Our father

CAMILLA
~•~
I pulled away from him in that instant. His scent was strong all over me, my heart was racing. I could barely hear the California breeze blow past his window, into the room, not when all my ears could pick up was the sound of my heart hammering against my chest.
His taste lingered on my lips, the places he touched me burned with desire for him.
I did not want to stop. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and deepen his kiss, I wanted to take one step further and pull his joggers down from his waist. I wanted to touch him all over his naked skin, feel the warmth of his soft flesh against mine.
But I could not do any of that, not when I had to be wary of the working relationship between us.
I had crossed so many lines with him already, crossing another one would be plunging myself into destruction. I regretted breaking the kiss immediately I did. But, I knew I would regret losing my license more if anything ever went wrong - which was bound to happen, if I continued on my dangerous path.
I pushed the door of his room open and ran into mine. I shut his door in his face, and banged my door behind me. I locked it with the keys and fastened the bolt of the door. There was no telling if he would come over to my room and want to finish what we had already started. I was not scared of him, it was myself I feared.
With my growing physical desire for him, I knew that if he ever kissed me again, that would be the end of every resolve I had tried to put up.
His body was like a magnet. No matter how many times I tried to bring myself to stay away from him, nothing ever worked out. He was always there.
I pressed my back against my door and held on to my chest, in an attempt to steady my breathing. I could not seem to relax or keep my thoughts together. They were everywhere, scattered all around my head.
Hot sweat broke out from my forehead, I dabbed it with the back of my palm.
This was not right, none of it was right. Coming here was a bad idea, a very bad one. I needed to leave, I needed to be away from him before I completely lost myself.
Freddie was right, he had always been right.
What was I thinking? What did I think coming here would do for me?
Antonio had warned me. He had specifically asked me to be careful because mister Ivan…well, from what I had seen him do with the blonde woman, I pretty much knew the kind of man he was.
A typical LA "playman".
He had the money, the power, the fame, and thus thought that everyone would want to kiss his feet for that.
He had not even bothered to ask me! He just leaned into me and kissed me, how did he know that I wanted to be kissed?!
What made him think that I wanted his soft lips to lock with mine and drown my mind in his minty taste?!
What made him feel like I wanted his hands around my skin, touching me in sensual places I had not been touched in a long time?
Who told him that I wanted to be placed on his bed and fucked thoroughly? That I wanted to dig my fingers into his dark and pull them out, while screaming his name at the top of my voice?
And what the hell am I even thinking?!
No. This was getting too much, far too much.
I ran to my bed and picked up my phone with shaking hands.
I could not think of anything else, besides the way hunger flashed in his eyes, before his lips against mine blinded me.
I dialed Freddie's number immediately. He was my best friend, he was the only one who would know what to say in situations like this.
Freddie always knew the right things to say, the best things to do.
I just never listened to him.
The dial tone came on, I could hear the phone ring. It continued to ring for another thirty seconds before his voicemail tone popped up.
"Hello there! This is Freddie Turner. My phone is always by my side so if I didn't pick this, I do not want to speak to you. Do not bother calling again, Ciao."
Ouch.
For the first time in so many years of knowing Freddie, that actually hurt.
Maybe because this time, I knew that it might be correct.
Ever since we had our small row, he had not spoken to me, not even sent a sticker.
I was getting really fed up, and it was only a matter of time until I went to the LA tribune to request his audience.
Who stayed mad at their best friend for that long?
Now that he was pissed at me, I had no one to talk to.
But, I had to talk to someone cause it felt as though I had just made the biggest mistake of my life.
I continued to scroll down my contacts when I found my sister's name.
Tehilah.
I frowned, but I clicked on it anyway.
She deserved to listen to my life's problems without judging me. After literally chasing me out of her house, I am sure I deserved that much.
She picked up at the first ring, unlike some other people.
Her high pitched voice rang in my ears from the other side of the phone.
"Camilla?" She called out.
I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh. Yes, I was mad at her, but she was the only family I had left. It was better I put whatever happened behind us aside, learn the necessary lessons, and move on.
"Camilla! Oh my God, I'm so glad you called! I have been trying to reach you for so long! There is so much I need to tell you Camilla, so much you need to know."
I did not know when I pulled the phone away from my ears and stared at the screen with an arched left brow.
Was she serious right now?
I pressed the phone back to my right ear again.
"Camilla, are you there?"
I swallowed hard and nodded.
"Yes, yes, of course I am."
I could not even speak to her about the reason I had called. She was probably about to tell me all about the stress of her wedding preparation, while I had just kissed my patient! A fairly mentally unstable man! Do forgive my choice of words, but I sometimes lose myself.
Really, what the hell was going on?
"Camilla, I found dad. Dad is here! In LA!"
She screamed out.
Wait. What?
Did she really just say she found our father? The one who deserted us when I was six and she nine? The one who came into our mother's life anytime he pleased and left her more broken than before? The one who my mother loved so much, that it drove her to end her life?
THE MAN WHOSE NAME MY MOTHER'S SUICIDE NOTE WAS DIRECTED TO, EVEN THOUGH SHE KNEW HE WOULD NEVER READ IT?!
She had found the man that ruined our mother's life, our lives. So why did she sound so excited?
I felt a new wave of anger surge from within me. My lips began to tremble, while I tried to make out the words to say to her.
"We've spoken dear. He wants to see you, when will you be able to make it?"
I swallowed hard. Was she serious right now?
I opened my mouth to speak, but a voice that cried out from the corridor was louder.
"Mister Ivan!"
The sound of glass shattering followed it. I turned sharply to my door, my eyes widened in shock.
Something was happening out there, and to mister Ivan.
"Camilla, what is…?"
"I'll call you later." I spat out, and ended the call.
I rushed to the door of my room and flung it open.