Chapter 27 - A Million Screams and Face Of A Goddess

Lilith looked at Raymond and then at the letter in her hands, it was also accompanied by a newspaper. The letter came from the Queen, the newspaper came from a vendor in town. She was not sure which one to read first, certain that both of them would upset the Duke.

He was too busy to even look up at her. And although he told her that she should get rid of all the letters that came from the castle, after the Queen visited yesterday, she was sure that it was a bad idea. Raymond was going to have to take the throne, it was inevitable. Things were changing, and so, Lilith made sure that she would not be careless with the letters sent to the manor again.

Lilith was already aware of the contents of the newspaper, which was why she had it. The groundskeeper went out every morning to bring the newspaper for Raymond and when she read the headline, she knew that it was not something she could just toss on Raymond's desk and wait for him to read.

The silence of Lilith was making Raymond shift. She stood in front of his desk but did not say anything. He was trying to act as if he was unaffected by it, but the longer she was silent, the more it bothered him. Was something wrong? Had his mother died too?

At that thought, he glanced up at her. "Is there a reason you are standing there?" His eyes caught onto the objects in her hands and he stiffened slightly.

"A letter... has come from the Queen," she said slowly.

Raymond sighed, whether it was out of relief or annoyance was unknown to him. Automatically, he said, "Throw it out."

"Your Grace, after the visitation of the Queen, do you not think it best to look at the letters she sends you, it could contain something important."

"If it is that important, then my mother would have come to tell me what is it. Or she would have mentioned it yesterday. It is nothing more than her begging me to act quickly."

Who knew someone like Raymond could be so stubborn. He was acting like a child. Refusing to do what he knew he had to do until the last minute. Denying reality until it would have to slap him in the face for him to accept it. Her heart felt heavy for the Duke.

Tucking the newspaper under her arm, she decided to open the letter first, hopefully, the contents of what the Queen wrote were not as bad as the newspaper.

.

.

.

Nevermind.

Lilith looked up slowly at Raymond and then back down at the paper. "The Queen is instructing, and that word is used loosely, that you are to move to the castle. Immediately."

"No." He didn't even hesitate.

"'In light of your father's death and Landon's arrest, you are to leave your manor and move to the castle. Before I visited you, I had multiple news outlets be informed of your lineage and that you are the next person who will rule Creona. With your identity revealed to the public, you are bound to be in more danger, and because of that, I am having you move to the castle so that you can begin preparations for your ascension to the throne... and for your extra protection.'" Lilith read slowly.

Raymond was silent. Suddenly, a million thoughts crashed through his head at the same time. His office was quiet but his head was filled with so much noise he wondered if Lilith could hear.

A million voices started shouting in his head. Each telling him to do a different thing. Offering him tempting and useless advice.

*Runaway.

Kill yourself.

Become the King, it could not be that bad.

It is that bad, threaten them with their lives in order for your peace to be restored.

Burn down the castle.

Start a democracy.*

How could his mother do this? He clearly was not ready for this. It was all moving so fast and he could barely catch up. What was the point of revealing him to the public so early? Just because he was closer to Landon's age than Rory or Lucan does not mean that he was any more qualified.

Raymond's hands began to sweat, he unconsciously rubbed them in his pants. Labored breathing and heart palpitations were what followed next. If he were to have a stroke then he would be too ill to take up the seat of power. He would be declared too weak and then it would be passed onto his brothers.

*Selfish*. Another voice screamed.

Suddenly, his world was tilting. He felt like he was spinning, the sun came from all directions, and the books on the walls blended into streaks of color. Something was digging into his knees. Raymond shifted to the side in an attempt to get up but his body would not allow it. He was stuck to the chair. His head was malfunctioning to the point where he was unable to use the rest of his body. His eyes were squeezed shut. The noise not stopping.

*Undeserving.

Equiron. What about Equiron? Are you going to just leave it in the hands of some slimy politician?!

It's all your fault!

You have an entire country to lead and yet you are hiding in your home.

They are just children!

Coward!

There is so much to do- too much to do.

Help. HELP ME*!

"Raymond."

Silence. A million cries stopped at once with the power of one word. One voice.

He felt an unfamiliar warmth on his hands. Hands that he did not know were gripping his hair. The warmth gently pulled his hands from his scalp and enveloped them. When Raymond opened his eyes, it took a couple of seconds for them to focus. Worry. That was the first thing he noticed. Worry was evident on Lilith's face. She was kneeling in front of him, his hands in her own.

Raymond took a shaky breath. He was thoroughly shaken. He did not know what do to. Never had he experienced such a panic in his life. Was he losing his sanity?

"I need you to calm down," she said gently, bringing him back out of his thoughts. Her fingers brushed against his hand.

Raymond sniffled and Lilith released one of her hands. Immediately he missed the warmth. But she reached up and brushed her index finger against his eyelashes. A tear rolled down her finger. Raymond was thunderstruck. The last time he cried, he was probably a child. He was nearly thirty years old and he became this undone to the point of tears. Shame rose in his chest.

After Lilith brushed away the few other tears that lingered on the edges of his eyelashes, she put her back over his. Through all of this, they never broke eye contact. It was like Lilith was staring deep into his soul. Understanding every emotion he was feeling and knowing what to do to calm them down.

Raymond was not sure how long they stayed like that. His breathing had regulated a while ago, his heart was calm and the voices stayed away. But Lilith did not move, she did not even waver. She searched his eyes for anything that could tell her that he was still anxious, and once she found that he was alright, she relaxed.

She knew that it was a big risk to do something like this, but she saw that he was seconds away from a full breakdown and so she acted quickly. She did what she thought was best and in the end, it seemed to work.

Her knees pressed against the wooden floor, they were sore and she wanted to get up, but Lilith stayed put. She would leave when the Duke wanted her to. She would be here for as long as he needed her to be.

And so that was how they stayed. Lilith making sure that Raymond was still pieced together and Raymond counting the number of eyelashes she had, noticing now how thick and full they were. How her doe eyes really suited her face. How she was understandably compared to a Goddess.