Kiss it Better II
She doesn't need to talk to a guardian because I'm 19 years old, but of course she does because she's a bitch.
I didn't want Alejandro to be aware of something about which I already felt shame.
"Camila is a musical genius at our school. Numerous art schools have sent representatives from all over the nation to see her play".
Alejandro nods and smiles at me, indicating his approval.
However, I do not embrace it because I am aware of the coming problem.
"However, upon coming they all have the same concern," Maggie murmurs while glancing at me.
" I worry that Camila won't be able to get her diploma given the way her grades in other classes are going down".
Did she have to tell Alejandro, of all people, that I was failing? My heart sinks. Instead of fear, I am consumed by anger and shame.
"I'm very concerned because she's failing some of her classes." Alejandro gets into his seat and leans forward.
"As such?"
"Math, science, and writing make up the majority. She is amazing at writing music, but I'm worried that she might not be doing her best work in other subjects". Maggie responds and gives me a look.
"I am aware that Juilliard has had their eye on you, and they have requested a high school diploma in order for you to be offered the position."
Then fuck Juilliard. I was amazing at what I did, and if they were going to let a stupid piece of paper prevent me from being accepted, it shows that they really don't understand how great my gift is.
"What can I do to make sure she gets her spot at Juilliard or another school of her choice after she graduates?"
As Alejandro speaks, tears well up in my eyes. It's humiliating that Alejandro has to hear her call me stupid, and she's calling me stupid.
"I would suggest getting a tutor to start. Given that she would require some additional attention..
. As I lean back in my chair and continue to block out their voices as they talk about me, I continue to block out the remainder of the conversation.
And then maybe we could—" Regarding my stupidity, no. I wasn't lazy or stupid. I exerted a lot of effort.
I was familiar with the material, but whenever we came to a test, I would simply... Flunk. It was the worst feeling of my life, and the fact that Alejandro was here to hear about my failure made it even worse.
As the humiliation sets in, my head is pounding and my heart is sinking by the end of the entire hour.
Maggie and Alejandro stand to say their goodbyes, but it all becomes so overwhelming that I can no longer be there.
I dash out of the office and look for Alejandro's stupid car in the parking lot.
Since Alejandro permitted me to open the convertible's roof on the drive here, it is fortunate that the roof is off.
I try not to cry as I cram into the car and sit in the passenger seat with my groin exposed. I don't look at him as he gets into the driver's seat and starts the car after I hear him approaching.
The rest of the way home, neither of us speak, nor do I glance over at him. All the while, my mind wanders to darker places as the silence continues.
Did he now think I was stupid? A foolish youngster who could not even pass a basic class?
Was he going to look at me with that look in their eyes or laugh at me like everyone else did?
The expression of shock and outrage at my inability to comprehend such straightforward ideas?
It hurt because I had expected it from everyone else but not from Alejandro.
I jumped out of the car before Alejandro could even come to a complete stop because it hurt so badly when we got to the front door.
I don't want to face him or anyone else, but I hear him calling after me. As a result, my eyes well up with tears and I run. I dash to my bedroom and hide under my bed's sheets.
Despite my desire, I was not alone. She was the only person who never made me feel ashamed, and I wanted her as my mother.
The assurance also vanished when she left. I freeze as I hurriedly wipe my cheeks as I hear the door to my room opening.
I was fortunate to be concealed so that the intruder could not see my pitiful face.
I can tell it's Alejandro just by the scent of his perfume, and I can feel the bed dip at my feet.
I just couldn't bring myself to confront him. to observe his disappointment and compassion. I was embarrassed and ashamed.
Before that firm voice with a sigh calls out my name, he remains silent for a moment. "Camila-" "Go away, I don't want to see anyone".
I say, hoping my voice wouldn't crack because I didn't want him to hear that I was crying. He speaks after a brief period of silence.
"Maggie suggested that you might act in this manner out of shame or embarrassment. Is that true?".
When I hear him move closer, I close my eyes and pray the tears will leave my eyes.
My silence is sufficient as an answer. "There is nothing embarrassing about you. No one will judge you because we all face difficulties".
As I pull myself out of bed and turn to look at his massive frame perched on the edge of my bed, I sniffle. "Really?" My voice is soft and hopeful as I ask.
I look up at him with tears in my eyes, a rare moment of pure vulnerability, and he appears to be aware of this by slightly lowering his serious demeanor. "Yes, child." "Come here," he sighs as his eyes flicker across my face.
He gently commands, extending his arm to lead me toward him.