Failure III
What just happened?
It's not until he returns with the lotion in his hand that my confusion clears enough for me to watch his muscular form. Only in a pair of slacks, his broad shoulders, abs and narrow waist are on display. My eye follow the movement of his muscular arms trailing to the veins on his forearms and hands.
And then my gaze moves down to the tattoo on his side, his body was relatively untouched but before I could get a good look at it up close I peek up to see him looking down at me, a knowing glint in his eyes.
One that tells me he knows I was just checking him out.
I look away as he throws the lotion in-front of me before climbing onto the bed and moving towards me.
I raise a brow. "You think you deserve a massage after what you just did?" I force my eyes away from the sight of his shoulder muscles contracting as he makes his way towards me, even though I desperately want to watch.
"I might not deserve it," His low voice drawls. "But you'll give me one anyways."
I cross my arms and glance towards him. "And why's that?"
His broad shoulders lift up an inch as he shrugs, and his lips tip at one side. "Because I asked." He lays next to me, his top half resting back against the headboard.
"No you didn't." I point out in a matter of fact manner.
"Well..." His voice is low as he grabs my wrist and I let him pull me towards him, until I'm nearly straddling him. And when that threatens to make my stomach dip, he takes my hands and begins to place some lotion in the palms of them. "I'm asking, now."
I stare at him, trying to keep my face set in a stoic one yet even I can't help the way my hands naturally move back to his chest as the man bites back a smile.
I didn't know what I was getting myself sucked into by doing this, perhaps it was more heartache or drama. But my hands were already working at his upper shoulders and the man had already thrown his head back, and shit his eyes.
I couldn't stop now.
Which is why I move onto the back of his neck, trying to remain indifferent to the barely there sighs slipping from his lips.
Lips that were moving against mine last night.
Lips that were so soft yet firm. Possessive yet warm. Demanding yet-
No.
I stop myself when I realize that my body had started to naturally inch towards his more than necessary.
Not only was I on my knees, sitting up off his lap, but my front was practically glued to his and my fingers were tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck.
And just when I'm about to pull away, his hands come to rest on either sides of my waist, like he's holding me steady, in place.
And that's when I look to his face and realize just what my subconscious was getting at. His parted lips are an inch from mine, his eyes shut and his breath fanning across my lips.
I stare down at his lips, an array of emotions processing through my mind.
"Cazzo. I needed this." A low grunt follows his breathy sighs.
I debate on moving back, our position with his hands on my waist more intimate than before, but a part of me, a very small part of me wants to believe that this time it'll be different.
This time he's seeing me as more.
This time he won't pull away.
The thought has me tightening my hold on his hair and running my nails across his scalp.
The actions causes a low groan to leave his lips. "This feels amazing, baby." He breaths and I smile, continuing my actions. Allowing myself to bask in the proximity and touch he brought me.
"Why are you so quiet?" He murmurs his eyes still shut.
My heart and brain are at war.
"Nothing." I brush off softly, yet the way my breath fans across his lips is unmistakeable.
"Is that so?" His breathing picks up, and his broad chest heaves. He must feel our proximity.
I don't respond. Instead, my arms wind up around his neck as I move my fingers deeper into his hair, moving with the intent to control my heart from beating wildly at his suggestive tone. Yet my back slightly arches as I push closer to him, and his hands slide to the small of my back, his palm creating a pressure at the bottom of my spin.
"I find that hard to believe." He murmurs. "You're too problematic to be naturally quiet."
I snap out of my thoughts and tug on the strands of hair beneath my hands. "You're mean." I snap.
"And you're rough." He breathes out a mix between a grunt and a laugh.
I bet you'd know all about that...
"What?!" He blurts, lifting his head abruptly. His eyes snap open and I only have a spilt second to see the bewilderment on his face before his head is crashing into mine.
I flinch and hiss at the impact of his head hitting mine, and due to our proximity it wasn't a small bump. The sting hurts but I have bigger things to worry about because I had said that out loud.
But I recover quickly.
"Ow!" I hiss, retracting my head from near his as my hand comes out to hold the throbbing skin. I decide to play it off and make him think he was hearing things because I refuse to let it embarrass me. So I pretend it didn't happen. "What was that for?" I ask looking up at him meeting his bewildered gaze with one of my own.
"What did you just say?" He suddenly demands.
"Aside from the fact that you're mean?" He searches my face but all I show him is a look of confusion as I hold my head. "Nothing."
He stares at me a moment before shaking the thought away with a light shake of his head. "Nothing." He brings his hands up to tilt my head and examine the throbbing skin. "I thought I heard something."
I can sense the hesitancy on his face.
"So you decided to head butt me?" I ask my voice raising an octave.
"Of course not. I didn't realize your face was so close to mine." He instantly defends before he stops and stares at me, an accusing glint in his eyes. "Why was your face so close to mine?" And then a red hue creeps up his face as though he's angry. "Were you trying to kiss me?"
I frown at him. "No."
But the way he'd do effortlessly blew up at me has me questioning if his reaction is how he truly felt about me.
Did he think I was to blame for everything? That it was all one sided?
Anger bubbles in my chest. I should have known better than letting my guard down so easily.
Last I checked, he kissed me.
"I wasn't trying to kiss you." I grit, "But it was also hard for me to move when you're big ass hands we're holding me in place." I feel his hands move from holding my head.
"I wasn't holding you." He grows even more defensive. "Was this your intention all along-"
Did he seriously think so low of me? That I was that desperate? Like I was some dog just waiting to jump him any chance I got?
I should be angry and upset but all I feel is guilt and sadness. I was partly to blame for his reaction. My brows crease and my shoulders sag.
I was only trying to make him feel better because no one else did. I was trying to be genuine and he's making me feel like shit. "I was only trying to make you feel better because you're always taking care of things. I promise I was only doing something genuine."
I feel so pathetic having to say it aloud.
It's quiet and when I look up to see apprehension on his face, I know this was a mistake. But before I can say anything, he sighs and shakes his head.
His hands find my head and he tilts my head. "I'm sorry about this." He focuses his attention on the red bulb forming on the side of my head. "Does it hurt that bad?"
Despite his genuine tone, I don't feel like being here anymore.
I move my head out of his grasp and mumble out a response. "It's fine." I don't hide my sudden drop in mood as I get off him and make a move to leave, feeling even worse than before.
Alejandro sighs, "Principessa," He calls softly grabbing my hand and turning me towards him. "I was only curious. You can't blame me for thinking those things."
My face falls at his ability to make this whole thing worse. It's like he realizes this when he shakes his head, "Cazzo, that came out wrong."
But his face tells me he meant it, he just didn't mean for it to come out so rudely. I got the message loud and clear.
He thought of me as some obsessed, crazed little girl.
But that's not how this was, I've seen the desire in his eyes and the way he looks at me, holds me, touches me.
It was not one sided.
He needed to realise that and it was about time he came to terms with the fact that he was attracted to me.
I plaster on a fake smile meanwhile all I want to do is tear his head off. "No, you're right." I say as his brows furrow, "I was trying to kiss you because that's how it's always been, right?" I say my smile turning into a taunting one.
We both know he kissed me yesterday.
His face hardens and I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it and so I just simply send him another smile as I shake my head.
"But don't worry, I can assure you that I won't be the one coming onto you anymore." I throw over my shoulder as I walk out of the room.
I was going to show him, show him that this was all in his head.
And I had to do it by getting in his head.
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