Chapter 30 - Empty Questions

Raymond definitely did not see that one coming. He took a second to gather his words before he spoke. "I have no interest in forming romantic relations with anyone. And now, that matters even less as eventually I will need to find someone suitable to have heirs with."

His tone had its usual seriousness to it, but she swore there was a bit of sadness mixed in. Raymond did not want any of this. And he'll never know that it's all Lilith's fault.

"I'm sorry," she said gently.

"Why are you apologizing?" he set down his utensils gently.

"I just... feel bad. None of this should have happened but it did, and you have to change your entire life because of it."

Raymond saw that Lilith genuinely meant what she said. She felt his pain and understood him. Unlike all the other people who worked with him who offered him forced encouragement and always had something behind their words. Lilith was someone who had no hidden intentions.

Wanting to change the subject to get rid of the solemn mood in the room, Lilith looked around for the target of their next topic. Resting on the corner of his desk, Raymond had a book, and this time it was not the Shakespear book. Smiling, she leaned a bit closer to it to try and read the title.

"That book," She pointed to the corner. "I've never seen it before, what's it about?"

Truth be told, Raymond had picked a new book from his room because he wanted to see if Lilith would comment on it. Although he found solace in reading Shakespear, he suddenly had the urge to switch it up, and so he did, and she noticed.

Raymond picked up the book and simply handed it to her. "It is called, 'Sense and Sensibility'."

Keep it together Lilith. "What's it about?"

Raymond explained the book to her. He was calm and detailed in his explanation and Lilith listened to his every word. The fact that she was holding a first edition Jane Austen book flew out of her head. It was the most Raymond had ever said to her, and she was never letting this moment go. The more he explained it the more she could see the little bits of emotion he expressed when telling her about a part of the story he liked. Lilith asked questions already knowing the answers to them. And he told her everything she wanted to know.

Raymond had long finished his lunch but they still sat and chatted. It was peaceful. He had not had such a pleasant conversation in a while. He knew Lilith liked books and so he knew talking with her about them would be enjoyable. The more she smiled and laughed, engaging him with more inquiries, the more it made him wish that the book was longer.

"I can't believe I never came across that book while I was cleaning. Truth be told I do get distracted from cleaning because of the books I come across," she said lightly.

"I am more than aware," Raymond told her. On numerous occasions, he would have to leave the manor to attend to some business, and sometimes he would not have Lilith accompany him. When he returned, he would enter his office to see Lilith standing in front of the shelves with her face buried in a book and her other hand weakly dusting over the others.

At the sudden realization that she was not as inconspicuous as she thought Lilith let out a weak groan and placed her hands on her face. "You should have told me that you knew."

"Why? I'm not the one doing anything wrong."

Lilith strung together a weak argument. "Well if you did not have so many books then I would not get so distracted,"

"Pushing the blame onto me does not erase what you did."

"No but it makes me feel better," she gave him a playful pout and shifted her attention to the book in her hands.

Raymond's mouth twitched a bit and he quickly pursed his lips to get rid of any trace of a smile. He was grateful Lilith looked down at that moment.

"Have you read any other books from this author." She waved the book in her hands before placing it back down on the table.

"I have read a couple of her other works as well, yes," he replied.

"Is there a favorite of yours?"

"Are you familiar with Jane Austen?"

The more appropriate question is, 'who isn't?'. "I heard the name but no, not really,"

"Well, she has another book, titled, 'Pride and Prejudice'-"

KEEP IT TOGETHER LILITH.

"-that I think is a rather nice story."

Hours passed and two did not even know it. Their tones were soft and when Lilith let out the occasional laugh Raymond would have to make sure he was not smiling along with her. Contrary to the usual way things go, Raymond was the one who spoke the most, it felt weird but it was also refreshing.

The evening was warm and when they finally came out of their little bubble, Raymond had to suddenly switch gears to try to do as much work as he could as fast as he could and Lilith left feeling horrible for asking a million and one empty questions.

In the days following their conversation, Lilith began to see Raymond differently. Not a huge difference but she definitely caught herself looking for longer than she should have and wishing that he looked at her for more than a couple of seconds. It seemed that she could only have his undivided attention when they were talking about books.

With that realization, came the horrid feeling of shame. All of his life Raymond had to deal with people constantly liking him and not being able to have a proper connection with anyone around his age because of it. And here Lilith was, thinking of him in ways that she should not. Just because they talked and laughed a bit, does not mean it meant anything to him. And it should not mean anything to her.

Besides that, her feelings would be a distraction from her goal. She knew that nothing small like this would last for fifteen years, but she still needed her head to be clear for the entire time. And Lilith could make foolish mistakes if she were to try and act on her emotions.

So, she swallowed down anything she may be feeling and acted normal. It wasn't like she was in love with him or had some sort of a crush on him. But Raymond seemed to become twice as attractive as he was in the past. Lilith could not disappoint the servants with her feelings and she was not going to lose the closest thing she had to a home as well as to a friend.

"What do you think he's like... as a lover?"

The sentence snapped Lilith out of her thoughts as she walked around the house looking for something to do. She was in the hallway on the second floor, there was a wide window on her left and a doorway half a foot in front of her on the right. The voices came from that room.

"I'm sure Raymond Cavill is passionate. Dominant. The scary quiet type. Surely he would make his lover fall for him over and over again." A second voice said.

Lilith could not help but roll her eyes. How many times would she have to hear things like this? She leaned against the wall and listened, crossing her arms.

"I just know that he would be so gentle when he is being romantic but so fierce when the time for intimacy came. How lucky we got to come from the castle to witness such a man. And in his home no less." The first voice spoke again.

"A shame we can't go to the third floor." A third girl imputed.

"If we were allowed on the third floor then no one would get work done. I know all the other servants would make passing his office something they did whenever they moved around the house." The second one said.

"If only he didn't have that servant girl following him around all the time. She gets to have him all to herself." The third girl sighed. "Oh, the wife I would be for someone like him."

Lilith contained a laugh and pushed herself off the wall, ready to turn around and go in a different direction. But as she did, she slammed right into someone. Surprised, Lilith let out a little noise as she stumbled back, gripping her nose as pain shot through it making her eyes water.

"Oh, fuck... ow..." Lilith mumbled, gently massaging her nose.

Raymond raised an eyebrow at her language and waited for her to look up at him. He had only come down to see where she went and instead found her listening to a rather unpleasant conversation between three servants who were sent from the castle. He would surely deal with them later, but first...

"Are you alright?" he asked her.

Whipping her head up, Lilith stared at Raymond as if he caught her stealing from him; wide-eyed and mouth agape. "Mr. Cavill." Her tone was breathless and filled with shock as she stood straighter.

The Duke pressed his lips together in order to conceal to upturning of his mouth. Though the reason he came to find Lilith was a serious one he could not help but be amused at the way she was looking at him.

She glanced back at the room briefly. "To what do I owe the pleasure of bumping into you in the hallway?"