Chapter 52

The next few months flew by for everyone else. But, to me, it seemed to drag. I went through the motions of the day, playing gigs with my band, shopping for clothes for stage and for the trip, but I was secretly looking over my shoulder, waiting for Logan, hoping beyond all hope that he would come walking through the door.
"What's up?" Noah asked after our band rehearsal one night. We were leaving for our tour in just a few days, so I pushed the thought of Logan out of my mind and spent my time saturated in the music. But it wasn't the same. I wasn't the same.
"Hum?" I asked, finishing the rift I'd been playing, half paying attention. The studio spent the bucks and got me three new guitars to switch between during the show: two electric guitars and another plugged-in acoustic. I'd been using them over the past few weeks, and I loved the feel of them.
"Alyssa, stop and look at me."
"How's Stacy?" I asked. It'd been the same thing week after week. He's concerned, I deny.
"Damn it! Stop changing the subject and look at me, Alyssa," Noah said. He was the only one that could get by with talking to me that way.
I let out an exasperated breath as I squealed my rift to an abrupt halt. "What?" It wasn't as if I didn't already know what he was going to say. After all, he'd already said it a hundred times before.
Noah let out his breath in a rush. "Alyssa, let him go."
I wheeled around and glared at him. "I already have! What do you think I've been doing over these past few months, anyway?"
"Existing," Noah replied flatly. "Look, Allie. I know what you're going through, but you have to let him go."
"You know what I'm going through?" I asked, a bit too loudly. Everyone was packing up, and stopped to stare, so I lowered my voice. "You have no idea what I'm going through."
He nodded. "Yeah. You're right," he said as he placed his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. "The one I love is at home, waiting for me, pregnant with my child. So, no; I don't know what you're going through. But I do know that you can't throw your life away for him. You have a future "
"Yeah. I know." I gave him a pat on the chest. "But I'm not throwing anything away."
"The hell you're not!"
Everyone stopped packing up to stare again.
"Everything okay?" Shawn asked as he stepped away from his guitar case.
I nodded. "Everything's fine."
He nodded, but gave Noah a dirty look as he turned his attention back to his bass guitar.
"Alyssa," Noah began again in a lower voice. "You're going through the motions of your life, but you've lost something."
"What?"
He shook his head, trying to find the right words. "I don't know the life inside of you, I guess." He let out a deep breath. "You've lost your joy. And if you don't find it soon, then you may lose it forever. I don't want that to happen to you."
I nodded. At the far side of the room, Craig stood in silhouette. I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to Noah. "I appreciate it,
but I have everything under control."
He nodded, and then looked over his shoulder and gave Craig a dirty look. "Just be careful."
"I appreciate that," I said, forcing a smile. "Okay, Teddy Bear. Time to go home to your wife."
He smiled and nodded as he picked up his guitar. "Just think about what I said."
Craig walked up and looked around at the band. "That's what I'm here to talk to all of you about," he said in a loud voice, catching everyone's attention. Everyone stopped and looked at him. "Since you're leaving for the tour in a few days, take the rest of the time off. Meet me at the bus in the studio parking lot Monday. Take the weekend to be with your families and rest up. We'll leave bright and early Monday morning." Everyone cheered. "But if you're not there by six in the morning, we're going to leave your ass behind."
"That means you, Brett!" Wyatt teased.
"Fuck you!" Brett replied.
"Hey!" Noah intervened. "There's a lady present."
Brett looked at me and smirked. "Sorry, but Alyssa's one of the guys."
"Ha, ha," I said, smiling as I closed up my guitars.
"Wait. I'll help you carry them out," Noah said.
"I have them," I said as I packed up my last guitar. "Go home, big brother. I've got this."
"Not on your life."
"I'll help her," Craig said, as he stepped up, crossing the room quickly.
I gave him a dirty look. "Craig, I'll be there Monday. But I think that you've already done enough."
Ignoring me, he crossed the room and picked up two of the guitars.
Noah looked at me with his eyebrows raised, asking me silently if I was good with it.
I nodded once, and then turned back to Craig. "Craig, let's just keep this professional. I'll be there Monday."
Holding the two guitars, Craig nodded toward the door.
"Are you okay?" Noah asked, waiting for my answer. He obviously didn't like leaving me alone with Craig.
Everyone else had already left.
I nodded. "I'll be fine. See you Monday."
He forced a smile. "Okay. See you then."
I picked up the other two guitars and watched as Noah walked out the door. Then, I turned my attention toward Craig. "What?"
"Is that any way to talk to your agent?" he asked, headed toward the door.
I shrugged. "When he sets me up and chases off my fiancé, then yes."
He stopped and looked into my eyes. "I don't know what you think you saw, but I didn't have anything to do with that. I didn't know Bryant was going to kiss you like that."
"Liar!" I yelled. "You saw Logan and you set me up! But for the life of me, I can't imagine why."
"I did no such thing," he said, setting down a guitar. The warehouse had cleared out and we were alone. "But if you really think that, then I'll be glad to step down as your manager. I know several other managers who would jump at the chance to represent you."
I took a deep breath. "What was that wad of money you handed him?"
He smiled without humor. "I was paying him under the table for the gig, Alyssa!" Craig took a deep breath and licked his lower lip, collecting his thoughts. "He owes the IRS some back taxes, and I paid him under the table. No paper trail. But keep that between us."
I shook my head in disbelief, not knowing what to think. "You mean that Bryant Hall just randomly kissed me?"
Craig shrugged. "He's been known to do it," he said, letting out a deep breath. "Alyssa, he's used to girls falling at his feet. But I had a talk with him and told him that if he ever pulled something like that with you again then I'd drop him and his new band."
I raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"
He nodded. "Seriously." He bent down and picked up the guitars again as a slight smile spread across his lips. "Come on. I have a little surprise for you."
I rolled my eyes. "You've got to be kidding."
"As a gesture of good faith," he added, unable to contain his smile. When I stepped outside, I couldn't believe my eyes. My sister Greer was leaning against my car door.
"Well, it's about time you came out," Greer said, pushing away from the car. "So, what's this I hear about a nationwide tour?"