Something like love

AUTHOR
~•~
Voices.
He could hear them all around him, echoing from a distance. It surprised him how he could hear people speak despite the ringing in his ears. He did not know where he was, but the smell of bleach that stole its way into his nostrils told him he was in a hospital room.
No other place in the world could reek of such a harsh disinfectant.
"Is he going to be okay?" The female voice asked. Something in Ivan sparked up. He stretched his hand slowly, as though reaching out to grab the voice.
"He suffered a major heart attack, which is very strange for someone as young as he is. But with his medical history and the situation he was in, there is nothing we can completely rule out now, is there?" The female doctor spoke.
Camilla heaved a heavy sigh, adjusted her glasses on her face and slipped her hands into the pockets of her jean trousers.
"What about the baby? The two-year-old boy, would he be alright?"
"Both of the kids are still…shaken. It's not everyday a child sees three dead bodies side by side. What the children went through was terrible. All they need is time, love and support. Trust me, they could all use therapy right now."
"She's right about that."
Camilla turned sharply in the direction of the voice. Ivan's eyes were opened as he lay flat on his back. The bruises on his face were patched up, the very deep ones had been stitched. Tears welled up in Camilla's eyes. Her heart warmed with gratitude.
She rushed over to him. With one swift move, Camilla picked up his right hand and pressed it to her cold lips.
Ivan slowly examined her. Her brown hair danced all over her face and shoulders, her peach coloured shirt was stained with blood and dirt. Her brown eyes continued to dance around his and her pale red lips were almost ice cold. He saw a teardrop run down her left eye and his lips thinned into a sad smile.
"Now, now, Camilla. Don't cry, that is not my favorite thing to see you do." He said out loud.
His voice was low, as though he was struggling to make himself heard. Camilla feigned a frown even as she sniffed in her tears.
"And don't you ever scare me like that again. I thought…I thought I had lost you. You started holding your chest and saying you couldn't breathe and then you continued to gasp for air until you passed out. The children were so scared. I have to tell them you're awake." Ivan watched the words stroll out of her beautiful lips. He did not know the words to explain the feeling in his heart, but he knew that he loved it, he loved the way her presence made him feel safe.
Even in the white walls of the hospital, Ivan felt at home.
She turned to leave the room, but Ivan seized her left wrist. Camilla felt her heart skip several beats at once. The skin of her wrist where he touched her sent signals to the rest of her body. The warmth did not only reach her legs, but it spread to other parts of her skin. When he held her, Camilla felt as though she could never be hurt by anything in the world, it did not matter that he was in a hospital bed.
She was willing to swear that she would always be there to protect him, it did not matter what she had to pass through.
Camilla had never felt anything like it, not even for Frankie. She wanted to be there for him, for his children.
Freddie was right. She had not ever felt this way for any of her patients. Mister Ivan was different.
"Don't go. I don't want to stop seeing your face just yet." His deep baritone felt like silk in her ears. Her cheeks turned a dark shade of red and she smiled and shook her head. Camilla turned to face him.
"You can't keep me with you forever, mister Ivan." She replied in her fruity voice. Ivan chuckled, Camilla had never seen his eyes so pure before. Free of worry, free of spite.
He was bare, naked in front of her; not physically, but emotionally.
The great wall of China he had built around himself when she first met him had crumbled to the ground.
"Says who? I'm rich. I can do whatever I want." Ivan added, he made an attempt to wink at her but was not fully successful because his head throbbed.
Camilla threw her head back in laughter.
"You're crazy, mister Ivan. You know that, don't you?"
"That's funny. You made me everything I am today."
Camilla's laughter disappeared from her face. There was a feeling she could not quite explain, but it seemed to look and feel a lot like…love.
Ivan did not know when it all started. Perhaps it was the time she screamed his name from his front door after he fired her, willing to offer her services for free. Maybe it was all the times she let him rest on her shoulder. Maybe it was all the times she repeatedly tried to break through his boundaries. Maybe it was their first kiss, maybe it was their first night together. Who knows? It could have been watching her walk away with a gun to her back, realizing that he could lose her and never see her again.
It could have also been when he looked up, even after resigning to fate, only to see her face.
Maybe it was how she walked in like his guardian angel, ready and willing to rescue him.
Maybe it was how she always came back no matter how many times he pushed her away.
He did not know exactly which one it was, but Ivan knew that he never wanted to have this woman leave his sight.
"Camilla, I know that I am a big mess now. Hell! I've always been a big mess. But I cannot thank you enough for always being there, for caring for me. You showed me what it felt like to have someone genuinely want to see you smile. You made me laugh, you made me want to lose my mind…"
Camilla's chuckle stole into his speech. The both of them laughed.
"I do not know the word to express the feeling I have right now, and I swear it is not because my head feels like it wants to split into two. But, I always want to have you around me, Camilla. I always want to be around you, want my kids around you."
"Does that mean you want me to move in with you again?" She asked, fighting back the tears of joy that rushed to her eyes.
"Yes, Camilla. Please move in with me."
She laughed, even though tears escaped her eyelids and stained her face.
"As your doctor, or?" She added, her right brow arched.
In one fast move, Ivan used her hand to pull her to himself. She fell on his lap and their lips crashed against each other's.
Ivan kissed her. He kissed her with all the passion that she had ignited in his soul, he kissed her with the intention of never letting her go.
Camilla pulled away from him. If he continued to kiss her like that, they might have to get a bigger bed.
Ivan's blue eyes sparkled in laughter as he looked up at her.
"I'm pretty sure I know the answer now."
Camilla blushed.
"What is it?"
Ivan chuckled.
"Or."
Camilla feigned a frown as she playfully punched him.
It would take time, she knew it would. But for the first time in her life, she was willing to give what she felt for him a fighting chance.
It did not matter if she got hurt, she was learning not to fear that anymore.
With Ivan, she believed that the good times would always outweigh the bad.
He had loved once and he had been hurt. But he had faith that whatever he had to go through, Camilla would always be by his side.
That realization was more than enough for the both of them.