Chapter 60: Sierra

That didn't go well at all. Not that I really expected it to. Hell, the man is stubborn. I've watched him for a year now. Watched him drink himself into a stupor for at least two-thirds of each day. He paid Dmitri a mountain of gold to stay at the club or the vampire would have booted him out months ago. Roland, my twin brother, isn't happy that a dragon shifter has been under the same roof as me. Not that my brother spends too much time being happy. The only person grumpier than him is Sarn.
It doesn't help that the damn dragon shifter is the most gorgeous man I've ever laid eyes on. Even with pasty, white, detoxifying skin, he's beautiful. His shaggy head of dark blonde hair needs washing and cutting. I'd give anything to run my fingers through the strands and do both jobs. More so, I want to sink into his odd-colored eyes. The pupils turn amethyst when he's angry or aroused, as I just discovered. The violet hue does strange things deep inside me.
I shake my head because now I'm lying to myself. He affects me right between my thighs in my sex. A burning ache of need builds whenever he's around. My inner wolf grows erratic and I worry if I let her rule, I'd have Sarn on his back with me straddling his cock within a minute of entering a room with him.
Dmitri was almost at the end of his hospitality regardless of Sarn's gold, so I broached the subject of drying out the angry dragon shifter against his will. I think one year is long enough to be angry at the universe. I know little about the dragons and their world. I only learned of their existence when I came to work early one morning with my brother.
We are both past the age of sexual consent for beastkind. We need mates, but the elusive magic that chooses our life partner hasn't materialized. We came to Dmitri's territory because we were restless and needed change. The nightclub was the perfect escape. My father, Ivan, wasn't exactly delighted, but he knew where one of us went, the other followed. More times than not, it's me pulling my brother from some scrape or another. I was a hellion as a child, but when I reached twenty-one, something in me settled. Not that our parents noticed. Roland is the golden child and can do no wrong in their eyes. I alone know his secret and when the time is right, Roland will tell our extended family.
Most shifters only have one clan, but Roland and I were raised in our early childhood by Marcus and Amy, the liege vampires of the Southwest Clan. Then we went to live with our father when he finally found another mate and settled down. I don't remember my mother, though her death destroyed my father and he left us for years while he grieved. The mating bond is devastating when one half of a pair dies. I might not understand how our father could leave us for that long, but I don't hold a grudge. With my past, I think that's why I have so much sympathy for the dragon. In my mind, he needs to find something to live for. Not that I think I'm it, but he needs distraction from his pain and I may be able to help with that.
Roland and I have two clans, and now we work at the nightclub alongside a third clan. We seem to fit in. Well, as much as any outsider can fit in with a bunch of reticent bears. Honey, a bear shifter, and his mate, Mandy, who is a wolf shifter, have been visiting her family, so she hasn't been around during the past few months. With her absence, I've grown companionable with Dmitri's mate, Nikka. She's mute and I can't mind-share with her because I'm not a member of her clan, but that never stops us from communicating. I remain in wolf form and head to her home now. I need a sounding board.
Vampires are unable to produce children, so Nikka, a cat shifter, mothers the entire clan. She's amazing and I've seen her get between two fighting bears three times her size and put them in their place. She bows to no one and she is also the last person you want to be on the outs with. For such a gentle woman, she is fierce when push comes to shove.
I shift to human and enter her home naked. Nikka doesn't mind me walking around without clothes, but Dmitri has rules. I head to the clothing cabinet and take out a set of unappealing sweats that look like they'll do. As a wolf shifter, I'm smaller than most of the bears, so the clothes are baggy. I don't care how they fit as long as I follow Dmitri's ridiculous house rules. I roll my eyes when I pull the hem of the shirt over my head. Vampires are strange when it comes to nudity. Unlike shifters they aren't as comfortable seeing everyone naked. In a shifter home, nakedness is more the rule. When a beastkind child is young, it's impossible to keep clothing on them. They shift back and forth between their human and beast form rapidly so parents don't bother. And though Nikka is shifter, she gives into her husband on this point. I glance up and Nikka is gazing at me with a knowing smile. I have no doubt she knows my every thought on the subject.
"You can tell him I obeyed his rules," I say and watch her grin widen. "I need an ear so I can whine a bit and get a few things off my chest."
Her smile disappears. She turns and walks to the large sectional couch, sits down, and pats the space beside her. I sit then swing my butt around so I face her. I pull my knees in and wrap my arms around them. It isn't very ladylike, which suits me just fine. I've never considered myself a proper, boring lady anyway.
Nikka waits patiently for me to start talking. I take a breath and let the entire story out. "I'm enthralled with the dragon shifter. I have no idea why. Dmitri told me of their bride claiming nonsense." I hold up my hand when she shakes her head. "I know they have no choice and I know it's some type of curse. I have sympathy for his loss but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. When he's near, I can't take my eyes off him. He is nothing but a big, bad, ball of heartache and it makes no difference to my wolf at all. She wants to lay her claws into his back as I ride his cock." I drop my arm and feel utterly defeated.
Nikka takes my hand and gazes intently into my eyes. I feel her understanding.
"I know I can just fuck him and get him out of my system. It's not like I haven't had a little experience with the opposite sex. I've just never felt quite this way." Nikka shakes her head slowly. "No, it's not the mating bond. It's something different. I've scented mated pairs and this isn't about mating. Thank the Goddess for small favors." A slight giggle escapes me and I continue. "I know the dragon will leave eventually. I also know there is a mate out there somewhere waiting for him and that woman isn't me." Nikka squeezes my hand and I look away as I speak again. "He has twenty-four years until the claiming. There is something deep inside me that wants to make him happy until he chooses his next bride even when I know it will kill a part of me when he does."
I don't realize I'm crying until Nikka pulls me against her soft chest and soothes my back. I rarely cry and I have no idea what's wrong with me. Loneliness maybe. Even in the close-knit shifter community, I feel alone. My brother is the only one who ever sees my tears. He comforts me much like Nikka is doing now. But he has his own problems and even though I know they are of his own making, he's been the one in need of a shoulder lately.
Roland is gay. He'll barely admit it to himself and refuses to speak to me of it. Our parents will still love him, he just doesn't understand that. He's also a fierce warrior. Who he loves makes no difference when it comes to protecting the clans. He won't talk to me even though we shared the same womb and he is a part of my soul. Most days I just want to slap him for being so stupid. And I've taken on an angry dragon shifter who needs more than a slap upside the head. Even if everything works out and we connect in bed and out of it, twenty-four years from now, he will go to another woman.
Damn my life sucks.
I pull away from the warmth of Nikka's embrace and wipe my tears. I give her a half smile and say, "Thank you. I guess I needed that. I just keep hoping the Goddess brings me a mate so I can get on with my life and not feel this way. I also know there are shifters hundreds of years older than me who have never found their mates. I'm afraid I will be one of them. I would even be happy to mate with another wolf and give up children. It's love I want." I wipe away another escaping tear. "Having a mad passionate affair with the dragon might alleviate some of this pain. I desire him so very badly." What I don't say, because I have no idea why I feel as I do, is that I want the dragon for more than a quick affair. I want him forever, which is completely unrealistic.
Nikka's smile is gentle and I read acceptance in her gaze. Whatever I decide, she will back me. Twenty-four years is a long time and just maybe my mate will show himself before those years have passed. If so, Sarn and I can part ways with no one hurt. He would have a bride to choose and I would have a mate to live the rest of eternity with.
I'm glad I came here today. It has cleared my thoughts and I know exactly what I will do. I have a dragon to seduce, though a lot will need to take place before the seduction. The man seriously needs a bath.