Chapter 78: One week before claiming: Sierra

I'm holding my father and Talya's newborn baby. She's incredible. I love her smell, her softness, and her little wrinkles of baby fat that make me want to pinch her. I've smiled more in the past few days than during the past twenty-four years.
Life goes on and this birth proves it. My father has nine children. My siblings all came for the birth and brought their mates, even Roland.
Derrick is perfect for my brother. It took seven years for my brother to find him. Roland told me he saw Derrick across a room and he knew instantly. It was so bittersweet for me, though I was incredibly happy for him. They live with the Northeast Clan where Derrick comes from. They tell me stories of Nicolas, a fellow wolf, and his pack-cats and wolves much like my father's mixed pack. My brother is deliriously happy and I'm happy for him.
I've written the clan history and gathered information from anyone willing to speak to me. Some of the stories from the female cats have been hard to listen to. It's important that their life is written about and mistakes of the past are not repeated. I even wrote my own history before Sarn. I never told Sarn that the friend who I gave my virginity to was vampire. Or that I broke his heart. Writing the beastkind history texts has given me a reason to wake up each morning. The child in my arms gives me another.
"Are you going to let anyone else hold her?" Roland asks as he gives my shoulder a very slight bump.
I reluctantly hand over the small bundle. I'm on edge as is my wolf. I haven't mentioned to anyone that the day I've dreaded for years is approaching. I know they've forgotten I'm even mated. I never speak of Sarn. It's as if he never existed. He's buried away deep in my soul and only I know he's there. The claiming is imminent and I want to think he'll be happy for years to come.
And it kills me.
I need to run and let my wolf free. I head outside and remove my clothing. Since Sarn left me, my shift is painful. I've never told anyone. I know the reason-while missing my other half; my wolf can't truly take over. She rebels when I call her. My father never mentioned this happening to him after my mother died, so I think it's only me.
Me with my fucked up half-life.
"Oh, dragon, please find happiness," I whisper into the quiet night sky. Maybe the sky hears because a misty rain begins to fall. I pull in the magic and shift. Tonight the pain is greater than ever before. In my wolf form, I sink to the ground and catch my breath. At last I'm able to stand. Then I run.
I know every path, every body of water, every swamp. This is my territory too. I crave this wild run like no other. Somehow I need to survive the next five days and then the next five-hundred years. As I have many times before, I wish I aged. Years ago, I tried denying our clan's liege vampire my blood. My father and brother wouldn't allow it. They threatened to hold me down, so I gave in. It left me bitter for a long time.
After my mother's death, my father ran from the support of his clan and left behind his children. I wonder how he found the will to accept a vampire's gift and not take his own life. Without the people who love me, I would have let all my suffering end.
An alligator snaps at my feet as I leap over him. He's always near the same spot and I actually enjoy antagonizing him. I smile slightly inside my wolf's head. Then I run until my sides heave and my legs ache. I know sleep will evade me tonight like it does most nights. Maybe I will get lucky and this run will give me peace for a few hours.
I shift a short distance from home and continue on two legs with a still-heavy heart. I must plaster a smile on my face so the joy of this new birth is not overshadowed by my sadness. I near the clearing in front of the house and scent something I never expected to smell again.
Dragon.
I start running and tear inside the front door. My mind is a jumbled knot of endless longing. I hit my father's back because I can't stop fast enough. I'm shaking and I wonder if this is a dream. My father turns and steadies me before he moves aside.
It's a woman. She's dressed in some kind of outlandish, Raquel Welch, One Million Years B.C. throwback poster attire. I want to scream and cry and rage against fate. She stares at me and suddenly her brown eyes flash an iridescent blue. I know who she is.
Roxanne.
It makes no sense. An overwhelming craving for Sarn swamps me.
"I need your help," she pleads.
I'm so shaken up I can't speak.
"It's Sarn. He will not attend the claiming. He's chosen to die."
My legs fall from under me and if my father wasn't there, I'd be a crumbled mess on the floor. I've suffered so much, and Sarn cannot do this or it's all for nothing.
"You need to leave," I hear my father say as he begins carrying me from the room.
"No," I say as I start struggling. "Let me go, please" My father releases my legs and stares deep into my eyes. "I'm okay. You must allow me to speak with her." I'm not really asking. I turn to Roxanne. "What can I do?"
"You need to come with me to his lair and convince him to attend the claiming."
My knees go weak again. I remember what the witches told me and I don't tell her I will die if I go into Sarn's realm. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that Sarn survives. "When do we leave?"
She somehow knows what the witches told me. "If he attends the claiming, you can return here and be safe. Your life is only forfeit if you are in the dragon realm and Sarn refuses."
"No," my father shouts. "You are not going." He takes my arm and holds me tight.
I shake my head understanding how he must feel. I look into my father's eyes and see his fear reflected. This man who lost so much and finally found a way out of the hell of losing a mate. "I love him. I cannot live knowing he dies without me. If he refuses to go, we shall die together." I lean forward and kiss his cheek. "You cannot stop me, but you can hold me and kiss me goodbye."
My father is alpha and his power rolls over me. It doesn't press into me; it surrounds me and lightens my heart. He understands and he's giving me this gift. A sense of calm washes over me and I smile at my father.
"Thank you," I say.
"Don't do this," my brother pleads.
I look between him and Derrick. "I've never wanted anything for you but your happiness. Please grant me this."
His head drops and Derrick places his arms around my brother. My goodbyes are quick after that. Now I'm fully dressed and flying on a crazy female dragon with a death wish. She's breaking all the rules of the realm with no care that the U.S. military might shoot us down. "Hold on," she yells into my head.
A fighter plane comes out of nowhere as Roxy, as she asked me to call her, rolls to her side and takes us between two tall buildings. "We're doing this all the way to Arizona?" I question softly into her mind because her yelling has given me a headache.
She replies in a slightly softer voice. "No, there's a vortex close to here. It's where I crossed."
"I thought the only one was in Arizona."
"And we will keep it that way. Dragons must keep some secrets from Dmitri."
I laugh for the first time since she arrived.
She dives low before coming up. She at least has a saddle and I can hold on as she pulls these death-defying maneuvers. "This is going to hurt. Are you ready?"
I'm so ready. "Do I have a choice?" I ask with humor I'm not really feeling. I want Sarn and there is nothing on earth that will keep me from him.
"Bend low over my back and hold on."
We hit the realm barrier. This isn't pain; it's heart-stopping agony. I can't breathe or speak. I think I've died and then we are on the other side and I'm slumped in the saddle.
"Are you with me?" Roxy yells into my mind again. At least her loud voice brings me fully alert.
"Is there a reason we had to bust through so fast? Sarn told me it can be gently done." I'm gasping for breath and disoriented. Sarn's explanation on realms is actually only a faint memory. At one point during the two months we spent together, he spoke of bringing me to his lair. I only remembered the conversation as my oxygen-starved brain began to panic as I crossed out of earth's realm.
"The earth and dragon realms keep time in different ways. And that way changes regularly. It could be hours or days since I left. We must hurry."
Her words shake the rest of the fuzz from my brain. "Fly like the wind, dragon."