Dreams

Roman POV

I woke up drenched in sweat. The last few nights I dreamt of my mother, my beautiful, selfless, loving mother. The dream was always the same. She sat under the tree with blooming blue flowers by the lake and beckoned me to come to her. Every time I did it, she smiled at me, kissed me on the forehead and tried to speak. And before she could say what she wanted to; I would wake up. Every single time!!!! I did not know what the dream meant; I just knew the dreams were disturbing. As much as I loved my mother and welcomed her presence in my dreams, I was also exasperated by the fact that, somehow, I could not hear what she wanted to say. I felt it was important and every night I would go to bed. I prayed for the dream to be complete. And she would never get to speak. What is she trying to tell me???



“Mother loves us, even from the great beyond. And mother would not approve of us marrying the woman who claims to be our mate but is clearly not!!”, Caleb roared. My relationship with him was becoming more and more strained, with each passing day, as we were drawing closer to the mating/wedding ceremony. I knew that I needed him to complete it. However, no amount of rationalizing with him went anywhere. “Caleb, for the hundredth time, other Alphas have chosen mates. Besides, we may be simply spellbound, and she may indeed be our mate. I need you to cooperate with me on this please!”, I said, sitting up now, in desperate need of a shower and some breakfast. “I would know if this was a real bond, spellbound or not. I would know!!!!” He was as stubborn as they come.



I had a feeling of an oncoming headache. Pinching my nose and massaging my temples, I tried to ward it off. “Princess Dzana was very powerful. Her magic likely bound you too”, I said again, repeating myself. We have been struggling to come to an understanding of this whole situation. I wanted to put the Kingdom first. Alice was doing everything right and I decided to do things right by her. I had not mated her nor marked her, for two reasons. Obviously, marking her wolf would not be possible without Caleb and he was unwilling to do anything. Secondly, I felt that she deserved the best version of me, not somebody to simply jump into her pants, but somebody who would learn to love her, and for that I needed to know her. So, I had planned picknicks, lunches, dinners, dates, and different activities simply to get to know the woman I will marry, the woman who will be my Queen, mother of my pups. We did not have much in common, truth be told, but to her credit, Alice tried hard. She tried to accommodate my every whim and understand where I was coming from too.



I was grateful and I knew I had made the right choice. She was obviously a woman of integrity, somebody who already loved me, willing to support me and please me. And while I really felt nothing for her, I felt I owed her respect and support for all that she was doing for me and the pack, and was doing my best, even if I could not give her my heart. My thoughts often went to Dragana and the morning kiss before her departure. It had been the memory I cherished, the moment I felt we were bare to each other, vulnerable and open. I kissed her without pretense or seduction, simply kissed her because I needed her, I wanted her and felt if I did not, I would die on the spot. I dared not further explore what those motions meant. She was gone. The touch of her soft lips still lingered on me, and even though I tried to kiss Alice and wanted to, those were not the same lips. But she was gone now, and from what I heard from Art, whenever I asked him, she was doing well, improving her training skills and even had a guardian dragon. She obviously had moved on, not thinking of me, not missing me, creating the life she deserved. I was happy for her, I genuinely was, and the heartache I felt, I did my best to ignore. I buried myself in work and tried to please Alice.



I gave her open reign when it came to wedding preparations, and I went as far as soliciting Lady Asma’s help as an elder she-wolf. Traditionally, that would have been the role of my mother. Could it be that my mother was trying to tell me something about my wedding???“I have already told you what mother would think. But you do not listen to me. I know other Alphas have chosen mates. But you are an Alpha King. You need your fate mate!!! I need our fated mate!!!” Caleb again chimed in unceremoniously. “Caleb please!!!”, I spat, feeling a huge headache now fully forming from all his nagging. “Have I not tried??? Have I not tried for almost 10 years to find a fated mate?? Have I not done everything possible to find her??? I know I have not been an example of chastity, but I have not tried dammit!!!! How long have we looked for the fated mate??? And what have we gotten as a result???!!!”



He knew I was right. I also knew he was right, but we needed to find a compromise, we needed to be the King for all our people, not just the King who is focused solely on himself. The struggle with him was repetitive, and I really wanted this tug of war to end. “Is she even a white wolf??? Is her wolf white. You know, like OUR MATE whom we saw???!!!” he asked back defiantly. “Our mate is the white wolf we saw in the forest, of this I am certain. And you saw her too. So, if she exists, is she Alice?? I do not think she is. But if she is not, who is the white wolf, and where is she???!!! We already know she is real, she told me so!!”, he was now whimpering, taking his last stand.



“I do not know what we saw, Caleb. Maybe my mind or my eyes were playing tricks on me. Or yours. And if she were true, and if she were real and our mate, why isn’t she here???”, I said, my pain echoing in my voice. “I cannot do this alone, Caleb. We have a choice. Either we chase the shadows and imaginary white wolf and mate bonds, or we marry the woman who loves us and wants to give us pups!!”, I said with finality. I knew this was not easy on him. “Caleb, who knows, once the spellbinding is lifted, maybe she is indeed that white wolf!!!”, I said enthusiastically again, trying to encourage him. “I need some time Roman, I need to think”, he said, sounding defeated.



“We are getting married in less than a month. And nothing will change that”, I stated, sitting up, still trying to figure out what my mother was trying to tell me.