Pretend it never happened

CAMILLA
~•~
First of all, I'd like to get something straight. Remember when they told you, or us, that the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest? Yes, they did not lie, not at all.
For some reason, the things you could not have appealed to the eyes and mind much more than the things that were yours.
That was how it felt like with mister Ivan. Knowing that he wasn't mine by law, that his last name belonged to another woman, yet he was here with me, filled me with so much pleasure.
I watched with smiling eyes as his eyelids parted and he opened his eyes to stare at me. I would have given him a flashy smile. Hell! I had already prepared my small wave. But, immediately his eyes caught sight of me, a frown formed on his face. I found myself withdrawing my face from his.
He looked over at me and sat up, leaning against the exquisite headboard of the bed.
I sat up straight and turned to him. This was the moment of awkward silence. It was the moment he woke up to realize he had made a terrible mistake and he should have been home with his wife and children instead.
I had seen all of it coming, yet I dived headfirst into everything. I was going to end up like my mother, after all; alone and afraid. But whatever happened, I knew that I would not give up on life, I would not be as weak as she was.
Mister Ivan did not say a word to me. I watched as he planted his feet on the ground and walked to the bathroom naked. His round and firm butt occupied my view as he walked and I couldn't stop myself from blushing when I remembered how firmly I had gripped the butt while his whole seven inches were in me.
After he showered, he put on his clothes in silence and left the room. He still had not said a word to me. All he did was walk around the room without acknowledging that anyone was there with him. It was as though I was a ghost, a part of the bed that he could see through.
Suddenly, he did not seem very gentle anymore. There was something icy about him, something cold and fearful. He was starting to look a lot more like the Ivan Holloway I had met, not the one I knew.
Being lonely in a hotel room typically meant the day would go very fast, especially when you had a working TV in front of you and very fast internet speed. I was able to engross myself in all the many meals that were sent to my room, TV shows, and a little bit of work until mister Ivan returned.
When the door slid open, it was seven in the evening. He closed the door behind him and I did my best to ignore his presence, but it did not help when he dropped a paper bag in front of me, with the Gucci brand symbol boldly engraved on it. Then he dropped a jewelry box with the name "Alexander" boldly engraved on it.
I had been watching TV while lying on my stomach. I tumbled over and sat on my butt, while I stared at him.
"What is all this?" I asked out loud. It was officially the first statement that had been spoken in that room since morning.
He looked down at me, a small frown on his face.
"Clothes for the party." He blurted out. His tone was formal, too formal for someone who could not keep his hands off me twenty-four hours ago.
I placed my bare feet on the cold floor and stood straight, folding my arm underneath my breasts.
"I did not tell you I planned to go to the party naked, did I?" I bit back.
I heard him scoff and turn away from me. He walked to where his suitcase stood.
"Don't do this, Camilla."
"Do what?" I thundered.
He picked up the suitcase from the floor and placed it on the bed. I watched him draw the zipper open and flip the lid of the box.
"Stress me. That's the reason Sarah is not here. I did not need the negative energy that followed her." He replied in an odd tone. I lost both the strength and the will to argue.
I found myself falling to the bed with my arms still folded.
"So, you're one of those guys?" I blurted out, a bitter snort escaped my throat.
His gaze flickered up to mine.
"One of what guys?"
"The pretend-it-didn't-happen guys."
He shook his head and pulled out a well-ironed tuxedo from his suitcase. I watched him zip it in silence.
"We should be at the shore by 9 pm, the cruise starts its voyage by 9:30. If I'm to meet important clients, I need to make a statement and be there even thirty minutes earlier. We have less than two hours, Camilla. Make good use of it."
I did not speak further, there was no use to. I walked into the bathroom and took a cold shower, ignoring the tears that burned my eyelids.
When I got out of the bathroom, he was fully dressed in a cobalt blue tuxedo and black shoes to match. He was the ever handsome devil he was, every woman's doom. I looked away from him and picked up my clothes from the bed. I was ready to move to the bathroom when he called out.
