Eleven

Dark Ages, 1460.

“I am who I am, Alizandra. I can’t let go. They forged me in blood and death, and I know no other way!” It was his answer. He didn’t listen to me, and something broke inside my chest.
I still had my night terrors, and so did he. But as long as we slept in each other’s arms and in our bed, we could keep them at bay. It was a four-poster bed, with dragons carved in the dark wood. Call me crazy, but I had the distinct impression those dragons had some power in them, and they watched over our sleep, bringing some peace to our tortured selves. Unfortunately, once out of the room, I hadn’t been able to shed the problems away, and my eyes always carried a haunted expression.
Our souls were intertwined for all eternity. That was a fact, and it didn’t matter what would happen to us. We would always be together. He asked me not to sneak out anymore, but to take Liana with me when I wished to walk around the village, but not even that appeased me anymore. I preferred staying by the courtyard garden or praying in the chapel. So I kept my promise because he was the one breaking all of them.
I knew everything that would go on around me. Most of the Transylvanian settlers were Germans, they were hardworking people, and they were great in the making of firearms, like cannons. The sultan took a liking to the idea. Most of Vlad’s business involved the districts of Sibiu and Brașov, and he had made a deal with them. He’d help defend the Saxons from the Turks, give political asylum if needed, and let them exchange goods in some towns, sell their merchandise to customers and buy from the producers, and their only obligation was to pay the Wallachian customs duties.
“Vlad, I feel your distress and affliction,” I said to him when I got into the chapel, and his answer was to embrace me by the waist, hiding his face in my chest. Instantly, my arms brought him closer to me. Oh dear God, how I wished everything was different.
“Draga mea, whatever comes on my way, I need your forgiveness.” He looked at me crushed, his eyes bearing the heavyweight of his decisions.
The shit started when the Habsburgs and Hunyadis began a fight for the crown in Hungary, and the Hunyadis had helped him secure his throne in Wallachia, so he sided with them. The Saxons treated him as a traitor, and unfounded rumors circled around, and that drove him out of his mind.
He tried to treat everything with diplomacy, but they didn’t even answer him. The final blow came when Dan, Vladislav II’s brother, who Vlad had slain in one of his battles, and his half brother, also called Vlad by the title, The Monk became a threat to his crown. I’ve never seen this man so furious. These past few weeks he had come and gone, always pacing back and forth like a wild beast, and I’d find him here in the chapel, alone and miserable.
“Who am I to judge and forgive? I’m only human, like you. I respect your decisions, but it doesn’t mean I accept them as right. You know my beliefs, but what saddens me most is that not even for me, you change your ways. But I accept, God put me in here, and I must make peace with my fate.”
“Please, don’t say it this way. I love you so much, but I have to do what I have to do. There are so many people against me already, don’t be one of them.”
“And I’m not my love, I just wished things were different.” I cupped his chin and made him face me. He could see the truth in my words. I kissed him with all my being, putting all my love and care for him in that kiss because I knew our lives would never be the same after that day.
“Believe me, I don’t know another way to seize their power and their supporters, Liz!”
***
And he did! He raided terror throughout Transylvanian soil. They were his enemies, and they needed to pay the price. Dan also had his army, and the offensive against Vlad was ugly. The battles, a bloodbath, and things turned out for the worst when Dan tried to invade Wallachia. But Vlad had been ready for him, and he met his fate right at the border.
“Lady, come with me, we have to do something!” Liana pulled me by the hand towards the secret passageway.
“What’s going on?” I stopped her in her tracks.
“I’ll explain on our way there. Come, we have little time.” She dragged me out of the castle down to the river, the spot to his “show of power”, but to me, it was a horror show.
I stopped in a halt when he saw me. Only I knew what was going on under that calm demeanor. His eyes were clouded with fear and agony. Anton, his second in command, came and kneeled in front of him, offering a chalice. I understood what he was about to do, and my heart plunged in my stomach. I glanced at his soldier in a mute plea to take that nasty thing away from him, but what I got was a sad glance back. Vlad stared at me with such intense sorrow, pleading for my forgiveness. But how could I forgive him this time?
“Please, I beg you, don’t do it!” My eyes were wider than saucers and my throat was closing in. I couldn’t breathe anymore. My heart thundered in my ears so loud it was deafening. “Why are you doing such an atrocity?”
“I have to do it. My enemies seem not to dread me anymore and I need them to fear me. I cannot fall into their hands, nor let them seize Wallachia from me.” His rough voice boomed in my ears. “Everybody in every corner will hear about it. This act will go a long way, but believe me, I didn’t want to come to this point.”
“Why then, Vlad? Why are you condemning your soul?”
“Who wouldn’t dread a man who drinks the blood of his foes?” I caught the bitterness in his tone. I had to do something, dissuade him from this horrendous act, but I didn’t know how to do it.
“If you do this, you’ll crave that for the rest of your days! Your soul will burn in hell, and this time I will never forgive you! Never! Do you understand me?” I worked with the only weapon I had at that moment. I cried, threatening him with my words.
His eyes didn’t let go of me for one second. My heart was at my throat. He parted a piece of bread, still staring at me. The sky darkened and a whiplash of lightning descended into a tree, shredding to pieces. I screamed and dashed to him. He dipped in the unholy liquid, and before I reached him, he ate and drank the whole thing. Thunder resounded as I crashed into his chest, throwing everything to the ground. My hands turned into fists and I couldn’t help myself punching him everywhere, but I was late. The last thing I saw before darkness took me away was the pain in his eyes. He knew the deep shit he got himself into.
***
I woke up in my bed with a bad rainstorm lashing at the walls outside, and he paced from side to side in the room. My Vlad was indeed a tortured soul, but I loved him with everything I had in me, and besides his brutal ways, his people believed in him and looked up to him. His enemies were cruel, and he was raised and taught to believe that to fight against them he had to inflict fear and pain, making himself even more vicious than his foes.
I knew the man behind the mask, but he was entrenched to avenge his family and the promise he made to his father to free his beloved land, not only from the Turks, but as I saw now, anyone who posed a threat to him. He knew I was awake the minute I opened my eyes, and he stopped in his tracks, staring at me with a mix of pain, remorse, horror, and else.