Twelve

Dark Ages, 1461-2.

Lord, she was beautiful! I loved those lavenders, and by God’s justice to those eyes she smelled floral, lavender just like the color in them, but as soon as she stared at me something had changed. They were dead, and that made me fall on my knees right there in the middle of the room. I killed her soul together with mine, and for that, I would never forgive myself. She observed me without saying a word, a terrorizing silence.
“What can I do to bring back the light in your eyes?” There was nothing else I could do to remedy the situation, but beg for her absolution.
“Nothing.” She gave me a blunt retort, a spear piercing my heart. “You’ve made your choice, and I hope it served you well.” There was no more passion in her voice, only disgust.
“Sometimes I ask God why would he give me this burden? He knows who I am, he knows how bloody my life has been, so why did he give you to me? You don’t deserve any of this.”
She sighed and considered my words for some time. “It saddens me that you didn’t consider your way of life a burden, but me.” The contempt in her words was insufferable.
“That wasn’t what I meant, dragă.” I crawled to her, but once I touched her, she shied away and recoiled herself close to the bedpost.
“Don’t touch me!” Tears glinted in her eyes, the only thing able to make them shine again. “Just. Don’t!” Her tone was so deadly, it was enough for me. I didn’t think twice and marched out of the room.
***
We were in a war, my enemies closing on me, and now I had Liz to deal with. I needed to get her forgiveness. She was the air I breathed, and my actions caused her pain. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Alizandra became a ghost haunting Poenari, and my heart no longer beat. I’ve tried everything possible to bring her back, to see those lavenders shine and smile at me the way they used to, with passion and love. But it had been in vain.
The new sultan Mehmed decided he wanted to conquer not only my land, but the whole of Europe. I’d grown up with him and I knew how big of a menace he was, except the Europeans. If people thought of me as a devil, he would be the commander of hell. I had to make peace with the Germans from Transylvania and take down the sultan as his army outnumbered mine three to one. Yes, matters were getting out of hand.
I didn’t know how to sleep without her, and despite her struggles, I held her to me every night. “Don’t fight me, dragă, you’ll get nowhere with this attitude.” Once in my arms, she’d quiet down, and I nestled her in my chest. “I miss you, draga mea. Sleep tight.” I always whispered to her until one night she laced her fingers with mine. Hope filled my soul.
After long conversations, I signed a treaty with the Germans and I also renewed my allegiance to the Hungarian crown, and they backed me up against the Turks since the sultan was already securing the Danube. After months of the horrendous massacre from both sides, and the failed attempt of invading Târgovişte by the sultan, things seemed to cool down a bit. It was time for me to go back home.
I had already crushed the sultan’s army, and on my way home I had a little surprise. “Come out, traitor, I know you’re following me for quite some time now, Radu!”
“Brother, long time, no see!” He had a pitiful smirk on his lips, coming from behind a tree.
“You’ve been slithering on my domains, talking to my people and promising them things that will never happen. Tell that friend of yours to stay away from my land!” I said with gritted teeth, containing my rage.
“That’s not how we negotiate, Vlad. We want free passage throughout the territory and you have been the pebble in our shoe for too long.”
“Your words make me happy. I’m not good with negotiation, I let my sword negotiate for me.” I advanced on him, grabbing him by his collar, coming face to face, and to my dismay he didn’t struggle.
“You don’t know how much I hate you, and I will live to see your downfall, brother.” He had so much hatred in him, I could see deep in his eyes.
“Why? What did I do to you? You are my brother, Radu, and I loved you. Why do you hate me to the point of betraying your own people?” A glimpse of sorrow crossed his face, listening to my words. Then it disappeared. “I’d tried my best to protect you, but I was alone.”
“Let go of me,” he growled. “Your era of terror ends here!” He stared at my eyes, waiting for my next move.
“I have done nothing more than what I was taught to do, beloved brother, and I surpassed my teachers. How talented of a student was I?” I released him. “Go back to your friends, infidel.” I sped out of there, not even looking behind, but when I got to the village, his small contingent of Turkish allies were already positioning their cannons and artillery bombards. My men and I didn’t even have the time to go up the castle. Time ticked upon us, and I had to get to Liz. We could escape together through the pathway.