"You do not have to leave on my account, I can find my way out instead."
I paused, without turning to him, without looking at him.
I didn't move until I heard the door close. Even with shaky fingers and a heavy heart, I managed to put on the black silk Gucci dress. It was a long and flowing see-through turtleneck without sleeves. My black bra underneath the dress helped hide my breasts, it was a good thing the bottom of the dress had linen underneath.
In the jewelry box were a pair of pure onyx studs and a bracelet.
I put both of them on and stared at my image in the mirror.
This was the most expensive I had looked in years. All my life!
I simply wore my head in a high ponytail and touched my face with powder and my lips with lip gloss. In an hour, we were ready to leave.
The drive to the shore was silent. When we arrived, I was glad I had decided to wear balanced heels instead of high shoes, it would have been impossible to navigate through all the sand.
My body stilled when mister Ivan reached out to me and cupped my waist, pulling me to himself. I shot him a sturdy glare which he caught before looking away from me.
"You must always stay close to me, Camilla. And when I tell you to stay at a place, you stay in that place and you do not move."
"I do not believe you have the right to tell me what to do." I bit back. I was annoyed at how he could ignore me so effectively, and still have the nerve to order me around.
His blue eyes stared down at me as he chuckled.
"You are in a dress that cost me over three hundred dollars and onyx that cost more than half a million. I believe I have the right to tell you what to do." With that statement, his grip on my waist tightened. I felt my skin crawl, while anger boiled in the pit of my stomach.
I stayed silent, not knowing what to say or do, and not wanting to cause a scene. If mister Ivan agreed to attend this party, then the celebrant had to be important; both to him and society. He was a douchebag, but he did not deserve to be embarrassed in the way I desired to embarrass him.
As we walked, he stopped to greet, smile, and nod at almost every man and woman that walked past us. While I was forced to clash polite smiles and extend my hand for courtesy kisses. I could not help but wonder if this was Sarah's role in all their parties; the woman who stuck to his arm and only spoke when she was spoken to.
After a torturous one hour of smiling by his side, we stood in front of a cocktail bar.
"Wait here, the cruise will be arriving in thirty minutes. I need to have a brief word with the celebrant."
As he spoke, I followed his eyes to an old man. He was dressed in a neat lilac three-piece suit with a lady, seemingly three times younger than he was, clinging to his arm.
I snorted and looked away, fixing my eyes on the bar of drinks.
Mister Ivan gripped my right wrist and lowered his lips to my right ear.
"I mean it, Camilla. Do not move from here, I'll be able to watch you from here."
I did not reply to him, but he walked away from me anyway. I sighed as I watched him disappear into the crowd of richly dressed people. Mister Ivan must have known that whatever I could afford would be nowhere near acceptable here.
Perhaps, that was why he bought me a dress that cost more than I had ever made in my entire life. If my calculations were correct, I was currently putting on over one million dollars.
It was safe to say I looked like a million bucks.
I stood on the beach sand and allowed the cool breeze of the night to sweep past my face and bless the pores of my skin.
The bartender was nowhere in sight. I needed a drink, something citrus and mixed with alcohol. I continued to stand and watch, allowing the soft music and chatters from women and men around to fill my ears.
When I turned to where Ivan had stood, he was not there anymore. I focused my eyes on the crowd and started to search for him.
He had told me to stay here because he would be able to watch me from there, so where the hell was…?
Suddenly, I felt a cold metal press against the right side of my rib.
I froze at that instant. I could not who stood beside me, but I sure as hell knew that the metal being pressed to my stomach was a barrel.
The barrel of a motherfucking gun!
Panic seized my chest, fear made it impossible to breathe. I tried to open my mouth to scream, but the next statement froze both my lips and my voice.
"It's a silencer." The male voice muttered into my right ear.
"It would kill you before they even know you were ever here."