Fuck me, please

CAMILLA
~•~

"Cam! Camilla!"
She continued to call after me, while I stomped out of the restaurant. But, I could not hear her, the only sounds I could hear were the sounds of my forced chuckles, and the sound of my heart breaking.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my palm, but the tears would not stop flowing.
I lost my mother because of him, and now, he has taken my sister away from me.
Whenever I saw him, some kind of loss always seemed to follow.
I was tired, so tired of everything that had to do with him.

Freddie's house was a ten minutes walk from the restaurant, but I was not sure I could walk without falling to the ground. I boarded a taxi and stuck my eyes outside the window, so I would not drive past his house.
His car was in his driveway when I alighted from the taxi. I had never been more happy to see that car in my life.

I took wobbly steps towards his door and knocked on it once. I waited for three minutes, but there was no reply. I sniffed back my tears and knocked again. This time, I pressed the doorbell as well, but there was still no answer.
My pain was tearing at the seams of my chest. I could barely continue to stand, I could barely move an inch.
I was torn between standing frozen and falling to the ground.

"Freddie!" I screamed at the top of my voice. No matter where he was, what he was doing, I needed him to hear me. I needed him to come down and I needed him to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be alright.
More than ever, I needed my best friend by my side.

"Freddie! It's Camilla! Please answer the door! I'm really sorry, even though I do not know what I'm sorry for…I just…" My tears choked my voice, rendering me speechless. I banged the door with my fists. His neighbors were beginning to cast concerned gazes.

"Freddie! Please! I need you!" I continued to bang furiously, but there was still no reply. In anger, I pulled myself away from his porch and walked back to the road.
I knew he was in there, his car was looking right at me.

I boarded a taxi back to Haven estate, and a cab back to mister Ivan's house. As I climbed down from the taxi, I found him on the terrace, looking down at the road with a glass of orange liquid in his hands.
I did not know why, but immediately our eyes locked, I bursted into tears and dashed into the house.
Immediately I picked up my pace, I saw him turn his back.

I pushed the door of the house open and allowed it bang itself shut behind me.
I dashed up the stairs, headed straight towards my room.
I slipped my hand into my purse, shaking fingers and found my keys.
I slotted the key into the keyhole and was about to turn it open, when I found mister Ivan running towards me.
My heart skipped more beats than I could count. I quickly turned the door lock, pushed it open and was going to bang it shut, but a strong force at the other end pushed it open.

I pushed back with all my strength, but it was no match for his strength. He pushed the door open and walked into the room.
I staggered back, seeking to collapse on my bed, but even my bed felt far away from me.

His eyes narrowed on mine, while tears continued to flow from my eyes.
I could feel my knuckles ache, my chest burn. It was hard, so hard for me to breathe.

He took one step forward, towards me. I tried to brush past him and run out of the door, but he locked the door and blocked the knob with his tall frame.

"You…you have to get out of here." I started. He frowned at me.
"Not until you tell me what's wrong, Camilla." He bit back.

My eyes traveled up to meet his blue ones.
Today, they were not cold, they were not aloof. They were concerned, filled with care.
I did not want that, I did not want him to look at me like that.
It made my knees weak, made my resolve even weaker.

Soon, I found myself crumbling against his chest. I had expected to be allowed to fall to the ground, but immediately my face hit his chest, his thick arms engulfed me like a blanket.
He held onto me, firmly, as though he were scared that I would slip and break.
He did not speak, he did not ask me to speak.
He just held me in his arms and allowed me to wet his shirt with my tears.

I looked up at him, and his eyes danced down to meet mine.

Call it grief, call it desperation, call it anger, or whatever name you please, but no one can blame me for what I did next.

Immediately our eyes locked, I tiptoed and cupped his cheeks with my palms.
Before he could open his mouth to speak, I sealed his lips with mine.
Silencing him, and making way for my conscience and thoughts to scream at me.

He parted his lips and eased entry into my mouth.
His huge hands clutched my waist, his fingers spread across my butt. I didn't care, I couldn't care about anything else besides the taste and feel of his lips on mine.

When we kissed, I found myself carried away by a fantasy of raw pride that I could hardly admit to myself that I was having him. I could only wonder what he thought as his hands ran down my body.
Did he think I was beautiful? Did he want me against the bed? The door? The floor? The wall?

His hands moved to my inner thigh, rounded the curve of my ass. I wrapped my arms around his sweaty neck, while his fingers grazed the moist wetness in my panties.
I had not put on shorts, just my pair of lace panties. He pushed the lace fabric to the side and eased his index finger into me.

I felt waves of pleasure sweep me off my feet. But it was no ordinary pleasure, it was all him.
I dug my fingers into the skin of his neck, while he continued to pump in and out of me, turning every bone in my body into nothing but jelly.

This wasn't right. His wife and children could be just a door away from us. Whichever way this ended, I was going to be hurt.
He was eventually going to leave me and go back to them. They always did, my father did.

Yet, I found myself tied to him. I found myself parting my legs and deepening our kiss. I smiled when his fingers reached my core and grunted in satisfaction.

And when I opened my mouth to speak, against his lips, I did not bother to take my words back.

"Fuck me, please."