, okay?" She chuckled and nodded her head at him. He leaned towards her and was aware of how she had gasped slightly, thinking that maybe he was going to kiss her again.
But Na im knew he wasn t about to make that mistake again even if his life was going to defend on that, never. He kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes, relishing the new feeling that swarmed into her entire being for the first time. She felt loved, that was it and her heart was soothed with that forehead kiss. "Congratulations, my baby. And happy birthday once again to you." He said when he lifted away from her body.
"I'm not a baby," she argued and Na im only nodded his head and watched the smile that she was trying so hard to hide but couldn't.
"This..." She said absentmindedly as she caress the place his mouth had kissed her on the forehead, the smile never leaving her face. "In some ways, I love it more than the other one." Na im chuckled at that, and brought up the tray she had kept aside in between them. The last thing he wanted to think about while he was still together with her was yesterday s kiss, yet she didn t seem as shy as she had been before when she referred to it.
"Let s have you eat something. Then you ll take your pills and try to sleep, okay?" She nodded her head and watched him served the food in a plate. She was about to collect the spoon from his hand when Na im shook his head, but the thing that had prompted him to do what he was about to do was unknown to him and he had never imagined he would do something like that. "Wait, today is your birthday, I'll feed you myself." She blushed and watched how he had scooped the spoon with the meal and she reluctantly opened her mouth.
There were no words spoken between them as he fed her and Maryam had her eyes fixed on his ethereally looking face and not believing that it was that soldier that had turned to this delicate human that treated her as though she were the clumsiest egg on earth. She wouldn t lie about this, she loved it. She loved the attention she was getting from him and how good he was at treating her.
"I'm full," she said when he brought forward the spoon as she shook her head, but those thoughts were still running in her mind. "Have you eaten? Let s ask Bilkisu to bring in another spoon for you so you can eat."
"No, this too is fine." And Na im wasn t done speaking when she collected the spoon from him and shyly, Maryam motioned for him to open his mouth so she could feed him as well. It felt so weird to him, having a 16 years old, oops, a 17 years old girl feeding him as lovingly as Maryam did, but he enjoyed it so much for his ego to overpower him.
She had finished feeding him and when Bilkisu walked in to take the tray out, she found him placing the pills in Maryam s mouth while she grimaced and forcing the water down to her throat. Bilkisu was so bothered by how close they were and how it seemed to her that Na im found even the slightest excuse to touch Maryam, which was so disturbing to her. She nearly made a comment and quickly reminded herself of who he was, and how fast he was capable of changing her entire life before she walked away.
Na im didn't leave the room until he had tucked her in her bed and kissed her forehead, once again. She had smiled lovingly and squeezed his hand that she was still holding before she grinned. "Will you be back?" She had asked sleepily. She didn t realize how much she needed the sleep until she had her head placed on the pillow and her eyes began to close by themselves.
"No, I won t. I'll come by tomorrow to check up on you or in a few days. But I'm fine even if I don t, okay? So, don't bother yourself, I'll stop by whenever I'm free." He knew he had to distance himself from her with immediate effect. Because if yesterday he had kissed her as roughly as he did, Na im knew today if he dared set feet in this room, he might exceed just kissing her and he didn t want that to happen.
She looked disappointed but she still held that smile on her lips, "Take care of yourself, you shouldn't be shot again." Drawling the words out, Maryam closed her eyes and felt as he pulled his hand away from her hand.
"Yes, Your Highness." He smiled longingly at her, stared at her for a few minutes before he gently closed the door between them. And hopefully, if he could, he would close this door forever but Na im knew that would have to be the last thing he would ever get to do in his life.
?
"Captain, are you there?!" Nafisa called out his name a bit loudly and brought him out of his reverie, which had made him realized that he was together with her few minutes ago, yet, since when he came here all he was thinking about was Maryam and in some ways, this was proving to be unhealthy to him.
"Sorry, I got so carried away, Dr." He said and sipped the drink in front of him before he spoke, a bit calmly now, "Can you please repeat what you said?"
Nafisa sighed and her shoulders slumped in defeat, she didn t know if at this rate she was going to win his heart, but there was no way she was going to give up. She had asked around, and among his ex-fiancées, none of them had ever gotten a second chance with him. He didn t even have contact with them, she was the only one and that seemed like destiny throwing the lucky chance to her.
"I asked if there was still a chance for us in your heart? Na im, I know this is the umpteenth time we re having this conversation and maybe your answer would still be same, but I wish it would change. This..." She pointed at the space between them across the table and smiled, "This is destiny giving us another chance at our love, Na im. I understand that you claim to have forgotten about all the women you ve had a romantic relationship with, and maybe if you were even going to be asked about the number of your ex-fiancées, you wouldn t be able to say it correctly, but..." She watched as his expression began to change, yet Nafisa was so determined that unless he had a gun placed on the crown of her head, she wasn't going to keep shut.
"I still love you, Na im. I don t think I'll ever love something like I love you and even though you weren t so open in our relationship before, it was so sweet and pure that I'd kill to have it brought back to me." Tears began to pool the brink of her eyes, "Please don t break my heart again, Na im. I may not be able to handle it if you do."
Na im stared right into her eyes as he thought of the perfect reply to give her without hurting her, just like Hafiz had suggested he did. He sighed and sipped his drink again, "Nafisa," he said calmly and it seemed that calling her name had eased some part of her agony. "First thing, I'd like to clarify a few things to you and I'd appreciate it if you just listen to me without interrupting, please?" She nodded her head, breathing softly to give room for the tears that had accumulated in her eyes to dry off before he continued.
"I didn t 'claim to forget about all the women I was engaged to, I really forget them. Well, maybe forgetting is a bit soft to what I actually feel, y all feel like strangers to me, Nafisa. And even though I've seen pictures I've snapped with some of you, messages I've sent to some, I still couldn t believe it, Nafisa. I still think that maybe Alan Gubro wants me to get married so bad that he could have everything arranged. I know of the days y all claimed that I were dating or being in a romantic relationship with you, but I can t remember what I did with my time when you said we ve spent it together." He saw how her tears began to roll painfully on her cheeks and he sipped his drink. He had to do it once and for all.
"And this isn t just about you, Nafisa. This is about every other woman I've ever been together with, not just you. I tend to forget, every memory of y all that I have in my mind is vanished and I believe every proof shown to me is photoshopped. You see, I can t even remember your names, the only way to differentiate between the daughter of that minister, that senator, that governor or that king is by saving your numbers as the so called dates we were supposed to get married on." He gently pulled his phone out and went through his contact list, briskly showing her all the dates he had mentioned and when her eyes got to 28th December, Nafisa laughed dryly amidst her tears.
"It s good to see that you still remember the dates though." The expression on his face told her otherwise, "Or maybe, you cared to ask would ve been the best thing I said."
He smiled and nodded his head, "I m sorry for having to hurt you twice about this, Dr, but I can t do this. I don t know how to bring myself into loving a woman, I know you claimed that I used to love you before, but I don't feel it in my heart."