Chapter 37 - This Again?

It was relatively easy to find someone to test Raymond's food for him. When she left his office, she spent a couple of seconds in the hallway trying to calm her emotions down. Raymond said it was a joke. He meant it as a joke. So then why did she feel so bad?

"Whatever, it's not even important anyway." Trying to dismiss her feelings, she left his quarters and when she was wandering around the castle to find someone to ask, she came across a group of maids. They were all of different ages. Older and younger than her. Upon seeing Lilith approach them, their voices died out.

"Hello, my name is Lilith, I'm-"

"The personal servant of the King." The oldest one, that looked to be in her thirties, finished her sentence. She looked at Lilith with pure curiosity. As if wondering why she would be talking to them.

Lilith nodded gently. "Yes, yes I am. I uh- I was wondering if there was like someone around here who usually tests the food of the King."

"Tests the food?" The second oldest chimed in.

"Yes, to see if it's poisoned. I pointed it out to His Majesty and he wanted me to find someone to do it for him."

"I'll do it." The oldest said, pushing herself in front of the other girls.

"No, I will do it." The youngest, who was probably no more than sixteen, pulled back the older girl, making herself stick out.

That began the little squabble between the girls on who would go and taste Raymond's food. Lilith just stood there as the four girls gave their reasons as to why they should do it. It would have been funny if Lilith's mood had not been ruined.

"Ok, ok, I have a solution." She stuck out her hand to stop them from tearing each other apart.

"What?" the third oldest, who was around her age, asked.

"Guess the number I'm thinking in my head. Whoever gets closest to it will go." It was weird to have a bunch of people fighting over to see who would get to test food to see if it was poisoned, but hey, once they got to lay their eyes on Raymond, dying was worth it.

"Nineteen."

"Forty-five."

"Ten."

"Eleven"

They all shouted at once.

"Twenty-three," Lilith said a little awkwardly.

The youngest was the one who guessed nineteen and so she was able to follow Lilith to Raymond's office. But, when they got there, he was already halfway done with his food.

"Your Majesty." Lilith left the servant at the door and walked to his side. "What are you doing?"

"Well," he cleared his throat. "You were taking a while and I decided that I would much prefer to eat this and suffer the consequences than have someone else do it for me."

Lilith turned back to the young girl and saw that she had stars in her eyes as she was looking at Raymond, it seemed like she was not even present in the conversation they were having. Raymond only noticed the servant girl after Lilith looked back and he once again felt bad for what he said to her. He wanted to say something to her but he did not know what.

After that, Lilith walked the girl back to her friends and apologized for wasting their time. The servant was still too enchanted to care. When she returned to Raymond, she was quiet and spent the rest of the day without saying a word.

Had he thought about her like that in the past and was now joking about it? It definitely would not have been something he joked about if he had not had the thought before. Did he just think of her as some poor soul who he pitied? Did he even take her seriously?

Raymond was at a loss. He felt confused and conflicted. It was different from the way he felt when he was at a block with his work. This one tugged at his heart. It prevented him from focusing for more than five minutes and always had him finding Lilith with his eyes. He wondered what she was thinking. He wondered if he really wounded her deeply. Every time he thought back to the encounter he would kick himself after realizing what he sounded like. His stomach would twist at the expression that was seared into his brain.

Instead of striking up a conversation with him or making comments about what she would see in his papers, Lilith did not say anything. This was what he usually preferred, he did not like when people talked to him. He especially hated when servants talked to him. They should know their place and not try to interact with him. But with Lilith he wanted her to talk. He wanted her to strike up a conversation with him and make comments about his work. He wanted her to take interest in him.

"Lilith."

It was the end of the day and they were both walking through the empty halls in silence. She was always a couple of steps behind him and Raymond looked down to see her shadow.

"Yes, Your Majesty?"

Raymond stopped and looked back at her, his hands were behind his back and his posture was that of a King. Straight and intimidating. He looked strong. Unbreakable. Lilith almost smiled. Almost.

"Have you... settled in well?" He racked his brain for something to say. He was just wanted her to talk to him. To look at him.

"Yes, I have."

The air around them was awkward and Lilith hated it. She felt bad for ruining the mood with her emotions. All she wanted to do was go back to her smiley happy self, talking with Raymond about everything and nothing. But she just could not. Her doubts were too strong and they were pulling her down, telling her all the wrong things.

"Have you eaten for the day?"

"Oh, I ate breakfast."

"That's it." Raymond's eyebrows shot up.

"I was going to eat dinner soon."

"Is this usually what you do? I know that you spend some lunches with me but I never thought..."

"No, no Your Majesty, I would eat after." She waved her hands a bit.

"So you're going to eat now then?"

Lilith nodded. "Yes, after you retired to your room I would have found something for myself to eat."

An idea popped into Raymond's head. He turned away and pursed his lips. "Well then let's go."

Lilith nodded, "Sure."

"I meant to get you your dinner. I am curious about what you eat."

Lilith was taken back. "It's quite alright. It's late and you should get to bed."

"I said I wanted to see what you eat." His tone was serious and Lilith did not have the energy to try and reason with him so she just nodded.

It was late in the night. Probably around nine o'clock. Lilith wanted him to get to bed early because it was rare that he slept so early. She should have just said that she was not hungry.

Since it was Lilith's first time doing this in the castle, she looked for Mrs. Potts so that she could get an idea of what she can and cannot do. Lilith was sure that a servant could not just go and take what they wanted from the kitchen. And when she found Mrs. Potts, she was told that at six o'clock the servants would go and collect the food that they were supposed to eat and so she could not have food until breakfast was served in the morning.

"That won't do." The King spoke up. "Since Lilith is with me until late and sometimes she is unable to get away, I think that she should be able to get the food when she is ready. But for now, do you mind preparing something for her to eat Mrs. Potts?"

The older woman smiled. "Of course not."

Lilith shook her hands. "I'm not even that hungry. It's fine."

"No," he stopped Lilith. "Mrs. Potts, please."

After ten minutes Lilith and Raymond were back in his office. There was a circular desk with two chairs off to the side of the room. It was in front of large glass windows but the curtains were pulled. She was given some simple chicken sandwiches. Mrs. Potts's food was absolute heaven and seeing as Lilith was too hungry to think properly, she knew the food would hit the spot. Everything would be perfect if not for Raymond who was sitting across from her, not looking away for a second.

She tried to ignore him and focus on her food, but he raised his hand gently and touched her arm. Lilith looked up.

"What if it's poisoned or something?" he whispered to her.

Lilith's brain short-circuited. Oh. That's what he was getting at. Something completely out of character for Raymond. Of course, she did not guess it. He was trying to apologize for what he did. And instead of something direct, he took the creative route. Her heart thumped a bit harder.

"Mrs. Potts was the one to cook this." Lilith followed.

"Let me taste it and then we can wait a while to see what happens," Raymond said.

She cracked and finally smiled. Lilith laughed a bit. All the weight on Raymond's shoulders immediately lifted and he let out a soundless sigh. He smiled a bit at Lilith's smile.

"If it's really poisoned I'm not going to let you eat it." She picked up one of the sandwiches and brought it to her lips but Raymond took it from her and in one swift movement, he took a bite of it.

"I just wanted to taste your food."

Lilith's heart thumped even harder in her chest. If Raymond acted like he did with her to everyone, she was sure that his fans would only increase. But Lilith didn't want that. He acted like this with her and that was how she wanted it to be. Only with her.