Hell broke loose that night. They fired bombs and cannons at a deafening sound. Dust and debris flew all over the place, people ran and screamed for their lives. My men and I drew our swords and engaged in battle with Radu’s men, but I’d make my brother pay the price for this. Traitor! I needed to concentrate not to get killed, but my mind didn’t obey me and it would turn to Liz and the dangers to her.
Then, my heart stopped in my chest. Alizandra was in the middle of that mayhem. What in hell was she doing down here? My fear escalated so much, giving me an extra jolt of strength that coursed through my veins, making me more aggressive with my sword to free myself and go to her. When the last men fell through my blade… Lots of arrows flew in the sky...
“ALIZANDRA!!!” I ran, ran as I’ve never run before. She turned her face to the sound of my voice and smiled in relief. Then the entire scene played out in an excruciating slowness. The smile froze on her lips while her eyes dilated and paled. She lost her breath, falling against my hard body and staring at my eyes. Once I held her I touched two arrows transfixed on her back, and blood sagged under her dress.
“No, no, no!! Alizandra! What have I done?” I held her to me, crying and begging, my face buried in the softness of her neck and her hair floating around us. “Why did you come down here, draga? Why?”
“I got news you were down here and injured. I couldn’t imagine, then I heard the explosions…” Her voice was barely audible. “Sorry, Vlad” She coughed up blood all over me, and I realized it was more serious than I thought. Bad, bad, serious. Anton came to my encounter and took me out of my nightmare paralysis.
“Sire, get her and let’s go, we can’t stay here, there’s more coming!” I got her in my arms, and Anton led the way up to the castle. If we went into the woods, they would follow us. Better was to divert them. Go to the castle and leave through the pathway. Alizandra became limp in my arms.
“Liz, stay with me, look at me, dragă, please!”
“We both know I won’t make it up there. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you… I’m sorry I said those harsh words to you... Forgive me?” Tears streamed down her face, mingling with all the blood.
I was a warrior. Deep down I knew she didn’t have a chance, but I refused to believe. I knew there was a God, and even though I was a sinner, I still believed he wouldn’t take her from me. Yes, I knew what was happening, but I refused to accept it! Lord, if you can hear me, I plead with you, don’t take her away from me!
“Dragă, please! Hold on a bit more… we’re almost there. Don’t close your eyes.”
“Promise, you won’t forget me? We’ll find each other again one day?”
The light in her eyes faded. They were so glassy, and I knew what was about to come. I held her to me with everything I had. My soul was already lost, now I was losing my heart. She was peacefully staring at me, and her fingers made their way to my face one last time, wiping the tears streaming down nonstop.
“Liz, don’t you dare die on me! Don’t you dare leave me alone in this world!” I screamed at her. “No! You don’t!” I yelled again, anger filling my soul.
“Don’t worry. You’ll never be alone, I’ll be with you, always...” Her voice was so frail.
She was giving up on me, on life. I couldn’t allow her to quit this game. No! She was my light in this dark world. We were a mere few yards from the entrance, so I rushed inside as I heard her yelp of pain, stopping in the courtyard with her almost lifeless body in my arms.
“Vlad, look at me.” She brushed her fingers over my face. “I love you, my bear.” She was saying goodbye, and heavy teardrops fell like rain on her. But I couldn’t help myself. “There’s no need to cry, our souls will be together for all eternity, we’ll find each other again.” She kissed me. Her lips were so cold and bluish against her ashen skin. I was losing her! “Love you,” she whispered on my lips, and she was gone, just like that.
Suddenly amid all the noise around us everything fell silent, and I collapsed on the ground taking her lifeless body with me, and I screamed all the agonizing ache ravaging my heart, holding her tight to my chest, and for the first time, I cried so hard, that I was sure the whole village heard my hails of pain.
“Don’t leave me alone! Dragă, don’t!!!” I buried my face in her hair.