Chapter 52 Jaxon

It wasn’t a pleasant feeling to wake up the next morning alone. Even before rolling out of bed to see if she was anywhere in the house, I knew it wasn’t any use. When I opened my eyes, I looked down at once for Grayce, but she was gone.
As I went to the kitchen for something to eat, I called her up, hoping it was something small, like she’d just wanted to shower at her place. She didn’t answer. Not a good sign. That familiar ball of dread formed in the pit of my stomach formed and ached. After last night, I’d assumed everything between us had finally gone right . . . I thought that was it; no more hurt, no more drama, just the two of us for as long as it took. Apparently, that was no longer the case, and I found myself wondering what in the hell to do next.
I felt like Grayce and I were running in circles, dizzying ourselves with pain, fear, and uncertainty. She was still so insecure, unwilling to let go, open up, and let me in. I was running out of ideas, however, and it was a scary thought to face that maybe, just maybe, she would never accept us, and there was nothing in the world I could do about it.
I gathered my cell phone and a jacket to head to class, hoping I could come up with some idea to keep trying for her. When I opened my front door to leave, someone was standing there, fist raised and ready to knock. It was Alex. I took a surprised step back, suddenly trying to figure out what I’d done wrong to get her here.
“Hey,” she said. I assumed it was a good sign when she didn’t tackle me with rage, so I nodded at her and took a step back, a silent gesture to beckon her in. Alex stepped into my apartment, looking slightly awkward as she looked around, unable to hold my gaze for too long.
“So, what’s up?” I asked because Alex didn’t immediately start rambling. She looked at me and cleared her throat.
“Grayce told me what happened last night,” she said. “At Tyler’s party. About you showing up.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Alex looked at the ground and then back up at me. Her hands were stuffed in her jacket pockets, and for the first time since I’d met her, she seemed less confident than usual. Her calm demeanor was shaken. Doubt was etched in her features, her trust in my loyalty and friendship to Grayce hovering between acceptance and suspicion. Her expression said everything, including the gnawing desire to keep hating me but knowing she was running out of reasons to.
“I know we’re not friends,” Alex said.
“And here I thought we were besties.” I chuckled mirthlessly, and she scoffed.
“Just listen to me, Jaxon,” she said. “Grayce . . . well, she seems to be pretty smitten with you.”
“Does she?” I asked, and suddenly I felt a bit annoyed. “Because she keeps bailing on me for no reason whatsoever, and I’m running out of ways to convince her that I’m not her dad.”
“Yeah, I know,” Alex said. She shrugged slightly. “She’s scared.”
“I know she is. But there’s no reason to be.”
“Jaxon . . .” Alex trailed off momentarily and then looked back up to meet my eyes. The deep-rooted hatred for me was temporarily gone, and in its place, I finally saw the compassion and love she had for her friend, her sister. Her ego had been set aside for a moment, and now I saw the girl who had been through so much as a child, an orphan, and her goal in life now was to protect the only people she had left, the family she’d ever known. That was Grayce.
“You don’t need to explain anything,” I told Alex. Truthfully, I didn’t want her to start crying because I knew damn well I wasn’t as manly sometimes as I pretended to be.
“I know this has been hard,” Alex continued. “But following through is the best thing you can do for her. I know Grayce. I know how she is. She’s testing you because she’s certain you’ll hurt her or leave. And while both you and I know that you won’t, she doesn’t.”
“What should I do?” I asked. “I can’t seem to make her happy, Alex.”
“You do make her happy,” Alex said. “Every damn day. She’s the only one who doesn’t see that.” She took a deep breath, sighing. “She needs you to love her. That’s all. Love her and never stop loving her.”