Going back home

CAMILLA
~•~

They say you do not know the value of what you have until you lose it. I do not think I understood that statement until I had the barrel of a gun pressed to the right side of my stomach.
As he spun me around, growling behind me to follow him, my mind wandered back to many things.
I thought about my fight with Tehilah, how Freddie was still mad at me, and all the times I could have decided to forgive that I held grudges.
I thought about mister Ivan's lips against mine, our bodies tangled in a pleasurable mix of sweat and reproductive juices. I wondered, just for a brief moment, if I regretted any of it.
And the answer was no.

I wished that I had seen my mother on the day she died, I wished that I had said goodbye, held her hand, and kissed her hair. I wished that I had told her there was more to life than stupid men and Tehilah and I was never going to leave her as my father had left her.
I wished I had seen the signs earlier and was able to stop her.

I wished I had tried harder to convince Frankie's mother to keep him in the US. I wished I had fought hard, even broken ethical codes - just like I had comfortably done for mister Ivan - for Frankie. Maybe if I had involved the law and other childcare services, maybe if I had taken the bold step to report his parents for some form of negligence, just maybe he would still be alive. He would have not had to die at such an age.

"You know how to bite off more than you can chew? Don't you?" The man whispered behind my back. I felt the hairs at the back of my skin stand erect. Tears formed in my eyelids as I felt myself begin to shiver.
Dying was not one of the things on my to-do list, at least not now.

"What…what do you want? I promise I promise I'm not the one you're searching for." I tried to speak, but he seized hold of my neck with his right arm and pulled my head backward.

"If you utter one more word, I'll blow your brains out here and there. And that would be a shame. You're beautiful, I intend to let us have a lot of fun before I send you to hell."

I could not recognize the voice, so why did it sound like he had a personal issue with me? I was not perfect, but I had always made sure to stay as far away from trouble as I could. I tried to turn my neck to look at his face, but he pushed my head forward and gripped my waist, still pressing the gun to my stomach.

"You would be a good girl and follow me to my car. We are going on a long trip, baby girl. A very long trip. You would enjoy it, trust me."

I could not stop the tears that ran down my eyes. I was scared, so scared. I had seen heroines in movies freeze in such situations, I remembered myself screaming a million things they could to escape their captors. But, at that moment, I could not even bring myself to move without his push.

"Please. Please just let me go. I do not know who you are, I haven't done anything. You have to let me…"

"Shut up! And smile!" He snapped. When I looked ahead, I saw a couple staring at us. I forced a broad smile.

"Laugh." He spat out.
What?!

"Laugh goddamnit!"

I forced out a loud laugh from my throat, but I only ended up snorting.

The couple looked away from us and he continued to lead me away from the beach.

The next thing I heard was the sound of glass shattering against something, his loud cry followed and three gunshots blasted in the air. I stood frozen, still trying to make sense of everything.

When I finally managed to turn back, mister Ivan was there with arms wide open.

"Camilla, Run!" I heard him scream at the top of his voice. My heart swelled with joy, he did not need to speak twice. I held my dress up and ran as fast as I could. I did not stop to breathe, I did not stop to look back.
I did not stop until I crashed into the muscular wall of his chest. I had never been so grateful to see him in my life.

We fell to the ground and I lost track of everything else. I could only feel myself being lifted from the ground, my teeth gritting from the cold, and my fingers and every knuckle in my body felt frozen.

I only knew that I was returning home, back to LA where life made sense.

When I finally opened my eyes, I was in my room in mister Ivan's house. I struggled to part my eyelids, they felt heavy, like a rock had fallen on top of it.

I tried to sit up, but my head felt like it would split into seven unequal parts.

"Don't. Just relax." The soothing voice managed to calm my mind. I wished I could get aspirin for my aching head.

I found mister Ivan seated beside me. He was wearing a gray Adidas cardigan and matching gray shorts. His hair was wet like he had just washed it and I could smell the sexy mix of sweat and cologne oozing from him.

"You need all the rest you can get for your trip back home." He continued.

I blinked twice. My headache seemed to double, and my brow arched in confusion.
What was he talking about?
I had just woken up from what felt like a coma and he was talking about sending me home.

What the hell was even wrong with this man?

I placed my right palm on my pounding forehead as I narrowed my eyes on him.

"What…what are you talking about?"

I saw him shift in his seat before he spoke.
"Once you're well-rested, I would have to see to it that you are taken back to your home. The place you lived before you came here, mister Fredrick Turner's house." He stated. His tone was definite, as though he had given his decision a long thought.

My eyes widened in disbelief.
Surely, he could not be serious. I corked my head to the sides to examine his face. Maybe if I looked hard enough, I would see a smile at some corner, something to tell me that he did not mean what he had just said.
And how the hell did he even know about Freddie?

"I own almost ten percent of America's riches. Surely you do not think that I can't track whoever I wish to track down, do you?"
He said out loud, giving me an audible answer to my inaudible question.

"I don't understand." It was all I managed to say.
"Why? Why would you send me back home? After…everything, I thought that we…"

His eyes darkened as he frowned at me.

"That what? We have a future together?"

Okay. He got me there. I felt a strange feeling in my stomach, the type of feeling you got when you knew your heart was about to be broken.
I just wished he had given me the aspirin first. I wasn't sure I could cope with heartache and headache at the same fucking time!

"You knew from the beginning, Camilla. I am a married man, with children, none of that is ever going to change. Sarah, Tina, and Tommy…whoever he may be, are my family, all that I have and know. I cannot lose them, and I…cannot lose you."

My brown eyes continued to dance around his blue ones. Never in my life had I heard someone reject another person so thoughtfully. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he was letting me go for my good.

"You need to be far away from me, Camilla. You do not belong in my world. It is too dangerous for you."

I had been threatened by two women and almost killed by a man, all in less than one month. Yes, I did see his point.

"But…"

"There are no buts, Camilla Theodore. I have asked my accountants to send you the sum of a hundred thousand dollars. When you've gotten home and you have rested, I need you to go away from the country. Wherever you please, contact my accountant and I would approve a sum for it. Whoever came for you cannot find you again, Camilla. They shouldn't."

"Are you saying it was…deliberate?" I had to ask. It still did not make sense, not even to me.
I was hurt, beyond pain. But there was nothing I could do.
He was right, I had known what I was getting into. Yet, I decided to dive in headfirst.
I could not blame him or anyone else, it was all my doing.

"I'm saying you are in danger." He spat out. The sentence sent chills up my spine.

After having a light meal of toast and tea, mister Ivan's driver drove me to Freddie's house. Freddie must have been informed of my arrival because he texted me ten minutes before I left mister Ivan's home.

When the Range Rover pulled up in front of Freddie's apartment, I found him standing at the door with his hands in the pocket of his white jean shorts.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I stood in front of the car and stared at him. I didn't care that he had ignored me for days, none of that mattered.

All that mattered was that when I ran into his arms, his arms were wide open to receive me.