Chapter 26

The death of Mr Higgins was the talk of the entire pack for days on end. It was something that everyone knew one way or the other.

Kurt was sinking more and more into depression with each day that passed. He became a social recluse not bothering himself to come outside or even eat.

No matter the amount of food that was given to him, Marge would still come back outside with the food still on the plate.

I couldn't even blame him, imagine seeing the one person that you look up and go to for advice suddenly die. He was the only parent he had.

There were already preparing for his burial which was to be held this Friday with almost everyone in attendance. Mrs Cecilia was the one in charge of the preparations, it was supposed to be Kurt but well... He really wasn't in the right frame of mind to do anything at the moment.

But to me it feels like he was being so hard on himself almost like he blamed himself for the demise of his father.

I wish I could tell him that it wasn't his fault that terrible things happen majority of the time and that it's normal.

Sadly, I couldn't tell him cause I felt that maybe he needed space, solace. When he is ready to speak, he would speak.

I walked past his bedroom only stopping when I heard a voice coming from the other side. I know I shouldn't be eavesdropping on him, but my curiosity got the best of me.

I pressed my ear to the bedroom door, I could only make out small conversation. It looked like he was talking to someone.

"I don't know what to do. I genuinely feel so empty right now," his voice sounded strained, almost as if he was crying.

"Please just take me, I am begging you. I can't loose two parents, I am lost in this world."

I felt my heart clench at the way he sounded, he sounded perturbed.

I really wish I could help him, I wish I could be there for him, but sadly I couldn't even say that I want to help him.

I was about to stand up, when my head hit the door and I fell down on my bum, there was this huge amount of pain that I felt in my cranium.

I sat on the floor rubbing my head, trying to ease the pain away.

The door to his room open up and his eyes were on me. His face was stained with tears, his hair was in a dishelved state and he looks like he had bags underneath his eyes.

"W-what are you doing here?" His voice sounded low, probably due to all the crying.

I stood up, still with my head throbbing. "I just... I just wanted to check on you and see if you are ok." I said it, and I really mean it.

"Well now that you see that I am ok, please do me a favor and leave this area." He was about to lock the door, when I put my foot to wedge the door.

"What's your problem?!" He yelled, which made me flinch.

But i didn't want to show him, instead I put my foot down. I was planning on leaving anymore till he would at least confide in me.

"Everybody is worried about you." I started looking at him in his reddened eyes. "Everybody wants to just know if by any chance you are doing well. Even I am worried about you. Locking and beating yourself up over something that you most definitely can't control isn't going to help."

"Well locking myself up is a means of me trying my best to grieve, now if you don't mind." He pushed me away and I wobbled on my feet and he locked his door. I manage to gain my footing and I looked at the closed door.

I let out a small sigh of defeat. He wasn't planning on budging either way.

****
I went to meet Mrs Cecilia to talk to her. She offered me tea and cake, which I took with much gratitude.

"Kurt has been shutting himself off from everybody and it's starting to worry me, I know that he needs his space, but I can't take it anymore. I am so scared that he may harm himself."

When I didn't hear her say anything, I almost thought that she didn't care about the conversation. However she finally some after a while.

"Kurt needs space, give him space. You can't force him to open up to you, or confide in you. Everybody have their own way of grieving, and Kurt's way is shutting people out."

Well she did have a point. "But what if something bad happens, then what would I do?"

"Nothing bad is going to happen, he would be fine. The only way you can help him, is by giving him space to at least clear his mind."

I let out a sigh and place my hand on my cheek. "Well, since I can't do anything to help him, can I do the best I can by assisting you with the burial preparations?"

"Well, I do need some hands, but are you sure that you can handle? You know that this burial is going to be a grandiose own."

"Yes I can." I said with determination in my voice.

"Well, if you want to help then no problem."

I told her thank you. And so everyday for the next few days before Friday I would go early in the morning to assist Mrs Cecilia and some few other people to set up the burial.

I also used as a form of distraction for myself. And it also made me feel good about doing something like this.

The burial was just around the corner, and Kurt still wasn't planning on coming outside. I began to wonder if by any chance he was even going to attend the burial.

The day came, and I wore a black dress, along with a black hat. I look in the mirror and realize that my skin contrast with the black clothing.

I walked towards the door and heave out a very much needed deep breath. Here goes nothing I guess.