Chapter 41 - Deja Vu

Now that was definitely not what Lilith was expecting to hear next. Her silence seemed to encourage the King to take another step towards her. What has gotten into him? Lilith's throat closed up. She could not tell him the truth because she did not know that truth herself. Did she like Raymond? She knew that she felt something for him but it could only be physical attraction.

Taking a step back in an attempt to gather more time for her to gather her thoughts, Lilith stared at Raymond with an unreadable expression. Of course, a part of it was dumb shock but there was more to it. Something she did not fully understand herself. It seemed like Lilith didn't know much these days. But what she did know, was with each step Raymond took, her heart sped up a little.

"Do you like me, Lilith?" he asked once more.

She cleared her throat, taking a breath. "I do not Your Majesty."

What would Raymond have done if she said yes? What exactly was he hoping to gain here? Why the sudden interest? She found him attractive just like every other person he came across. But with her... was he hoping for something more?

"Are you sure?" Another step.

"I am." They were mere inches away from each other. Lilith was too small next to Raymond and she stood with the top of her head coming up to his nose. She had to crane her next a bit to look up at him and he looked down at her just the same. Lilith's words hung in the air and Raymond absorbed them, searching her eyes for a different story as he did.

Without a word, he turned back around and went back to work as if nothing had happened. If Raymond suspected that she liked him then she would be fired like the rest of his previous servants. That was not something Lilith wanted to happen. Whatever she was feeling for the King needed to be snuffed out. And fast. He could only have asked that if she was not as subtle as she thought she was. But as far as she knew, her actions had not done anything to suggest anything.

From then on, Lilith got a bit flustered every time she was around Raymond. But she could not say the same for him. He carried on like it was every other day and it really annoyed Lilith. Why would he put that thought in her head? Now she was going to overthink things and complicate her life.

Raymond was now unaware of the way Lilith acted around him. But how could he blame her? He came onto her, asking if she had feelings for him. He never had to do that in his life since in the past all the emotions were laid out before him whether he wanted them or not.

He noticed the way she would flush every time they got too close and how she also tended to keep a larger distance between them. Lilith thought of them as friends. Raymond thought of her as one also. But his simple curiosity- with unwanted underlying intentions, had caused there to be a rift between them. In the past when he had done something to upset her, he apologized in his own way and they moved past that. But he was not sure what to do about this. How would he go about trying to get them back to normal?

Could Lilith's behavior have changed because he was close to the truth? Could she really like him? And if so, he needed to know. No matter if he was deluding himself or not. Raymond needed to know the truth. He needed it spoken to his face. Only then will he be able to move on from this.

The meetings continue and this time, Lilith is not present for any of them. Raymond realized that maybe using her was not the best thing he should have done. But after he saw how the first couple of women acted around Lilith, he needed to test them in some way. Even if he never planned to take them. But now that he was even more against taking one of the women, Lilith was not needed.

After every meeting, Raymond would tell Lilith about them. She appreciated that he wanted to talk to her and so she would sit and listen eagerly. Lilith hoped that something interesting would have happened but it was all the same, so the excitement quickly died out. There was a strange sense of confidence that Lilith had in knowing that Raymond was not going to choose one of those women. And it made her feel bad. She should not have hope for the impossible.

One day, while he was gracing her with a tale all too identical to the rest, Nora walked in. They were both seated at the table off to the side of the office, in front of the large windows overlooking the backlands of the castle. People shuffled by below, working without notice to the eyes above them.

"Queen Mother." Lilith's heart jumped as she stood quickly to greet her.

Nora barely spared her a glance and her gaze sharpened on Raymond. "Is there any progress?"

The King calmly stood up from the chair, eyebrows scrunched slightly. "On?"

But as soon as he said that he knew what his mother was talking about. And it was too late to stop her from saying it.

"The woman you are interested in."

Lilith failed to swallow down the cough that suddenly ripped through her throat and she immediately looked away before she met gazes with Raymond's mother. Her stomach twisted and something cold and then hot passed over her. Raymond had someone he was interested in. How long has this been going on? Was there always someone? Was that why he never took on any of the women who presented themselves to him?

Who. Is. She?

Glancing back at Lilith for a split second, Raymond spoke. "I am not in the mood to speak about this."

Nora took a threatening step towards him. "I do not care about your mood, boy." She held up a finger to him. "I am running out of patience. I am trying to give you a chance. Hurry up or I will choose for you. Understand."

Before he could answer, she turned and left. She was gone as suddenly as she appeared. Her threat hung in the air and made the room feel a lot stuffier. It took a bit for Lilith to be able to take full breaths and she stood tall once more. Raymond faced the complete opposite direction and she could see his tensed shoulders.

All this time Raymond had someone. Who would have thought?

"Your Majesty..." she called gently. "If there is a woman who has your heart then why are you not meeting with her?"

At her words, Raymond clenched his fists. He didn't even know how he was feeling fully. Did this woman truly have his heart? Certainly not since he couldn't imagine her accepting it.

"They are nothing but a passing feeling. Nothing more. Nothing shall surely spark from it." He waved his hand dismissively and turned to her.

Lilith smiled. "You may say that but you do not know how things will play out. If you like her, why not try your hand. I mean, who could say no to a King?"

He let out a laugh but it was far from humorous. It was bitter. "Really? Is that what you think?"

Lilith approached him. "Just be honest with her. Don't pass up this just because you're not sure about your emotions. Be honest with her. Every woman in this country would be more than happy to be on the receiving end of feelings from you."

Absorbing what she said for a moment, the King took a step forward. That single action seemed to change the mood of the room in an instant. The expression on Raymond's face made Lilith shiver. It was hard, concentrated, and a bit scary. Lilith stayed rooted in her place until he was a step away from her.

"Your Majesty?" she called cautiously.

Raymond closed the gap between them but almost instantly Lilith moved back. One step forward, one step back. That was how it was until Lilith could not go back anymore and she had successfully cornered herself. Her back was pressed on the edge of a bookshelf and the small section of the wall that was about half a foot long before the window started. Lilith wondered if they could be seen from outside, even if Raymond's body was all they could be able to see

He was so close. Too close.

"Do you like me, Lilith?"

Deja Vu.