Chapter 51 : Hurting Hearts

"I thought that you didn t have the nerve to call, turns out that I was very wrong about you, Nafisa." His words came out through gritted teeth and he knew it would only take seconds before she burst into tears, just that Na im wasn t affected by anyone else s tears but that of Maryam.
She smiled painfully, "I thought that it was the duty of the groom to call the bride, but it turns out that things are always different with us. I called to speak to you about the wedding, ours, let me be more precise before you claim amnesia again." That made him laugh, even though humorlessly and Nafisa felt a chill ran down to her spine.
"I thought I cared enough to explain to you but look at you, being sarcastic about it." Na im sighed and palmed his face as he sit upright, "I shouldn t have wasted my time explaining things to you. And what is it about the wedding? Do we have something to talk about? I thought I made myself clear the last time we met?" His voice was edged with anger and resentment and he knew they were getting right into her heart, which he wanted to. She might not easily give up on him, but being hurt by him to an extent might make her do that.
She smiled and he could taste her despair through the phone, "I m certain being in love with you is my nemesis in life, just like you ve claimed that day, Na im."
"I thought I made myself clear, Nafisa. All it takes is to love yourself more and you ll get yourself out of this thing you ve dragged us both in. Call it off, that s the only way you d be safe. Or else, you might need a therapy yourself because I promise to offer you nothing even when you become my wife, you will have the title of being my wife, surely, but that s it."
She broke into tears like he imagined she would after a few words from him and even though he felt guilty for hurting a woman, he knew this would be the only way out. "You re so brutal with your words, Na im. The only thing you could do is be nice, or do you think if falling out of love was easy I wouldn t have done that since?" She was angry even though she was in tears and he prayed that his plan might work.
"You will choose to let me go even if you don t fall out of love, Nafisa. That will come eventually, I don t know how many times I have to make myself clear to you that I do not love you and never will." She cut him off, because she realized he might as well choose to kill her with his words. If love was a punishment, then she didn't know what god intended Na im to be in her life.
"Can you please be more soft with your words? You re hurting me, Na im! I feel like taking my own life, for god sake, what s so hatable about me that you can t love me back even if it s a pinch of how much I love you?" He had not intended to make her doubt herself, but if only she could walk into his shoes for a day, then she would know why he was doing this to her.
He knew if he wanted to be together with Maryam even if she were his wife she had no right to stop him, but he just had no intention of marrying anyone as long he was still married to Maryam. "God, it didn t occur to me that you d doubt yourself, Nafisa. I'm sorry for making you feel that way but that s what I feel..."
She cut him off again, "Do you have someone you love? And if yes, why can t you get married to her and then maybe get yourself settled to come back and marry me? I just can t let you go, Na im!"
"I can t marry you but if you have my father force me into doing so, you d only be the one at the receiving end, that's it. If that s all you called to speak about, I'm done here and I m not interested in any event whatsoever. You can just do whatever you like." He ended the call before she even had the chance to speak to him because he didn't want to feel guilty on top the anger he felt.
He stood up and began pacing the whole room in anger, he wanted to calm himself down, but deep down Na im knew Nafisa had just topped on his feelings but he had been angry at himself since two weeks ago. He wanted to see her, yet he knew he had no chance at that and would have no choice but to stay aloof and act as though every time he saw Teacher Aminu he wasn't prompted to go and check what was going on with her life. He had asked him about how she was doing and the answers were impressive, yet Na im knew better.
He cursed under his breathe as he got a jallabiya on his body, "Damn you, Mairam!" He walked out and was walking directly to her apartment without entertaining any thoughts because he didn t want to have a change of mind or something to remind him that he had to run back for them to be able to separate as easily as he would want them to. But it was killing him not being able to see her, touch her and kiss those luscious lips of hers. Even though he had created a line and stopped himself, he would never kiss her again.
He knocked on the door and there were minutes that passed before he heard someone walked to the door, even though he had seen the lights of the living room were on since when he stood there. "Who are you?" Her tiny voice uttered and he had already felt relieved without seeing her. A part of his being had told him to just leave, hearing her voice was enough to for him, yet he felt hungry for more and he would be dead if he didn't get it.
"It s me, open up." He said, trying so hard to adjust his voice so she wouldn t think that he was being rude to her and he might not be able to get the comfort he wanted from her. For them to just laugh together and do all those childish stuff she made him do before.
"I can t open the door for anyone. Who are you? Don t you have a name?" She said through gritted teeth and Na im didn t know when he softly smiled. He knew he didn t have to say anything, she knew who it was yet she was so angry at him to just easily open the door for him. Not coming there for two whole weeks wasn t easy on either of them but he thought they had adapted, yet this was enough to show him that none of them did.
"My name is Na im Abubakar Bolori." He heard her scoffed, but she made no attempt to open the door whatsoever. That amused Na im and it made him more eager to set his eyes on her, what a lovely creature she was.
"I'm sorry but I don t know you. I'd appreciate it if you walk back from where you belong to because you re not appreciated here." He heard her steps trying to walk back to either her room or where she was seated watching or whatever it was she was doing. Na im realized he didn't come out with his keys of the apartment and he knew, he wouldn t leave this place until she opened the door for him.
"It s your husband, Mairam. Won t you open the door?" He still couldn t believe that she had no intention of seeing him. And this was the time for him to just walk back to his chamber and forget about every going to see her unless Bilkisu came to him that something had happened, but no. He wanted to see her and what she just did had hiked his hunger for her.
She chuckled sarcastically, "I don t have a husband, mister. If you d please leave and go back to your wife, you re obviously mistaking me for someone else."
"Hoor, open up the door please. I'll apologize when you do." He knew that was their code for opening the door for him and he heard her gasped slightly, as if she didn t imagine that he would even remember ever telling her that unless she heard him say Hoor, she shouldn't open the door for anyone.
He felt her hesitation before she turned the keys and didn't even turned the doorknob to open the door for him when she walked back into the living room. Na im walked in and stood by the door, staring at how she had her books laid out in front of her while she read and made some notes. So, that was what she was doing, he thought. He didn't know when he felt so proud of her and smiled as widely as he could before he walked towards the sofa she was seated on.
He sat down beside her and she shifted, still not acting as though she hadn t seen him. "Aren't you going to speak to me, Hoor?" He knew this was the only name that would prompt her to listen to him. She didn't have to tell him that she loved the name, Na im knew she did from the way her eyes always moved whenever she heard him call her that.
She kept making notes on her book as if she didn t feel his presence beside her and that with each breath she took, Maryam wanted to throw herself over him and cry her frustration out. But she was meant to ignore him until he got tired and leave and that was exactly what she was going to do. She heard him moved closer to her and she shifted, he kept doing that until the only option she had was to slid down on the carpet and she was about to do that when he held her wrist and she turned with a heated look on her face.
"Let go of me!" He had never seen her looked this angry in his life that her eyes were a color of bloodshot due to the anger she felt. Wordlessly, Na im released her and she slid on the carpet, he followed her step and sat down beside her.
She kept on writing angrily on her book that he was certain she wasn t doing the right thing when he got tired and took the books away from her. She turned to look at him, the anger still evident on her face as she flashed him those eyes that once again, unnerved his entire being. "Give the books back and leave, please." She said through gritted teeth, making sure every word she had uttered was sound and clear to him but Na im placed down the book behind him and turned to face her fully.