The green room

CAMILLA
~•~
I led him to his room door and watched him take slow strides to his bed. I didn't look at anything else, I couldn't - not when his legs continued to shake in the way that they did.
Once he had safely tucked himself in, I leaned away from his door frame and closed his door behind me. I pressed my back to the metal door coated with black paint. My heartbeat had not yet steadied and I could still feel my arms vibrate by my side.
Today's episode of healing mister Holloway was the scariest I had ever encountered in all my life. Face to face with what could have turned to homicide. I wiped my sweat from my forehead with the back of my palm and headed back to the kitchen.
Water, I needed water.
I slipped into the kitchen, grateful for the silence of the house. I was sure Ian's brother had left already. No matter what he had done or did not do, it would be foolish to remain in the house of someone who was seconds close to pulling the trigger on you, no matter your relationship with them. The rude man might have been many things, but I doubted foolish was one of them.
I found the fridge and took out a bottle of water. There was no time to reach out for a glass. I opened the bottle and raised it up to press it to my lips when I heard footsteps approach the kitchen door.
I sighed and dropped the bottle instantly. It had to be Antonio or Ian, and I was not willing to see or speak to either of them. I opened the fridge and dropped the bottle back in, ready to take my leave from the kitchen. I was seconds too slow. The intruding figure blocked the doorway before I could get through.
It was the rude man.
I frowned at him.
"You know, with what just happened, one would think that you should have found your way out of this place by now." I spoke to him for the first time - well, besides the times I yelled at him to keep his fucking mouth shut - folding my arms under my breasts as I leered at him.
He ran his hands down his hair with one hand tucked into his pocket - a gesture I had found peculiar to mister Ivan - before looking down at me. I watched his chest rise and fall as he let out a heavy sigh.
"I am going to leave, but I just wanted to warn you."
I found myself scoffing and trying to walk past him, but he grapped hold of my biceps, trapping me under his gaze. I squealed in pain, he was holding me too hard, before I tried to wriggle free of his hold. My struggle proved futile.
"Ivan… he's not who you think he is. You see what he did today, he does that at the slightest provocation. Listen, I do not know who you are, what you are to him and why you care about him so much, but the one thing I know is that this man…this man would ruin you. Standing by him is putting your life at risk, you have to understand this."
Soon, I stopped struggling and looked the man dead in the eyes. He dropped his hands and released me from his grip, before a bitter chuckle escaped my lips.
"You see, this is the problem with the world. You push people to the wall and call them names when they fight back for themselves, call them names when the things you did shape them into what they are."
"This is not about…"
"It's about it." I cut in. I did not know why I stood at such a defensive edge for mister Ivan, I did not know why I did anything for mister Ivan. But, time and time again, I found myself doing these things, without thinking, without effort.
"Mister Ivan has not had the best time in the world. He is a man who is just trying to heal, leave the past behind and move ahead in his life. But…whatever you did to him, it sparked something in him, something you should have been careful not to touch." I stood my ground as I spoke, making sure that every word I uttered sunk deep into his subconscious.
"You asked me what I was to him. I am his doctor and I have faith that he would do better, far better than he has ever done. All he needs is time, and he has a lot of that."
The rude man stared down at me with something like anger in his eyes, I watched as it quickly morphed into pity.
"Ivan is far from healing, accepting the past or even…moving on. Look around you! He was married for seven years, have you seen any pictures of his wife or his seven year old daughter around? No! Why? Because he is in denial. He does not want to look at them and acknowledge the fact that they are gone because they did not want to be with him!"
I listened intently as the man spoke. It was then that it dawned on me, he was right. I swallowed hard and tore my eyes away from him, to the staircase behind him.
"I know that you want to save him. But to do that, he has to want to be saved. Ivan…Ivan doesn't want redemption. You're wasting your time."
Bile rose up in my stomach, bitter and angry. He was trying to put the truth in plain and simple words, trying to paint a black or a white picture. But nothing was ever just black and white, there was always grey.
I dug my teeth into my lower lip gently, before I spoke.
"Let me be the judge of that."
He nodded, then looked over me one last time.
"Certainly. Just be careful."
He was the second person to warn me. In one night of staying here, I had already been warned twice.
What did that even mean?
I stayed quiet and watched as he disappeared down the stairs. But, I had a new mission now. I had to find pictures of his wife and children. Ian was right. I couldn't move forward, no matter how hard I try, if he did not come to good terms with the past.
I had to make sure I found something to take him down that memory lane, no matter how small.
I dashed down from the staircase and hurried into the corridor. There was a door beside the study, one I had not quite noticed before. I decided to begin my search there.
I walked towards the door and placed my hand on the knob, I turned it slightly and I heard the lock click. It opened immediately, without any effort. I stepped into the room, gently closing the door behind me.
It smelt of dust and old paper, all windows were locked and covered with thick curtains. I placed my fingers on the wall to find a light switch and found one by the door. I pressed my index finger against it and the room lit up with a neon green light immediately.
Voila!
All around me, on the walls, even on the ground, were portraits. Different ones of different sizes. I looked around me, turning around. Everywhere I lay my eyes on, there was a new picture to look at.
Some of a girl, a woman, both the girl and the woman, and mister Ivan in a few.
This was his family, these were the memories of his family he kept here, locked away.
The room smelt damp, meaning it had not been opened in a while.
So, why then was the door opened this time?
I heard the knob turn behind me and I turned sharply towards the door. It creaked open to reveal Antonio standing behind it, with an obvious frown on his face.
"Why are you here?"
He growled.
I opened my my mouth to speak, but he shut me off.
"You shouldn't be here. Mister Ivan would murder you if he knew."
Murder me?
"I just…"
"Leave here. Now."
It was more of an order than a request. I wiped my sweaty palm against my skirt and rushed out of the room, brushing past him as I did so.
He closed the door and locked it with a key. I watched as he turned away from the door and heading towards the pool, without a second glance at me.
My eyes drifted from him to the door once more.
I knew I would return there, I knew I had to.