Thirty-Eight

She was in the shower for more than an hour already. I wanted to give her some privacy, but my concern and anxiety were getting the best of me. What could she possibly be doing there all this time? I paced back and forth outside the door. Not even a movement, only the sound of water. I cracked the door open, peeking inside.
She sat in the tub, under the shower, legs drawn up to her chest, her arms circling them tight, and her head hidden between her knees. She was the picture of desolation. I’ve never seen my Liz so battered, not even when she saw me drinking that shit centuries ago. My vision blurred as a lump appeared in my throat and an ache gripped in my chest. Waves of fear, disappointment, anger, and God knew what else radiated from her. Beating at me.
‘What should I do, Anton? She closed herself from me, and I don’t know how to get to her.’
‘I think we came down too strong on her, old friend. Her fear is lashing at me. She puts this mask of strength on, and sometimes I forget she’s just a scared little girl inside.’
‘How can you feel her emotions?’ I asked, puzzled.
‘Vlad, that’s a talk for another time. Take care of her.’
‘What should I do?’ He knew her better than I, he should tell me what to do. I felt lost for the first time.
‘Talk. Talk to her. See if she opens up to you. Ask her about the tattoos, then you’ll know.’
‘Thanks for the advice.’
I entered the bathroom and shut off the water. She flinched, making herself smaller, as if she could disappear. I enveloped her in a big soft towel, taking her to bed with me and keeping her on my lap. She burrowed her face in the crook of my neck and didn’t dare to face me.
“Why do you fear me so much, dragă?” She stiffened, and I brought her closer to me. “Look at me, please?” A light shake of her head was her only response. “Don’t distance yourself from me, Liz.” The pain in my voice sounded unreal to my ears, but got her attention and slowly she raised her eyes, meeting mine. They were red-rimmed, and those lavenders were brighter, staring at me.
“I don’t fear you, but I fear what you represent, and I’m so disappointed in myself.”
“Make me understand.” Her words made little sense, only getting me more puzzled.
“I’ve been by myself my whole life and used to do things on my own, and I don’t know how to be different.”
“But you had Anton.”
“You’re right. He was there for me, but he never took away my choices.” Now we were getting somewhere. “You’ll take over my life, and in the end, it will have nothing left of me.” She said with such sorrow in her tone as tears flooded her eyes again and claws squeezed at my heart.
“It won’t be this way, we just need time to adjust, that’s all.”
“Everything is happening too fast, and I can’t breathe around you.” She choked and hid her face again.
“I wasn’t here when you needed me most, and I blame myself for that, so please Liz, give me a chance to get to know you, and make things right.” I caressed her strands, brushing them out of her face. “Look at me.” Those violets were fixed on me once again, and we stared at each other for a long, eternal minute. Then she nodded. “May I see your tattoos up close, dragă?” She tensed again. It was just a simple request. “Why the concern in those lavenders?”
“It is just… I don’t wish to talk about them,” she said almost in a plea, worrying her bottom lip.
“But if we have to start somewhere, why not them?” Liz looked so broken and fragile staring at me, I just couldn’t resist. Lowering my head, I took her lips in a long and gentle kiss meant to show how much I loved her all these centuries, although the only thing she knew about me were the glimpses here and there. She didn’t even notice I had put her on the mattress and opened the towel.
“Vlad…” She blushed hard, from head to toe, when I touched her bare skin. She had no clue how breathtaking she was.
“Don’t hide from me.” Losing her freedom terrified her, but her eyes darkened under my warning. Deep down, she enjoyed my bossing her around. When she tried to move away, my eyes flashed golden, and I pinned her in place… “I’m not saying again, you don’t need to hide from me.” I could smell lust all over her.
My hand covered her neck, applying a bit of pressure, then a little massage to soothe. I wanted to make this a pleasurable experience for her, to redeem myself for the way I acted tonight, and by the swift intake of her breath, I was getting there. I loved her long, sinful neck, where I could kiss, nip, and bite at my pleasure. And that was what I did. She was still nervous, and I wanted her to relax for me.
I was eager to discover all her secrets. The drawings started at the base of her shoulder, running down her left arm; it worked like a sleeve. I brushed my fingertips over them, feeling the texture, and it was so smooth and delicate to the touch, as if the pictures weren’t there. I knew I was looking for something, but nothing prepared me for what I found. There were minor bumps hidden beneath the drawings, ones thicker, others thinner. She flinched again, trying to hide.
“Dragă.” I whispered, narrowing my brows at the marks. She didn’t take her eyes off my face for a second.
Some scars would give life to a drawing; a branch to a flower, or a sword to a knight, most of them with a medieval touch, a few skulls lost in the middle of everything. The rougher scars were around her wrists on both arms, as in the right one, the tattoos would go up to her elbow, with a full moon and stars around, and one could read, ‘it’s in the darkness we better see the stars.’
I leaned down kissing each one, and tracing them with the tip of my tongue, following the path down her rib cage, where there were others which bloomed in colorful big carnations, ending closer to her bellybutton. Her breathing became hitched and goosebumps crossed over her deliciously hot skin. I kept going, as I knew she was enjoying my inspection. I raised my head, and she stared at me, expectant.
Placing my hands on her slender thighs, I delivered feather-light strokes on them, touching and kneading the inner part, where I could feel more of those scars. Opening them up to me, I kissed my way into her soft wet folds and made her writhe underneath my lips.
“I love when you moan for me, Liz.” I sucked at that sweet nub of her, making little twists on it with my tongue. She bunched my hair in her hands, pushing me closer.
“Vlad! What are you doing to me?” Her words came in little gasps.
“Want me to stop?” I nipped at her with my canine and smirked at myself.
“NO…” Was her only response before I plunged my tongue into her tight channel, thrusting hard a few times, making her buck into my face, sending her over the edge.
My mouth hovered back over the little bud, sucking and nibbling while I pushed my fingers into her, pumping in and out fast. She was already at the top of the cliff, the pressure gathering in her soft body. She only needed a little push. I splashed my palm over her svelte belly, not allowing her to move, driving her even more to the edge.
“Grizzly, you’re gonna make me come.” Her keen sounds between pants were beautiful.
“That’s the intention, dragă.” When she arched back, gripping harder on my hair, I had reached my goal. She came crashing down, her soft body trembling uncontrolled, tightening and clamping around my fingers, and her breathing so erratic. I’m sure she experienced a little death right there.
She was gorgeous, looking down at me with those almost black orbs, her disheveled wet hair framing the pillows, and all flushed from head to toe. But I didn’t stop right there. I made my way back to her inner thighs. There were more tattoos to see, the same as the others, and inside of one rose it wrote, ‘stormy days make us appreciate the sunny ones.’ There was so much truth in those words.
When I noticed them for the first time in the cabin, I got angry and didn’t understand, but now I could see them in a different light, they added to her beauty, even though I didn’t know the meaning behind all of them, and why all those marks. They were the ones marring that perfect, luscious skin. I’m sure those were what Anton referred to, and if he was the one who worked on them, he did an outstanding job.
Liz had relaxed into my care, coming down from the stars, but tensed again as I traced each mark with my fingertips. Even the most hidden ones. I caressed her entire body, and one unchecked sob escaped her lips. I didn’t expect to see heavy tears glinting in her eyes when I glanced at them, as I felt a heaviness sit in my chest and tear me apart. Waves of suffering emanated from her, so painful it felt like whip lashes on my skin. She was silent, too silent for her own good.
“Dragă, what happened to you?” When I questioned, she broke into distressed sobs.