Seventeen

Gosh, my body hurt. I was so out of it. I had no clue what was going on. Telling the truth, I didn’t even know if I was alive, dead, or dreaming. The awareness of warmth, closure, and protection made me feel so good, and I didn’t know where I was, but I felt at peace for once in my life, and I didn’t want to wake up. I didn’t want reality to fall upon me.
The heaviness of arms and being held by someone struck me. I fluttered my eyes open to find myself entangled with a bear. It was a man, but still a bear, in a very dimmed lit ambiance with shadows playing on the walls, coming from an almost gone fire.
I forgot all about my pain as my training skills kicked in, and when I realized I had already thrown him out of bed with all my might. Now, he was there on the floor looking at me, all bewildered and sleepy. Suddenly, I felt empty without this stranger there beside me. Cold crawled uninvited into my body, clawing for my soul. What the heck?
“Who the hell are you? What did you do to me? Where am I?” So many questions without answers. They just kept tumbling out of my mouth without restraint, making his eyes even more puzzled.
“Calm down, Alizandra! Calm down!” He held his hand out, palm up, as if he could stop the flood of questions flowing out of me.
“Alexandra! My name is Alexandra, Grizzly!”
“Fine. Why are you calling me this? What’s a grizzly?”
The quizzical look he gave me was hilarious, and I couldn’t help but smirk. But the distraction wasn’t something I could afford at the moment. I needed to focus on what developed in front of me as a priority.
“A bear?” I waved my hands at him, stating what I meant. He looked at himself, taking his hand to his face, and sighed, giving me annoyance and embarrassment. “Answer my questions, please.”
“Sorry, I don’t look my best at the moment. I’ve tried to make myself presentable, but everything is so strange around me. I had to make sure, I cared for you before myself, so you could heal.”
The way he apologized made my heart clench with guilt. He sounded so alone and pained. I wanted to wipe that loneliness from his face! What was wrong with me? I mentally slapped myself. Why was I reacting this way to a stranger? Then it hit me, I knew him! Lord, I was far gone, delusional.
“You! How is it possible for you to be here?” He moved, and I screamed, dragging myself closer to the headboard. “Stay where you are!” Then I heard a loud exhalation of contempt. Yes, he got annoyed as he sat crossed legs in front of me.
“I’ll do what you ask of me since you’re confused, but I forbid you to talk to me in such a disrespectful manner. You’ve never had such condescending behavior before.”
“Yeah, right?” I couldn’t help but snort. “Maybe because we’ve never spoken prior to this moment, your highness!” Only in my head, I added to myself.
“Alizandra!” The warning in his voice had my laugh die on my lips, and my womb clenched in anticipation, but I didn’t know what for… The way my face burned, I blushed hard, and by the hungry, wolfish look on his face, he noticed. I shrunk away even more.
“Fine, I’m sorry, and thank you for taking care of me.”
“Your suffering had disturbed my sleep, and I woke up with your pain. Jesus, woman! It felt like it would rip me apart. What troubles have you gotten yourself in this life? When I got to you, you were unconscious, and don’t ask me what happened, I don’t know, but my guts told me I couldn’t keep you there, so I found this cabin and moved you here.”
It mesmerized me, the sound and cadence of his smooth but rough voice, and when he called me *woman*, a passionate feeling spread throughout my body. I stopped listening to him right there, as my mind wandered to a faraway place I knew so well, my memories. He was there in all his splendor, staring back at me.
I couldn’t control the trembling that took me from head to toe, and shaking my head in denial, I shut my eyes. A movement called to my attention, and he was on me so fast, my only reaction was to crawl myself to the other side of the bed, almost falling on the floor.
“Don’t! Don’t come closer to me, please!” My frightened scream stopped him in his tracks.
“What’s wrong? Are you in pain? These last two days you burnt with a terrible fever.”
“And I must have died, or the electrical shocks must have fried my brain!” I sounded crazy and anguished even to my own ears.
“Why would you say that, dragă?”
“You! I’m talking to you, a figment of my nightmares! I’m paranoid. Oh, God!” I brought the covers up to my neck and touched my forehead, checking for a fever. I must be delirious.
“What are you doing?”
“Checking for fever. Stop talking to me, you don’t exist, it’s my imagination!”
“I can prove to you I’m very real, Alizandra!” I could swear his eyes flashed golden, just like the fire, probably a reflection from the fireplace. “And no, you are not delirious, you’ve been twelve hours without a fever.” His tone didn’t leave room to challenge him back. I felt my heart was about to jump out of my throat, and the surrounding air crackled. “Please? You’re still weak and need rest.” That was his simple request and so full of concern for me. Who was he?
“How? I thought you were only in my mind, that I had made you up?” I asked him in a squeaky voice, staring at him as if he was a ghost. “Impossible for you to be here…”
“Do you know who I am? You talked to me earlier, when the fever made you delirious. I don’t know how these things work, but if you remembered me earlier, I believe we’re going in the right direction.” Listening to him, he sounded so hopeful and anxious that I hated myself for what I said next.
“Yes, delirious! I don’t know who you are… well, yes, I do. You’re the barbarian warrior who haunted my dreams since I was a kid. How can you be here?” Man! I needed some scotch! I felt the air getting heavy, and if I didn’t want things to fly around and explode, I had to relax.
Shutting my eyes and covering them with my hands, I breathed a lung full of air. Maybe when I opened them again, he wouldn’t be there anymore. I pulled my fingers apart while cracking my lids, and my heart somersaulted in my chest, leaving me breathless. Nope, he was still there.
“They were not dreams, Liz. They were remembrances of your past life with me.”
“Wow, hold your horses, right there! This is ludicrous!” A laughing fit got me by surprise, causing me to laugh my ass off.
“Horses? I don’t see any horses here! Are you mocking me?” He had no humor, which made me laugh even harder, making him even more pissed.
When he gripped on me, my laugh died and terror mixed with lust crept on my back, causing me to lose my thin control, blasting him with a wave of fear and throwing him across the room. The look on his face promised me hell, pure, devilish hell. I didn’t have time to blink as he got on top of me, locking my body between the mattress and him.
Yes, he was very much real, too real for comfort, but his hands felt so right on me, and for a few endless seconds, the universe froze.
“How? How did you do this?” he asked, appalled.