Chapter 19

Jasper Hartford’s POV
I took Lizzy out of training early. After Frankie nearly clawed her throat out I didn’t want her anywhere near anyone else. I would lock her in my room and never let her out again if I could but that would just be hurting her to cover for my own inadequacies.
I felt so useless watching Frankie shouting at my mate and getting ready to attack her. I knew that if I went after him when he was shouting at her the anger would have caused me to partially shift. Everyone in that room would have seen that I was an omega and it would have been around the whole pack in minutes. I let that hold me back for just a few seconds and she nearly died because of it.
I should have just shifted straight away so I could protect her. Her safety was much more important than my secret. I was such a terrible mate, I hesitated just when she needed me most. I didn’t deserve her.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. My voice didn’t even sound like mine. It was quiet, almost a whisper.
We had already left the gym building and were half way home. I had one of my arms wrapped around her waist. Having her so close was keeping Garnet calm but it wasn’t making me feel any less guilty.
“Why?” She asked. She sounded so sweet and innocent as usual, she didn’t even seem to realise how badly I had failed her.
“I should have stopped him before things escalated. I shouldn’t have let him anywhere near you,” I said.
Maybe I was sounding a little overprotective but she must realise I was doing it because I love her. I should have never let Adam get into my head so much. She might have been a little uncomfortable training with me but she would have been safe and that was what really mattered.
“You can’t control everything. I don’t blame you for what he did,” She said.
“I don’t deserve you,” I told her and I pulled her closer to me. She glanced up at me through her eyelashes, flashing me a shy smile.
We arrived home a few minutes later. Lizzy was still smiling as I walked her through the hallway and into the kitchen. Although we hadn’t stayed for all of the training session I was still hungry, we needed snacks.
Mom was already in the kitchen. She was preparing lunch for all of us. She usually had everything ready and on the table for us when we got home from training. She had done that ever since I was really young so that the omegas could have the morning off to learn how to defend themselves.
“You two are back early, I hope you didn’t skip training to spend time together,” She said.
“No, I. errm.” Lizzy stuttered.
She wasn’t smiling anymore and her cheeks were turning pink as she struggled to get her words out. It was just about the most adorable thing I had ever seen.
“There was an issue in training so we had to leave early,” I said.
“Nothing too bad I hope,” My mom said, looking concerned.
“No but we are going to spend the rest of the day eating ice cream and watching tv shows together,” I replied.
“No you’re not,” My mom said resting her hands on her hips.
“What?” I asked.
“You are not eating junk food all day. I will get one of the omegas to bring you proper food when they get back,” She said.
“Great, get them to bring the food to my room,” I said.
I felt Lizzy’s body go tense beside me. As I walked out of the kitchen she followed me but I could feel her reluctance. She wouldn’t even look at me as we left the kitchen and walked towards my room.
When we got a couple of metres from the door to my room Lizzy stopped walking. I turned around to face her. She looked worried, even more so than when Frankie was trying to scratch her eyes out.
That alone was enough to break my heart. That bastard could have killed her but the thought of being alone with her own mate was apparently worse than that. I know I had hurt her in the past but it wasn’t till I saw the look on her face just now that I realised how much.
“What’s wrong baby?” I asked.
She tried to remove my hand from her waist. I pulled her closer to my body and kissed her on the top of her head. I wasn’t going to let her shut down now, I needed to know why I scared her so much. After a couple of attempts to remove my hand she gave up trying with a sigh of frustration.
“I don’t want to go in there,” She said, pointing towards my room.
“Why?” I asked.
“It is where you screwed those other girls,” She said.
“That isn’t true,” I replied.
“What do you mean? I saw all the other girls going into your room and I heard their moans. My room is only a few metres from yours, I heard everything,” She said.
She looked disgusted with me, she wasn’t the only one. I should have known better than to bring girls here. I never slept with any of them in my bedroom. I didn’t want them to get the wrong impression about our relationship but that didn’t stop me bringing them here and doing other stuff with them.
Knowing she heard what I did with them was truly devastating. I couldn’t help thinking about how it would make me feel if I heard her with another man. No wonder she didn’t trust my love for her.
“I didn’t have sex with any of them. Not here. I didn’t even let them in my bed,” I told her.
She didn’t believe a word of it, I could see it in her eyes. I guess I could understand why she felt that way after what she had heard but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I would keep telling her how important she was until she believed me, even if it took months or years.
“Would you be more comfortable if we went to your room instead?” I asked.
“I guess,” She replied. She still seemed nervous but at least she didn’t seem to be disguised with me any more.
“I would do anything to make you feel better,” I said.
I smiled at her but she didn’t smile back at me. There must be something else upsetting her but she didn’t seem ready to talk about it yet. I leaned forward and kissed the top of her head.
“I am not going to have sex with you,” She said.
She put her hands onto my chest and tried to push me away. She wasn’t strong enough to push me away or even move me but I took a step back from her anyway. I kept my hands on her hips and looked deep into her eyes.
“That isn’t what I was planning, I would never make you do anything you are uncomfortable with.” I replied.
“Good because you probably have more STIs than the CDC,” She said.
“That’s not true, I always used protection,” I said.
“Whatever,” She replied before walking away from me towards her room.
I’ll admit that it wasn’t the best start to our date but after that things got a lot better. The omegas brought us some sandwiches and we sat on her bed to eat them while we watched Lizzy’s favourite show.
The show was a lot better than I thought it was going to be but that wasn’t the best part. Somewhere in the middle of the second episode Lizzy started leaning against me as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. By the end of the third episode she was resting on my chest. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head.
“What are you doing? Why aren’t you watching the show?” She asked.
“I was but then I saw you and I couldn’t take my eyes off you,” I replied.
She rolled her eyes.
“Stop it, it is all lies. You only want to be with me because of the bond. You never found me attractive before, you don’t really want me. Maybe you would be better off with someone like Bev,” She said.
She turned away from me so I couldn’t see the tears in her eyes but I could hear her sobbing. I took hold of her shoulder and pulled her back towards me.
“I have always loved you Lizzy and if you weren’t my adopted sister I would have asked you to be my girlfriend years ago,” I said.
“Really?” She asked.
“Yes,” I replied.
I pressed my lips against hers. She wrapped her arm around my waist and kissed me back. I can’t claim that I saw much of the next three or four episodes of the show. Between the kisses and dinner arriving I wasn’t paying much attention.
After we finished eating she went back to resting against my chest until she fell asleep. I stayed awake, watching her for as long as I could but eventually I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.