Monsters

Dragana POV

My aunt and her husband excused themselves to go meet with their children. It was just yesterday that they all arrived, and I was excited about meeting my relatives. I understood most favored a witch gene, although a couple of them were hybrids, so we had a lot to discuss. Fluttering emotions were overcoming me every time I thought of them. Having a family also made me feel stronger, and an anchor if you will, albeit a little insecure. For somebody who did not even know I had a family, I now swam in family relationships, magic, lovers and everything in between. My whole world had been tossed upside down and I was still adjusting to it.

My great-grandfather, the sage of old times, looked at me with tenderness. “My sweet child…. A new day, a new dawn is coming into your life… The question you need to ask yourself, is are you going to allow it to control you… Or will you step up and control it?”, he asked, as we made way toward the packhouse. My stomach was grumbling, and I only now realized how tired and hungry I was. His words rang true, and I knew, I knew that the change was inevitable, that much I could attest to. Even I was different after all this and I knew I could go passively through it all, or I could choose an active role, I could choose to live, no matter how complicated my life seemed at the moment. I nodded gratefully, but my heart was heavy, and I had many questions for him. “Cybela???”, was my first thought. “She is still recovering… She really took the brunt of the attack”, he clarified. “She is strong. ….One of the very first guardians… She will survive Dragana… Whatever happened, she is tough…….she will survive”, he encouraged me.

I nodded, thankful for his words, but something else was bugging me, something I had been meaning to address with him for a while…“I meant to ask you.. I mean, I am not naïve.. we live in a world where death is a common place.. a norm in fact.... We live with beasts and cruel things, and some of us are beasts…However.. I… I learned… I… It is something I learned about you.. Something that has been bothering me, ever since you took me to the Library.." I started. His eyes locked on mine in understanding, the unspoken truth and energy shimmering between us. I felt that he knew what I wanted to ask, but unlike other times, other times where he volunteered the answers, he wanted to hear it. He wanted me to ask the question, which begged another suspicion. What did he think I knew, and why was he waiting for me to ask?

I summoned my courage and hurriedly asked… “Eunuchs… Lord Cazima… Were you one of those… One of those who…..You know.. The one who made them… I … Are you?... Were you a monster???? Are you???” I asked with the gravity of my words hitting us both. The gaze he held on me somehow stripped me bare, to my very soul. It was not intrusive, it was honest, revealing, known, and exposed. We walked slowly, but his energy was around me, that energy which simply knew, that held the balance of knowledge, truth and lies all wrapped around his hand. “Innocence Dragana… The most precious gift my child…. Something you still have…. How I wish I could give you a life of it forever”, he smiled sadly, his hands crossed behind his back, his robes around him, every step he took meaningful and with purpose. “I am not a good person Dragana… In fact, I am not even kind at times…” he continued shocking me with his words.

“But, all I have ever done Dragana, all I have always wanted, was to protect our family… That has been my driving force from the moment I opened my eyes to the silver orbs of my mother Gia”, he said, and somehow, at that moment, I could feel his heart breaking. I could feel his memories flood, centuries of struggle, pain, love, loss, betrayal, and above all, blood that binds.. Blood ties. Family.

“I have made mistakes. Many mistakes my child….. One truth I have learned is that sometimes, things we want, may not be worth the price we have to pay…” he mused, his thoughts flowing over me, engulfing me into a realization. “However, Dragana… I had also learned something else… For those whom we love, for those who are family… for those we hold and consider dear… we will pay any price, at times most gruesome and painful of all”, he stated gravely, his words sending chills down my spine. Yet, somehow, it was not what he said, it was not even the realization of him admitting that indeed he could be a monster and that at times he was. It was not even the fact that now I knew that he was cruel. No. It was none of that. It was the ever-revealing, ever-present fact, the echo in my soul that his words woke, I realized, right there and then, that no matter what, no matter the circumstances, I too, would do the same.

Clouded in my thoughts, I barely noticed the commotion in the packhouse. There were screams, and as we came closer, the sobs of a woman and her wailing were the only sound that was heard from the packhouse yard. Rushing quickly, we were both alarmed at what was happening. There was an odd silence in my mind, something that felt as if it was lasting forever. My senses were in overdrive, yet somehow my mind escaped into a silence. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong, I could feel it in my very being. As we ran into the yard, we slowly came upon the group of women, Gamma warriors and many other members of the pack standing in a circle, surrounding a woman, who was sobbing her heart out, breaking mine in the process of hearing her screams. We made our way through the crowd and froze from what we saw. Laying in the woman’s arms was the body of Gamma Aldar, his face bloodied, his guts ripped apart with obvious claw marks. In his hand, stained with blood, was a shred of fabric. A fabric I recognized immediately. A piece of my summer yellow dress, a dress in fact Solomon himself gave me.