Chapter 47: Roxanne

To wake up alone after what I gave him the night before was devastating. To hear the dragon's explanation more so. I want his love so badly my chest constricts and I have trouble breathing. Gaining that love will cause him additional suffering and I cannot allow that to happen.
I rest in his arms, the blue glow fading slowly. My hand is on his chest and my fingers draw small circles around the small pucker at the tip of his breast. I've seen my share of human male chests. Nothing compares to my dragon.
"May we fly this morning, dragon?" I'm tired from lack of sleep and I don't want him returning me to my room if I nod off.
"If my bride wishes to fly, we will fly."
"I'm sorry for the halberd."
He laughs which reassures me that he isn't angry. "I will teach you to use it properly and you will have better aim next time."
I smile with a shyness I've never felt. "You know I don't want better aim when it comes to lopping off one of your body parts."
"That's good to hear." He gives me a tender hug. "I had a back sheath made for the halberd and I want to see if it works or needs adjustments. Flying is the perfect way to test it." He slaps me on my bottom and I yelp in surprise. "Come, bride, we have a full day ahead and I will want you again if we stay in bed."
I'm okay with his having me again, until I move. I'm sore and try not to wince. My face heats thinking of what caused it.
He notices my discomfort. "I have a saddle that will keep your tender areas protected if you wish it."
I shake my head as my face grows even hotter. "Never. I like the feel of you." Between my thighs is what I don't say, but that sparkle appears in his eyes and I know he knows.
He turns his naked back. Satisfaction rolls through me when I see the furrows caused by my nails trailing down his back. He marks me and I mark him. He's mine and I feel quite possessive.
I quickly dress. He adjusts the straps to hold the sheath against my back. I will need to practice releasing the strip of cloth that holds the upper part and drawing the halberd in one move. Another day. This day, I wish to spend time with my dragon and learn more about him. So many questions I didn't have the courage to ask because they were of a sexual nature.
We stand at the edge of the perch and I jump on his back while he's in human form. With his powerful legs, he launches himself into the air. His shift occurs so fast but I now know what's happening. I pull my knees beneath me and slide down slightly to accommodate the large back and long neck of his dragon form.
This is him in all his undeniable glory. I have a moment of envy for Acasia. What must it be like to fly beside her dragon? Feel the wind beneath her wings and swoop through the sky without a care. Riding my dragon is close; I would just like to feel, for one moment, what Laryn experiences as the fiercest predator in the sky.
"Hold on," he says into my mind. That's another thing we need to discuss. This mind talking thing drives me crazy.
He shoots upward and I stop thinking about anything other than holding on. I tighten my thighs while digging my hands into the slight indents where his wings meet his back. They are perfect for holding. Of course he turns completely upside down and I lose my seat. He laughs in my head as he flies underneath me and I slam onto his back.
There is pain between my thighs at the impact and my teeth rattle. It doesn't matter because the thrill of this feat cannot be contained. I need more practice and encourage him. "Again, dragon. Give me a little more time to prepare for you."
"If my bride wants to go again, we shall."
Again, and again, and again. By the time I'm trembling with exhaustion, I can tuck into a tight ball, flip, and land on my feet, locking them into the same wing handholds that I use when we fly normally. Learning to bend my knees and find my balance during sword play has given me the ability to do this. My dragon is magnificent in... well... everything.
He slows down as we travel through hills and valleys of his kingdom. "Will you speak of your other brides, dragon?" A long silence fills our pleasant day.
His voice is soft when he finally speaks into my mind. "Each one is unique. Some I have enjoyed more than others. I learn from each of them. I have been gifted with incredible brides."
I shouldn't feel jealous of women who lived long before me. I do, though, and I know I must shake it off. "Is there one who stands out in your memory-the last perhaps?" He remains silent again and I feel bad. "I understand if it hurts to remember her. I know she's not been gone as long as the others."
"It isn't that..." His sigh fills my head. "She probably taught me the most about women. Not that I took all the lessons to heart as you can attest to. She was gentle and giving. She loved me deeply."
And he loved her. I can hear it in his voice. My soul feels his anguish, and more than anything I want to comfort him.
I thought he was finished speaking when he goes on. "I should have died with her."
I caress my hand along his scales before hugging his neck as hard as I can. "Never say that, dragon. If she was giving, she would want you to live."
"You don't understand, bride."
I'm suddenly afraid and maybe it's best that I don't understand. It's not what he needs, though. "Tell me of this bride, dragon. Explain to me why I should miss out on someone as special as you."
I've laid it on thick and I get a bit of fire with his laugh. "As you wish, bride."
He remains quiet for a long time. I give him room to sort his thoughts. "She hated me for years," was the first thing he said. "I took her to bed on the day of claiming and I'm not sure she ever forgave me. We still had many good years, but many wasted too. The brides don't understand those years between one dying and choosing the next. We go a little insane. The three years before I claimed you were actually the worst. Time stands still when usually it goes so fast that we choose a bride and the next day she dies."
My dragon grows quiet again. I feel the pain in his words and I continue petting him.
"Maleah was her name. It matched her soft sweetness. When she increased in age, a strange illness made it painful for her to do so much. At first it was bearable, but as the years went on she could no longer fly on my back or even stay upright for long periods. She finally asked me to end her life. I told her no."
Oh my precious dragon.
"I woke one night and she'd thrown herself from a perch."
He couldn't see my tears. I could do nothing but hug him.
"I vowed to never return to a claiming. The years of loneliness start eating at you. I finally knew I could not stay away. Our brides are not just sexual partners, they're companions. When a bride's body is old and frail, unable to perform sexually, it matters not. Friendship fills all voids and a dragon is satisfied. The terrible part is knowing our time is limited once it reaches that point. I flew to your claiming vowing to never love again. Forgive me, bride, for it is you who will suffer the most. Please. Just... be my friend."
How could I not love my dragon?