Chapter 50 Jaxon

The cab ride back to my apartment was silent. Grayce seemed to be in a state of shock, and wouldn’t look at me, wouldn’t speak. I hesitated to touch her or even try and talk to her because I didn’t want to set her off. If I thought I’d felt rage regarding her abusive father, that was nothing compared to what I felt now. As the cabbie drove, I had to resist every human urge to return to that party and smash Tyler’s face. I wasn’t a violent guy; I never had been. But beating the shit out of my ex-best friend was the only thing I wanted to do.
“Do you want me to take you home instead?” I asked Grayce as the cab pulled up to my apartment building. She didn’t answer at first. She was staring out the window into the darkness. Her hair was mussed up in the shadows and falling out of the braid. She was a mess. Instead of answering me directly, she opened the cab door and stepped out, swaying a bit on the pavement. I paid the driver and followed her as she started for the front door of my complex. She still wasn’t speaking, but she seemed to know exactly what she was doing, so I didn’t stop her.
More silence settled over us as we rode the elevator to my floor. I unlocked the door and shut it behind us, switching on a dim lamp as Grayce trudged across the living-room floor and collapsed onto my couch. I went to the kitchen to fill a cup of water, then grabbed some aspirin from my cupboard and brought it to her. She was staring blankly ahead, not looking at me, but she took the water and sipped at it. I sat down next to her but still resisted the urge to reach out and hold her. I couldn’t force my affection on her. If I’d learned anything in the time I’d known Grayce, it was that you had to let her come to you.
After a few minutes of more silence, she looked over at me. Her skin was streaked with tears, makeup running, and hair in disarray. I looked back at her but didn’t speak.
“Can we go lie down?” she asked. Her voice was quiet, so quiet I almost hadn’t been able to hear her words.
“Yes,” I said, standing up to offer her my hand. Much to my surprise, she took it, and we walked to my bedroom. As I kicked off my shoes, Grayce didn’t even bother getting undressed and crawled right on top of the comforter, gripping one of my pillows to her chest as if to comfort herself. I laid down beside her, still careful not to be too overbearing.
She was quiet, her face partially covered by the darkness in my bedroom, the other side glowing by the lamp's light. I watched her expression and noticed the mascara-stained cheeks and slightly smeared lip-gloss. Seeing Grayce in such pain and embarrassment made me want to put my fist through Tyler’s face and never stop. Even as the minutes ticked by, my anger didn’t fade. I had never felt this way before; I’d never experienced such a protective instinct over another person.
“How are you?” I asked. Grayce didn’t look at me, but I saw her chest rise and fall with a silent sigh.
“Embarrassed,” she said. “Annoyed. Angry. But mostly relieved.”
“I’m sorry.” I reached over to rest one hand on her arm. After what Tyler had tried to do, I feared that my mere touch would set her off, and frighten her, but I wanted nothing more at that very moment than to hold this girl and never let go.
“Why are you sorry?” Grayce asked. She reached up and wiped a tear from one eye. “It’s not your fault.”
“I shouldn’t have let him near you,” I said, and I could feel myself getting worked up over it all over again. I wanted to kill him.
“You didn’t let him anywhere. I went with him,” Grayce said. “I chose to go to his party when I knew it was a bad idea.”
“Why?”
“Because I was angry.” She let her words hang in the air for a moment, and I pondered this.
“Were you trying to get back at me?” I asked. She shrugged, but I knew I’d hit the nail on the head.
“Maybe,” she said. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” Her voice cracked, and I squeezed her hand in reassurance. I was secretly thrilled when she didn’t pull away. I wanted desperately to pull her into me and hold her tight, but she was fragile, and I wasn’t about to break the thin web holding her near me. I would be there for her, protect her with my life if it came down to it, but I wasn’t about to push her away.