Thirty-Seven

He would never understand how I felt, and how I led my life as he had his mind set in the 1400s, in his overbearing, domineering ways, and it was impossible for me to set back in time, and go back to the damsel acting just like old Alizandra. My entire life I had to fight for survival, and when dad came along, it eased a little since I had someone to lean on, but it was still up to me to get my shit together and fight out of the nightmare I was living, it didn’t matter how many therapy sections I was doing it. It was all on me.
“What am I going to do with you?” I kissed him hard, almost devouring his lips. “I can’t be Alizandra, I just know how to be myself.” He smelled like the forest’s morning dew, reminding me of my home in the Catskills. I loved and missed that place, but he was also my home. My body accepted, but my mind still fought against it.
“I will not tolerate your disobedience, Liz.” His voice was harsh in my ear. He nipped at my skin just to soothe with kisses. His heart thundered against my chest, and his breathing was heavy and ragged, just like mine. “What happened today will never repeat, do you listen to me?”
“You can’t ask me that. I’m not her!” I gritted out, angry at him, at myself. Angry at life for making me this way.
“Yes, you are, she’s in there, I feel her in you.” I lost all my pride and self respect when his hand made its way into my pants, cupping and kneading my butt, pressing me to him, and finding my dripping wet folds. My knees weakened, and if he wasn’t holding me tight to him, I would have fallen.
“You’re not playing fair.” I let out a grunt, clinging to him as he sent shock waves to all my nerve endings and my thoughts scattered around us. He unbuttoned me, giving him better access to torture me further. His skilled fingers rubbed and pressed on my little button, making me buck into his hand. “Grizzly!”
It was only a week, not even that, and I knew my fate was sealed to him. How could I survive all of this? How could I go through all of this craziness and get out of it in one piece? My mind ran wild, out of control, and it wasn’t fair. He knew I didn’t resist him, he knew I didn’t think straight around him, and he was using it against me. But didn’t I use Shane’s feelings for me against him the same way? On a smaller scale, but I did. I felt miserable and dirty, but I didn’t have the strength to stop this insanity.
It was a primal feeling, raw and carnal. We were tearing at each other like two wild beasts. He didn’t let go of my lips as he stripped me of my pants all together with my boots. The cold hit my bare legs, but it just added to the moment, while I unzipped him and he was free from those confines. He growled low when I touched his hard, thick length, making it grow even bigger in my palm.
“There’s no place to run, Liz. Your fate is with me, you’re mine.” He slid his hands down my sides, cupping my butt and pushing me up, positioning me above his pulsing heat, as my core contracted in anticipation. I was so wet I could barely think straight. I wrapped my legs behind his back, gripping him to me in a tight embrace. “Forever.” And without a warning, he pushed himself inside me. I rolled my eyes back, and he gave a loud grunt. I laced my fingers in his hair and pulled him to me, bringing my mouth closer to his ear.
“Gimme all of you!” I couldn’t believe what I just said. The next minute, he took me so hard and aggressive, I’d go up against the tree a few inches every time, driving me insane. As pressure coiled inside me, he was also close to losing himself at the moment’s ecstasy. “Bite me, Grizzly!” For a painful second, he stopped moving and looked at me with doubt in those golden eyes as his demon stared back. Lord, I’d go to hell, but I loved the hungry look of his demon. “Bite me, I want you both!”
Next thing I knew, his warm and soft lips were trailing down from my jaw to my neck. His beard tickling my skin made me even more aroused, as I arched my neck and felt the quick piercing pain just to be replaced by a lightning sizzling into my veins. I was at a point of no return, and I gave myself entirely to him. His demon took over, and each thrust became faster, stronger, and erratic, taking us to a vortex of emotion I’ve never thought possible.
“Grizzly…” I gasped. My walls clenched around him harder, nonstop, taking me even higher towards that winter starry night above us, as he swelled inside me, and with a grunt from him we came down hard in each other’s body.
“Mine… forever.” His loud growl reverberated throughout the park, making all the creatures of the night fly or run away. He licked my neck, closing the bite, and sagged against my body, his weight squashing me at the tree-trunk as my tears rolled down my face.
He looked at me, his forest greens glazed in ecstasy, full of love and determination. He held me captive in his gaze for endless moments, and the little demon held me there, mesmerized, showered in his golden light, taking me into the wildest ride of my life. Vlad became my strength, but also my downfall.
“You won. I’m forever yours, Grizzly.” I didn’t even bother to sound so defeated, still trying to find my breath. He tensed and glanced at me, the rush of the moment waning down as the cold weather washed over my skin.
“Why do you say it like it was a curse?” A heavy sob came out, shaking my entire body as I stared at him. “Liz…” he whispered and hugged me to him. His warmth spread over my shattered soul. I didn’t want to let go of him, but I couldn’t let myself get distracted by him. He already owned my body, and if I wasn’t careful enough, he was a step closer to owning my mind and soul, if my mind wasn’t half taken yet.
I untangled myself from him, looking for my pants while he put himself together, and I averted my gaze since he looked at me bereft, as if I had crossed a knife through his heart. Maybe I did it, but I needed time. Everything was happening too fast, and I felt cornered, trapped by his intensity. I built a safe, disciplined life around me, and he showed up, crashing down everything I’ve done. I needed space. But how to make him understand?
“Please, let’s go home. I have to get home. I need some normalcy in my life or I’m going to explode, and it’ll be ugly.” Finishing putting my boots on, I strode away from him. “I can’t think straight with you looking at me as if I had betrayed you. My mind is a mess, and I’m hanging onto my sanity by a thread. I need a shower to set myself back on track. You’re taking over my life, as if I don’t have any choice in the matter, Vlad!”
“Liz, look at me!” he growled from behind, but I didn’t have the courage, and he was by my side in a leap. “We need to talk!” He held me by the wrist, bringing me to crash into his chest.
“Don’t touch me. I don’t want to hurt you.” I gritted out, putting a distance between us, as the air around crackled. “Right now, I don’t trust myself!” My eyes filled with more tears.
“But I do.” He swept me into his arms, bridal style, and walked out of the woods.
His scent called to me, and despite all the chaos going on around me, caused by him, I couldn’t help feeling secure in his arms, and it brought one more round of fresh tears down my face. My strength was nowhere to be found, so I sank myself into his chest and closed my eyes. He was taking us back to dad’s barber shop, where I had left my bike. I didn’t have a clue how I was going to drive back.