Chapter 99: Pepper

Tahr hasn't said a word since reading my note and I'm worried. I finally got tired of waiting for his response and went to my room to lie down. He followed me in a few minutes later with the rope in his hands-still silent, still running his fingers through his hair, and still as gorgeous as ever. He's dressed in tight trousers and no shirt. There's nothing about his body I don't like and in his current state of silence, pacing and making no eye contact there's nothing for me to do but scrutinize him.
None of the humans I know have muscles quite so defined. They flow under his skin and make my mouth water. Other parts of me water too but it's embarrassing. Meagan told me of such things but I didn't believe her at the time. "It's like an itch that needs scratching," she once said. Now I know it's more like an out of control fire that needs extinguishing.
Is his silence because I called him foolish? Or is it telling him of my dream? He must think I'm crazy and it's actually a good possibility. I'm unable to resist the woman's persuasive voice. An ache expands across my back and I actually feel something pushing against my skin. Wings? Yes, I'm crazy.
Tahr finally stops pacing and walks toward me. His mind is miles away as he methodically ties my foot to the bedpost without meeting my eyes. The cord is soft and he's careful that he doesn't cut off my circulation or tie it so I can't unravel the knot. It's possible the weeks in the cell did things to my mind. It's really the only explanation. Finally his gaze lifts and his expression grows even more intense.
"Sleep," he whispers.
I quickly drift off thinking of Tahr's eyes and how much silver is streaking through them.
The woman appears in my room; her beauty is almost too incredible to gaze upon-too ethereal to describe. The Pegasus is pure white, its wings made of thousands of feathers. Wind blows the woman's dark hair although she's in this windless room-riding a Pegasus-gazing down from above me.

"It's your heart that will save you, but you must believe."

