Chapter 84
When I opened the door to my hotel room, I went straight into my bedroom, plopped my clutch down onto the side table, and sat down on the bed. A fresh wave of tears came to my eyes as I let the tears flow, thinking of Logan. Everything was suddenly fresh in my mind again: looking into his eyes for the last time, the accident, and the horn screaming loudly, breaking the silence of the night, echoing what I was feeling, and then nothing as I passed out, after I was thrown forty feet from the car. I lay down as images of Logan in the candlelight came to mind as we had our picnic on the floor
I sat up on the edge of the bed and rubbed my eyes as my heart fluttered within my chest. Did I really see Logan tonight, or am I finally losing my mind? I let out a deep breath and slipped on my robe. Walking out to the living room, I absentmindedly turned on the television. Maybe watching a little news or a show might take my mind off things. Enough for me to sleep, anyway.
A commercial for feminine hygiene came on, so I got up and made myself a drink.
"Now, in the political arena," a reporter wearing a shoulder-length blonde bob and a bright red blazer said to the camera. "Mayor Townsend and many senators and governors from all over the nation attended tonight's political rally." I turned around, suddenly compelled to watch. "Also in attendance were business men and investors from all walks of life, including business tycoon Curt Davis." All of a sudden, the reporter's voice grew chipper. "And tonight's entertainment came straight from Nashville! Newcomer Casey Rogers wooed the audience most of the night " The camera showed a soundless clip of Casey performing on stage, and then panned the crowd and landed on a man that looked exactly like Logan. I dropped my glass on the floor as ice, rum, and coke splattered across the beige carpet. But I didn't take my eyes off the television. The camera panned away as the reporter droned on, showing another clip of Casey, and then went on to another story.
I grabbed the back of the nearby couch to steady myself as I stared at the television screen, not really seeing it.
The door opened and someone walked into the room, but I didn't turn around to see who it was as I stared blindly at the figures dancing across the television screen.
Suddenly, there was a hand on my shoulder. "Are you all right, Ms. Collins?" Casey asked, snapping me out of my trance.
I turned around and bit my lower lip, unable to speak as I nodded.
Seeing the distraught look on my face, Casey's eyebrows suddenly pulled together in concern. "Alyssa, what's wrong? What happened?"
I shook my head, willing the lump in my throat to go away. "Nothing," I croaked, and then cleared my throat. "It's nothing." I let out a deep breath and gently squeezed her shoulder, forcing a smile. "You did a great job tonight, Casey. You handled the crowd like a pro, as if you had been doing this your whole life. I'm going to recommend that Frank sign you immediately. Just keep your nose clean and you're on your way."
She nodded, but the good news didn't take away the concern in her eyes, reminding me too much of how people looked at me after the accident; after Logan died. "Alyssa, what's wrong?"
I turned away, unable to stand the look of concern and pity in her eyes, although she meant well. "It's nothing, Casey. I'm just not feeling well. It's been a long night. Go ahead and get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning."
Without turning around, I walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind me, the mess on the living room floor forgotten.
I slipped off my robe and let it fall to the floor. When I climbed into bed, a fresh wave of tears rolled down my cheeks and onto the pillow as images of Logan assaulted my mind. Then I suddenly remembered Curt. I turned over and threw my arm across my forehead, pushing the thoughts of Curt out of my mind. After all, I had just met him and would probably never see him again.
My head spun as thoughts of Logan and Curt flashed within my mind's eye, playing over and again like a bad movie. "That's it," I said aloud as I sat up on the edge of the bed. "I'm finally losing my mind. I'm feeling guilty because of Curt and am imagining seeing Logan. Well, that's just great! Alyssa, you've finally gone off the deep end."
Unable to stand it any longer, I let out a deep breath as I walked over to the window and pulled back the curtain as the bright lights of the city below rushed into the room. The streets of Manhattan were bustling, truly the city that never sleeps. Of course, it can't be Logan, I thought to myself, but if it is, why did he let me think that he was dead all this time? Suddenly, I started feeling angry. If he didn't want me anymore, he could have just broken up with me, not let me think that he was dead. Then, I remembered the engagement ring that he bought me. I walked across the room to my suitcase and flung it onto the bed and opened it. In the top compartment, I fished around and pulled out the blue sapphire engagement ring that he had bought me. I no longer wore it, but I would cherish it for the rest of my life. Anger soon dissipated and tears rolled down my cheeks as I remembered the look of love in his eyes when he asked me to marry him. I carried the ring back to the window and watched the cars pass by below, ants following one another, hurrying to who knows what. I looked down at the ring as I thought of Logan. It's funny how you don't appreciate life and what you have until it's taken away or until you lose it all.