Teddy Bear III
I was fucking hard. But that was normal right? Whiskey was my Viagra.
That shit made me feel like a child, blindly chasing after something without the thought of the consequences.
Aside from all the other reasons, I couldn't have her. She's too young.
What the fuck was I doing? Nineteen. She's nineteen, an age I'd never even think to fuck a woman at.
I force my mind away from her as I remove my clothes and throw on my joggers, ignoring the urge to have my dick shoved into something tight and warm.
Camila. She was tight, extremely tight and warm, so fucking warm.
No-I didn't want that.
But when I glance down to see my hand subconsciously rubbing at the crotch of my sweats, I know that's not the case. I still my hand, groaning out in agony, both at the fact that I have to stop and the fact that I put myself in this situation.
Why couldn't I just get a fucking grip? Anger bubbles in my chest and the sudden need to release all my pent up rage consumed my thoughts.
A release is what you need to take the edge off...
No- I'd rather destroy everything in my room with my own bare hands.
I didn't want Camila like that. It wasn't like that.
I wanted her to hold me. Nothing else.
Her hugs, her kisses, her head scratches and back scratches. I fucking loved that shit.
Yet I couldn't do that. I couldn't touch her anymore because that would only hurt her. Confuse her.
The one person I grew to need and I fucking had to ruin it.
Yet even when I glance up at my arm rested against the door frame, while my other hand reaches up to knock on the white door, I don't think anything of it.
I don't register what I'm doing until the door opens and a sleepy blue eyed Camila is blinking up at me through tired eyes.
She rubs at her eyes, and my heart squeezes at the sight of her. So small and perfect. A true little Angel.
"What do you want?" She mumbles. I don't say anything and just watch as her brows furrow into a look of confusion as she stands before me in a little dress-one that's too skimpy for my drunk self.
But I focus on her face as the unimpressed look turns into one of concern as her brows furrow. "What the hell happened to you?"
She moves forward to take my hand and it's only then that I look down to the blood seeping from my knuckles and spilling onto the floor.
Huh, I guess I did try to destroy my bedroom with my bare hands.
I look back up to her face. Christo, so fucking adorable. Like a teddy bear and suddenly now I understand why she had the ones from her childhood in the corner of her room. They were so fucking cute, just like her.
"Il mio orsacchiotto." I murmur smiling down at her. (My teddy bear)
She ignores me. Before grabbing onto my wrist, pulling me further into her room as she walks us towards her bathroom.
She doesn't speak to me and I silently watch her as she sits me down on the edge of the tub and walks around the room.
She looks tired and I try to catch her beautiful bright eyes but she doesn't look at me. "What's wrong, orsacchiotto?" (Teddy Bear)
I'm ignored once again.
She later returns with some gauze and disinfectant wipes as she takes my hand and starts to clean it, only meeting my eye briefly in passing as she moves around. But for the most part she stays silent, ignoring me.
My brows furrow as I look up at my teddy bear. Someone's made her sad. "Who's made you sad?" I say my frown turning into a sneer. I would kill whoever made her feel like this. Was it-
"You." She says bluntly like she's not in the mood to speak to me and when she finishes cleaning me up, she turns to leave. But I only let her take one step before I'm pulling her back and spreading my legs to have her stand closer to me, in between them.
She looks at me, her gaze annoyed as I try to catch her soft eyes but they seem to be gone. "I didn't mean to, amore."
I cared for Camila more than I cared for anyone else, I didn't want her to be upset with me.
For the first time all night she meets my eye and it's then I see all the hurt and defeat in her eyes."But you did." She whispers softly.
I shake my head and stare into her beautiful eyes.
She's yours.
She's so perfect, too perfect for me. Which is why I couldn't ruin her. I was already pushing it with the want to keep our relationship how it was, without acting on my attraction. Even if I wanted her so badly it hurt.
I take her arms and wrap them around my neck as I pull her forward, with this position her face is only an inch away from mine and our heads are leveld allowing me to stare into her eyes that are so confused.
"Alejandro, what did you want?" She grits, her face hard and her walls up.
I just want to see her smile. The way her eyes crinkle and her dimples pop out. The way her head tilts to the side as she bites her bottom lip and looks up at me with that gleam in her eyes. That gleam that says when she looks up at me she doesn't see a monster but someone she cares for.
"I'm just scared." I murmur shutting my eyes and resting my forehead against hers.
She tenses but after a moment she responds. "Of what?"
"Of ruining what we have. Orsacchiotto, I can't go beyond what we have because If I do, you'll hate me." I breathe, sighing out as my shoulders drop.
Confusion coats her words. "Why would I hate you?"
I don't give into her snoopiness. "You're going to have to trust me." She doesn't respond, telling me she's hesitant. And when she goes to pull away, I grab her waist and pull her back. "Please don't make me ruin it."
I open my eyes to see hers clicking around my face, like she's trying to understand me but can't. She gives up with a small shake of her head. "Whatever." And she turns her head, prepared to move away but I don't let her.
I didn't want her to leave. I didn't want it to end. I liked having her by my side, making me smile. I didn't feel alone anymore.
So, I pull her down onto my lap, grab her jaw and take her lips against mine.
It's more than any soft peck she's given me and I know it takes her by surprise because she freezes.
Before she can push away, I tilt my head, pushing my lips into hers, kissing her harder, coaxing her still lips until she slowly, almost hesitantly returns it.
I smile.
Her lips are soft, way better than any other teddy bear.
I softly work my lips against her sweet tasting ones. Her lips are so inviting that I find myself wanting to taste her mouth, but I don't.
This was just a kiss, a way to show her what words couldn't.
I cared for her.
Deepening it would take away the emotion and make it something more primal and I didn't want that.
She still hesitantly moves her lips slowly against mine, but I don't care because I love the feeling of her being so close to me. I pull her closer allowing my hand to move to the small of her back, but when she shlyly darts her tongue out to the seam of my lips, I stop and pull away.
"No tongue." I breathe against her lips. Tounge made it too erotic, and I knew I wouldn't be able to control myself.
As if blinking back into reality, she stares at me, "Are you drunk?"
And when she makes a move to get off my lap, I stand with her in my arms, and move towards her bedroom.
She yelps and immediately starts to protest, but they fall upon deaf ears as I make my way towards her bed.
"I want to sleep with my orsacchiotto." (teddy bear)
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