The rope tugs at my leg when I try to walk to the window. The impulse is too much to fight. I slowly untie the rope, gazing out at the moons and feeling their draw. The knots give beneath my hands and that's when Tahr lifts me in his arms.
"What am I going to do with you?" he whispers as he carries me to his room and places me in his bed before crawling in beside me. I'm tired and he's so very warm. I snuggle against him and fall back to sleep. Maybe this entire night has been a dream.
***
I wake up and stretch my arms above my head. I smell the dragon on the pillow and I know I'm in his bed. The warmth inside of me that resonates when he's near is missing, so I know he's not here. I open my eyes and Betty is gazing at me from a chair beside the bed. She smiles, her eyes crinkling at the sides. Even with her reassuring grin, I'm suddenly irritated that she watched me sleep. Something is seriously wrong with me and it's causing my emotions to jump all over the place. Betty loves me and has comforted me since I was young. Meagan spent so much time with her dragon and I was often lonely. Betty entertained me, groomed me, and offered her warm arms when I needed them most. I inhale slowly and release the angst I feel.
Her hands flow as she signs an explanation for her presence. "The dragon bid me stay with you and watch over you while you sleep. He says you are in danger and he seeks help. You are not to leave my sight."
That answers the question of what upset Tahr last night. I respond rapidly. "Did he tell you of the woman on the..." Darn, I don't know how to say Pegasus with my hands. "The winged horse?" I finally ask.
Betty shakes her head, so I tell her of my dreams. She reads my hands patiently and a worried expression replaces her soft smile. It sounds ridiculous as I relay the tale. Once finished, I'm relieved that she doesn't immediately reply that I'm insane. Her expression doesn't change, though her eyes take on added determination. She's taking her guard duty seriously.
I wonder who Tahr went to for help and why he seems afraid of my dreams. I decide I need to bathe and then I'll figure out what to do about the dragon's dictate. I love Betty, but Tahr is being ridiculous. I don't need a keeper.
My irritation grows when I must lock Betty out of the bathing chamber. I explain there isn't a window and I can only get to one by walking past her. Her eyes fill with tears and I'm frustrated with the dragon all over again. And ashamed at myself for hurting her feelings. Betty finally steps back with a forlorn look. Her image stays with me while I guiltily luxuriate in the large bath. Hunger and shame make me rise from the water sooner than I'd like.
There's a large looking glass in the chamber and I wipe it free of steam and gaze at myself for a moment. I smooth my palm over my head hating its egg-like appearance. I feel ugly and always envied Meagan her beautiful hair. I imagine the dragon wrapping her long tresses around his wrist and... and.... Damn, I know so little about sex and my imagination has no reference for what actually takes place. It never stopped me from having sleepless nights with dreams of Tahr. I imagined it was me in his arms and not Meagan. I'm not a good person and I know that's why I deserved the time in the dungeons.
I slowly place the headpiece over my scalp. Because I slept in it, I have a few sore spots and wince slightly as I pull it down to rest against my ears. I'm a vain, horrible person. It matters not that I'm bald. The dragon will never look at me as more than a servant. I leave the bathing chamber wearing one of my loose gowns. The rough material reminds me of my place.
Breakfast is waiting and I insist that Betty sit down and join me. She protests, but finally gives in after I tell her I won't eat. I'm being spoiled with good food and grand accommodations that I don't deserve so the least I can do is share when the dragon isn't around. I finish my meal when I can't possibly get another bite of food in my belly and rest my fork on my plate. Betty watches me as she's only picked at her food.
I sign a question that has been bothering me. "Where is Henry?"
Betty's lips form a scowl. "He is fine, though quite scared that the same punishment he forced on you will be given to him." She rests her hands in her lap and her lips lift in a satisfied smile.
I shake my head then sign, "No. I will not allow it. Henry must not be punished."
Betty quickly responds. "You are too generous to the idiot. He deserves a very bad punishment for what he did to you."
I decide I must be truthful so she no longer blames Henry. "I went into the dragon's bedroom while he slept and touched him. He had a right to be angry and I deserved the punishment. This is not Henry's fault, it's mine."
Betty's eyes grow wide in horror and her hand movements are sharp. "Why would you do such a thing?"
I exhale slowly and shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. Meagan wanted me to watch over him after she died, though that is no excuse. I'm drawn to him for some odd reason."
Betty stands so she can lecture me with more than a wave or two of her hands. "We are human and only here to serve the dragon. It is dangerous for you to have any notions that you mean something more to him." She shakes one finger at me to add emphasis then starts back and continues her sharp motions. "You have romanticized the dragon for far too long. We are nothing in this world. He stays young as we grow old. Dragons love dragons, which means they love themselves only. He has no heart. Even Meagan was but a passing fancy. You will be alive when he claims a new bride and you will see what he does to her. Feel her terror that she is taken from all she's known and is at the dragon's mercy. Your feelings for him will change when you see what a monster he truly is."
Was she right? Have I romanticized Tahr because I see him as a hero who cared for Meagan? I stand and begin pacing while signing my response. "I watched him for years with Meagan. He loved her. She explained the curse to me and spoke of the dragon's suffering." My anguish builds. "You forget that they bring us to this realm to save us."
"No," Betty signs as she shakes her head emphatically. "They bring the children across so they have servants... slaves. They care nothing for us as long as their lives are comfortable. Even after he ordered you punished and you almost die, he sees you only as a servant. Maybe a plaything for a short while, but it won't last. His generosity won't last. You weren't around when the purple dragon burnt his friend's bride to a crisp, I was. They are wicked creatures and they only think of their brides as treasured possessions. You must be careful. No more tantrums and your infatuation must cease."
I hate that she is afraid. She did not see Tahr through Meagan's eyes. I can't just stop these feelings I have. The dragon has been my prince for too long. Shame washes over me. In one thing, Betty is correct. The dragon does think of me as a plaything. I'm occupying his time and that could very soon come to an end.
I help her clear the table over her objections. I don't want her waiting on me. I settle on the sofa afterward and Betty takes the chair across from me.
"What does everyone think about what's happened? They gave me small, insincere smiles when I went to the tower."
Betty's gentle smile is back. "They worry for you, Pepper. None had the relationship you had with Meagan. She spoiled you. Some may feel a bit of jealousy, but they want the dragon happy. If he's content, so is their life."
I think on her words and remain quiet for a long time. I give a silent sigh. "You cannot just stare at me all day," I tell her. "Grab a book and read. I can't believe how tired I still am, but I promise to stay awake. We will watch over each other."
She nods, walks into the library, and comes back with a book. I pick up the one from the table that I was reading the day before. In a short time, my eyes grow heavy and I blink. The woman is here. I don't think I'm asleep this time. I turn to Betty. Her chin is resting on her chest and her eyes are closed.
"It is time. You must trust your heart," the woman whispers into my mind. She smiles at me with gentle encouragement. I stand and make my way to the ledge.
I'm not afraid.