Nine hours III
Camila's POV
"Why would I?" My voice is soft and the sound of the water slightly muffles it but the way it echos in the space tells me he hears it.
Alejandro exhales heavily and I watch as his head drops."Why would you?" He repeats and I'm glad I can't see his face for I knew it would make me want to change my mind. "How about because you're the most important person in my life, Camila . There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. " He says, his voice thick with emotion and I swallow back mine.
"Am I?"
"Of course." He says wholeheartedly, his back straightening out and I purse my lips, moving to look down at my hands.
I hope my silence speaks for itself and tells him that I don't believe him. But when I see his hand form a fist by his side, I look back down and speak. "How long did it take you to figure out I was missing?"
Silence fills the space and I turn to look at him. His large dominating body slumps forward and he places his forehead on the glass of the shower wall in a sign of defeat. He knows that whatever comes out of his mouth next will prove my point and I exhale heavily, preparing for the hit.
"Nine hours."
It still hits hard, nearly knocking the wind out of me.
It took him nine hours to realise I was gone?
I shut my eyes and swallow back the sharp pill of disappointment. "And why did it take you so long?" I ask in a small voice, already knowing I'm not going to like the answer.
He bangs his head against the glass and I hold back the tears that want to escape. His hands moved to pull at his hair and I watch his entire body tense. "Because I was busy with Greta." He grits, his voice filled with defeat and guilt.
He's not trying to excuse his behaviour anymore. Instead he's owning up to it and finally realising what his actions have been doing to me. It's something I always wanted, but it doesn't feel any better.
I bite down on my lower lip suppressing the whimper that wants to escape as images fill my mind. Him laughing with Greta, smiling and enjoying Miami, while I was being drugged and dragged around because the person that was supposed to protect me decided he's had enough of me.
"You ignored my texts?" I can't help the way my voice cracks as I stare at the back of his head.
He doesn't try to defend himself, instead his shoulders slump and he shakes his head. "Sono così dispiaciuto." He breathes under his breath over and over again. (I'm so sorry.)
I take a deep breath, it's shaky as I turn my body to face the back of his, the water from the shower hits my back but I'm too focused on staring at his. "So, you..." I clear my throat.
"You took my virginity and made me feel special- like I was the most important girl in the world to you." I trail, my voice cracking. "All so you could turn around the next day and treat Greta like you were just treating me, infront of me." My hands start to shake.
"And when I got upset, you blamed it on me, when it wasn't my fault that you didn't communicate with me." I take another deep breath as I force my voice to stay steady but it does nothing to hide the hurt in my tone.
"You constantly invalidate my feelings and... You just kicked me out." I sniffle as I wipe a stray tear.
I hear Alejandro's heavy breathing, but I ignore it. "And while I was lying unconscious in the trunk of a car, terrified. You were out with Greta, ignoring me."
Alejandro instantly spins around and I stare up at him. My tear filled eyes searching his. "How do you expect me to believe that you'd do anything for me, when all you do is treat me like complete shit?"
His frantic eyes meet mine and I watch him blink as he looks to the ground like he's trying to make sense of it all. "No... that's not." He breathes, shaking his head as he stops himself.
He looks back up into my eyes and I see the turmoil swimming in his. He's not making excuses for his behaviour anymore.
I watch him crumble, he resembles that of a fallen king. One that's realising everything he's worked so hard for has just begun to slip out of his hands.
He's not angry, he's not in denial. He's finally coming to terms with the consequences of his actions.
"If that's how you treat the most important person in your life..." I say, my eyes staring into his vulnerable ones that are looking at me with so much sorrow and conflicted emotions that I have to force out my next words. "Then I don't want to be in it."
His face completely falls, he shakes his head and I watch his chest start to heave and when he brings a hand out to rub at his chest, right above his heart, a sob threatens to escape. "I never meant to... I thought." His glossy brown eyes look into mine. "I'm doing it all for you." He breathes, his voice cracking like the weight of all his actions is finally starting to crush him.
I shake my head. "You never once considered or even talked to me about what I wanted. You just did what you thought was best for me."
I couldn't keep doing this.
He steps forward, bringing his hands out to cup my face as he tries to tilt it up to his but I move my face out of his grip, refusing to meet his eye.
Instead I drop my head and shut my eyes as I hear his heavy breathing. "No, baby, please." He murmurs, his voice broken.
I make a move to step back but he grabs onto my hips keeping me in place and when I snap my eyes open, he's on his knees before me, his eyes staring up at me.
Tears stream down my face and when his pleading eyes stare up into mine with so much remorse, I force myself to stand my ground as I watch him try and catch my eye. "I can't lose you. Not again. Please, Camila . " He breathes frantically. "I'll fix this."
A sob rakes through my body. "But all you do is hurt me." I sob grabbing onto his face as I finally look into his eyes. "I can't keep living like this, Alejandro."
He swallows thickly, his eyes glossy as he looks up at me. He grabs my hands and cups them in his hands and he looks into my eyes. "I'll fix it. I'll be better. Just..." He continues to search my eyes, "Just please don't give up on me."
I want to believe him and I almost do, but I'm overwhelmed with emotions and all I can offer him is a weak. "I don't know."
I watch his face fall as the water hits the side of it and when I can't take the way he's staring at me, I step back and walk out of the shower leaving him in there.
I make my way into the closet, change into my sleepwear and I slowly walk over to the bed. I get in the the far left side, knowing Alejandro always slept on the side closest to the door and this way we could put as much distance between us as possible.
I crawl into bed and wipe my tears away as I turn towards the wall and stare at the bland colour, hoping it will I'll me to seep.
But I can't seem to fall asleep.
Not when I hear the shower turn off moments later. Not when I hear him walk out of the bathroom. Not when I hear him emerge from the closet a moment later and not even when I feel the bed dip.
But I do force my eyes shut and even out my breathing when I feel him shuffle closer to me.
I was confused, I didn't know what I wanted and just when I think he's going to pull me against him and hold me, he simply brings his lips to my cheek.
He then shuffles back to his side, but not before breathing the words that make my heart stop.
"Ti amo." (I love you)
. . .
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