I care

IVAN
~•~
She had no idea how badly I wanted to rip her dress apart, push her to the bed and make fast and intense love to her. She had no idea how much I had been longing to hear her say those words.
I also did not have an actual idea, until I heard her say them.
She was not drunk, she was not high, she was in control of her full five senses.
Yet, I could not bring myself to touch her anymore. My hands fell to my sides, and I stared down at her, unable to move a single inch.
She waited for the moment I would pick her from the ground, I could see the anticipation in her eyes.
But, it never came. I never made a move to touch her.
Slowly, her anticipation turned into a deep scowl, her eyes turned thin, while she narrowed them on me.
"What?" She asked, with teary eyes..
"What is the matter? Even if you don't think I am good enough to be touched?"
I narrowed my eyes on her, I did not know when an amused scoff escaped my throat.
"What? No, this does not have anything to do with whether or not I find you attractive, Camilla. You're a beautiful woman, you are just not…"
"As classy as your wife? As elegant as the woman whose tongue you were in the other night? Tell me, mister Ivan! Spit it on my face, cause there is nothing I haven't heard today!"
A deep scowl snuck its way into my face, I found myself frowning down at her.
"No, because you are clearly out of your mind." I spat out.
She scoffed, a bitter one, and threw her hands into the air.
"Okay, so now I'm mad?!"
"I don't know, you tell me." I retorted, slipping both my hands into my pockets. I had to make sure I did not put my hands on her for a second time, I was not sure I would be able to stop myself.
Clearly, she was grieving over something, even though she would not tell me what it was.
Grief often made people do the silliest of things, I was a living testimony.
I did not want her to wake up after an hour - she would have certainly fallen asleep out of fatigue if I was going to fuck her the way I wanted to - and regret the words that she said, hate me and hate herself.
No. I cared too much to have her put herself through that sort of emotional torture. Especially since I knew myself, no matter what happened, no matter how good the sex is, it would always be just sex to me.
I would fuck her over and over again, as many times as she wanted me to, but I would never show her any other form of intimacy.
Along the line, she would begin to feel like a sex doll, dirty, silly, used.
I did not want that for her, she deserved better.
In other words, I was restraining myself from touching her, because I cared about her.
Which was strange.
I had not cared for anyone or anything in more than two years.
Maybe, just maybe Tina's presence was starting to awaken the old Ivan.
Or, was it something else?
She turned her back towards me. I saw her dig her fingers into her hair, her whimpers were soft, and awfully sexy. But, I knew that any physical contact between us would spark the fire I was trying so hard not to start.
"Get out. Please." She spat out.
I did not bother to hesitate, I did as she said. One swift move, and I was out of her room, closing the door behind me.
Immediately I stepped out and turned right, I saw Sarah standing in the hallway, barely inches away from me.
She had that baby boy in her right hand, while she leered at me.
Her gaze moved to Camilla's room, before it danced to mine.
I ignored her presence and crossed the hallway, over to my room.
I opened my door and flung myself in it.
I knew she was coming behind me, so I did not bother to lock it, no matter how much I wanted to.
Just as I expected, my door pushed open and she stomped into my room, carrying her baby boy in her hands.
The little boy had a rubber duck figure in between his teeth. I would have smiled at the sight if I wasn't so irritated by his mother.
She closed the door behind her and walked over to my bed.
"You're going to have to quit this nonsense." She spat out.
I did not bother to look at her. I fixed my eyes on my bedside drawer.
"That's funny, considering how you're the nuisance in my house."
"This is my house too." She barked out, moving even closer to me.
Something in me hardened, my jaw followed suit.
My eyes traveled slowly, from the bedside drawer, up to her face.
She had a wry smile on her face.
"Yes, yes it is. Shoving my pictures into the green room is not going to make any difference. I am your wife, I carry two of your children. This house is mine as much as it is yours. Do not fucking play with me, Ivan."
I found myself rising from the bed, until I towered above her.
She looked up at me and swallowed hard.
"Not for long, it isn't."
I muttered, brushing past her and moving towards my closet.
She turned to face my back, I knew because I heard her movement.
"What the fuck does that even mean, Ivan?"
I turned sharply to her. The little boy in her arms was smiling, pulling her blonde strands of hair gently.
I wondered if he knew the kind of demon that had birthed him.
"You're only still standing on this ground because of Tina. You really did not think it'd be so easy to slip in and ruin my life, did you now?"
She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing. I moved to my study table to pick it up, but my priority did not please her.
"Don't pick that phone, Ivan. We are having a discussion, don't you dare…"
"Hello?"
I heard her disgruntled sigh, she turned away from me.
"Sir, good morning."
It was O'Bryan, my personal assistant.
"Good morning, Bryan. Is everything alright at the office?"
"Yes, yes sir. Vladimir Trofin will be at the office tomorrow and it is expedient that you're here to see him. He says he needs to meet with you urgently. "
I heaved a sigh and nodded, as though he would see me.
"I will be there in the morning, let the other staff know."
"Sure thing sir."
The line went dead.