Dangerous Woman II
Camila's POV
Inhale.
Everything was a lie.
Exhale.
I was trapped.
If I wanted to calm down I needed to breathe, I needed air. I needed to breathe fresh air, air that wasn't trapped inside of this box with me.
In a heart beat, I'm up and running towards the big black door. Pulling, pounding and when it doesn't budge dread pools in my stomach.
I was really locked in here.
And the panic starts snowballing.
I needed to find a way out.
The water was still running in the bathroom which told me that Alejandro was preoccupied for the time being. I didn't even have time to think about it too much because it was starring me right in the face.
The window was huge.
I needed to poke a hole in the box.
The lamp on Alejandro's nightstand was fairly large and heavy and after running around trying to find something, anything, I was lifting the object and running towards the window.
I threw it from a distance but it was still enough to break through the barrier and give me a peek at the air outside.
It was liberating and so satisfying, I could breathe and the walls weren't caving in anymore.
Walking closer to the hole, I smile thinking about how I had found a way to break a barrier all on my own. My movements were still slow and being processed at a much slower pace than my body was moving. But I was determined to reach up and put my hand through.
I wanted out. Only when I reach up to put my hand through, I'm lifted and dragged back by a grip on my waist.
Screaming, kicking, and doing anything I could to get them off me I move and squirm as the panic starts to rise once again.
And my fight or flight senses kick in when I realise Alejandro is the one dragging me away from my air. My freedom.
My screams turn more frantic and I fight harder against him. "No! You can't take me away. Please! Don't lock me up!" I sob as I continue to thrash against him.
I block out his shouts and screams. I wasn't going to listen to his words, they would only make the panic worse.
It wasn't until we fell to the floor and he broke my fall that I got the upper hand and crawled on top of him. I'm shouting, screaming and beating down on his bare chest as I sob continuing to fight against him.
But he still ends up gripping my wrists, stopping my movements but not my sobs.
"amila! Stop!"
But my hands don't stop for long, because I continue to hit his chest and push him away. I was fighting back, growing up, setting myself free.
And when I'm able to open my ready eyes and look down at the sight before me my sobs turn into hysterical screams.
"No...No...No..." I mumble frantically as I shake my head and look down at the blood. It was everywhere. All over Alejandro's bare chest and the towel wrapped around his hips.
So much blood.
I slowly lift my shaking hands and a chocked sob rakes through my body as I shake and register what I had just done. "I didn't mean to..." I cry frantically slumping my shoulders and dropping the shard of glass in my hand.
What had I done?
I don't even remember picking up the piece of glass and when I look up to meet Alejandro's eyes starring back at me, in shock. I sob even harder as he tries to process everything while my eyes trail down to his bare chest that's heaving, where cuts and scratches peek through all the blood.
I frantically shake my head. "I-It was a mistake." I sob, "I didn't mean to." I murmur but it's muffled by another chocked sob.
His voice is nothing but an echo in my mind. "It's okay, it's okay. You didn't mean it, I'm fine." He says softly.
But I don't believe him as another sob rakes through my body. "I swear I didn't mean it. I swear I didn't mean it. I swear I didn't mean it." I chant to myself.
What was wrong with me? I was a monster. I just attacked Alejandro and he was okay with it.
I feel hands come up to softly grip mine. "Let me see." He says softly his voice louder in my mind. He flips my palms upwards and I look down at the blood on my hand, it's not all his.
It's mine.
I suck in a breath at the loads of cuts and shards of glass still implanted in my hands. My hands that look completely destroyed.
"Cazzo, cosa ho fatto." I hear him breathe under his breath as he shakes his head and stares up at me. I only sob harder as he sits up grunting as he does so, "Let's get you cleaned up." (Fuck, what have I done)
I move off of him slowly as I look around, blinking and registering my surroundings. It's like my mind finally decides to start working at the same speed as my body, allowing me to finally register what I had just done.
I look towards the window, the window that's completely shattered, were shards of glass spill everywhere across the floors. His bed is completely ruined with the sheets spewed all across the floor and his things are thrown everywhere.
It looks like a tornado flew through the room.
Did I do all this?
I look back up to Alejandro in horror, as guilt and fear of what I had just done fills me. He swallows thickly staring down at me as he stands and I can tell he's taken back by all this.
His chest is all bloody and his face is flushed in shock and horror as he stares down at me, and when my eyes meet his I see guilt and shame pass through them. He holds his hand out to me. "It's okay. You didn't mean to. Come on, Principessa." He says softly.
And I shake my head, as more tears spill from my eyes and I can do nothing but slump against the floor.
I wanted him to hold me and tell me it was all better, I really did. But he was the reason I was feeling this way, he was the reason I did this.
I wasn't the monster. He was.
"You-you locked the door." I cry and instead of taking his outstretched hand, I bring my bloody hands up to my face and softly sob into my palms as I curl into a ball on the floor. "You-you took my phone."
But then my sobs turn frantic as I look up at Aley who's staring down at me with so much concern and heartbreak. "You made me feel so weak and helpless and now you're trying to help me?!"
His face completely falls, as he looks down at me, mortified because he knows it's true.
This is all his doing. He locked me in here. He took my freedom. He needed to see what he did to me.
"You're taking away my freedom! You're worse than every other disgusting man I've encountered! Worse than them all! You're nothing but a disgusting monster! I don't want your help!" I scream as sobs of anger rake through me.
I see him swallow thickly as his frantic eyes stare into mine. He's pleading, pleading with me to take the words back. To tell him it's not true and I didn't mean it. But I do no such thing and when he realises I'm serious he drops his head in shame and defeat.
So unlike yesterday. A rare moment of weakness.
Alejandro may have power over me but not as much as I thought. Somewhere in that fucked up heart of his, he cared for me deeply and if I had to exploit that care to save myself, I would.
I was done being naive, I was done depending on others to take care of me. I was done wanting to be loved because none of these people were worth it.
Everyone I had loved was a monster.
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