Doubt

The room clears and I’m left in my seat, a state of shock over me. Four days, that’s all we have to be ready to go against them.

*” Sekreta. What are you still doing here? everyone left ages ago”*

I look up so Ildi smiles at me.

“Sorry I guess I just got a little bit carried away with what they were saying and zoned out”

*” I was looking for you, I wanted to see if you had eaten ?”*

“I could eat”


I stand up and follow him out of the room, the silence as we walk allowing my mind to wander back to the room, I know I agreed to fight with Salvi but this just all seems so sudden.

“Ildi?”


*” Yes Sekreta”*

“What did they do to you ?”

*” What did who do ?”*

“The sisters, what did they do to you and your brother to make you want to fight them”

Ildi looks around us, nervousness on his face.

*” They just don’t deserve what they have. Now come on let’s get food”*

I get the feeling from his response that’s not the whole truth, but I don’t want to push him when there are so many people here.

“Ildi, can we eat in the garden ?”

*” Sure, that’s a great idea”*

I follow him into the kitchen as he loads up a tray of food, the last few days it seems as though more and more wolves have joined us here at the house. There is now a woman in the kitchen ordering some younger wolves about, having them chop and stir things.

She gives Ildi and me a short smile as she hands me two large slices of cake and then carries on with her work. Once he’s satisfied with his huge pile, we head back out and towards the garden.

Sitting on the ground we eat and make a few jokes but my mind still resorts back to Artemis, When I said I wanted to know why. I was being honest, if she was so evil she wore her mask well.

When I was with her, when I stabbed her something about it just felt off and it replays over and over. Even when she was tied to that bed she was nothing but polite. She never attacked me or even tried to fight back. She always wanted to know if I was okay.

That does not seem like the ways someone who has evil at their core would act.

*” Sekreta are you sure you are okay you zoned out for a second ?”*

“Huh. yeah, I’m fine. Just lost in thought I guess “


*” Do you want to talk about it ?”*

I don’t really know if there is anything to talk about but I do want to know why he lied earlier.

“Why did you lie earlier ?”

He seems taken aback by my question and stares at me blankly for a few moments.

*” I didn’t lie. “*

I scoff and roll my eyes at him.

“I saw it in your face Ildi. There is more to this than what you said. The sisters… what did they do to you”

He hesitates once more and looks around the garden, although I’m not sure why it is just the two of us here.

*” Nothing”*

“What do you mean nothing”

*” I mean they have done nothing to us. Ivar does not care for the girls.”*

“What do you mean? If that’s the case then why is he fighting them?”


“*Because Salvi wants him too”*

I stare at him confused for a second, why would he do something he doesn’t really want to, what is he to gain?.

*” Since Ivar met Salvi, he has been different from Sekreta. It’s like he will do anything she says no matter the cost’”*

“But he was the one that said we attack in three days”


*” Ivar loves war Sekreta but he has never attacked without cause before. Those girls and their pack have never done anything to us and yet he is willing to fight against them for your sister “*

“You don’t sound happy about that”


I look down at the ground knowing I am part of the reason for his unhappiness, is she had not have found me then perhaps this could have been avoided.

*” It’s not that... It’s just when I have asked Ivar myself he just says they don’t deserve the power but before that, all he wanted to do was meet them, he never spoke of attacking them until Salvi became obsessed “*

“Meet them?”

*” Yes he wanted to meet them, he was friends with Alpha Eric before he died and when he heard they had joined with Alpha Calder he wanted them for an ally“*

“So what changed ?”

*” Well it's like I said. Salvi changed, it’s like she became obsessed with ending them”*

So Before Salvi decided to kill them Ivar wanted to meet with them. To join them?
None of this is making any sense to me, things just don’t seem to add upright.

“And what about you? What do you think about all of this ?”

*” I don’t understand why we are doing all this. It seems more logical that we would go and talk to them first”*

“Salvi said she tried that, she said she went to them when she was looking for me”

*” She and Ivar did. But they went to them in a period of high stress and asked for help, any pack would have said no. It just so happened they asked Calder the cold”*

“Calder the cold?”

*” He is the Alpha of the Silver Moon pack. He is feared by most other packs, he is ruthless and uncaring or at least he was. I hear now he has his mate he is different. He is with one of the sisters, the youngest I think”*

“Salvi said she met one of them that day but she never said that she was his Luna”

Ildi shrugs his shoulders and shoves another cake into his mouth.

“Ildi, why do you think your brother is doing this then?”
*” I think there are a few reasons. It will make his mate happy is the first one, I think he felt disrespected by Calder when they went and I also think Ivar wants that power”*

I feel the blood drain from my face.

“What power ?”

I’m holding my breath and fiddling with my hands.

*” The power to say he took down the baddest Alpha of them all “*

I release my breath as I relax, thanking the moon goddess that Ivar didn’t want the powers we hold. No one should have them, they do more harm than good.

“I see, I suppose that would be good for your pack wouldn’t it. Would make you seem quite scary”


*” You mean our pack?. You might not be officially in yet but you are just as much a part of this as anybody Sekreta. We are family now”*

“Can I be heist with you Ildi ?”

*” Of course you can”*

I don’t know whether I should say this out loud but I need to get it off my chest.

“This”


I move around the garden and to the house.

“Has all been so overwhelming. I can’t help but feel like I’m missing half of the story “

He doesn’t say anything but I can tell he is really listening to me.

“Everything that happened with Arlo and my mum, running away, meeting Salvi, Meeting Artemis even. It just doesn’t all add up”

*” Maybe you just need to spend some time with Salvi, or in your family library ?”*

“If I’m being honest to myself Ildi, I’m not even sure I remember Salvi or at least remember her being my sister. I’m not sure if its because I’ve pushed that time out of my mind or what”

*” Salvi is so concerned for your wellbeing Sekreta, perhaps you just need something to jog your memory”*

“I guess. Maybe you're right”

I want to talk to him more about everything, but right now I don’t know if he will tell anyone else. If I learned anything with Arlo it was to trust no one.

As I sit here now I am shocked at how easily I have trusted others, Salvi led and I blindly followed without really asking any questions.

I fear it too late to ask her now she will think I have changed my mind, but I need answers to all my questions.

*” You still have your thinking face on. What’s up?”*

“I’m just thinking ..”

MoonGoddess came up with something quickly to change the conversation.

“I was just thinking about your mate. I hope to meet her when all this is over “

*” You will get to. She is going to love you Sekreta, she will finally have someone to do all the girly things she makes me do with her. And I can get a break from it”*

“It’s sweet you do that for her anyway “

*” She is everything to me, If it makes her happy then I will do it “*

“I wonder if that is what it is like for Ivar”

*” Maybe. But Ivar doesn’t have the luxury he is an Alpha, the choices he makes must also benefit the pack”*

“I see “

I pick up a weird looking pink fruit of the tray on the floor staring at it wanting the conversation about Ivar to end, it looks like some drew it.

*” Its a dragon fruit”*

“A what ?”

*” A dragon fruit look”*


He extends his hands for me to give it to him, I pass it over and he slices it in half revealing white flesh with little black seeds.

Cutting a piece of it he hands it to me.

*” Try it, I think you’ll like it “*

I hold it up and smell it. It’s sweet so I take the plunge and chuck it in my mouth to chew.

“Hey. it’s good “

*” You know sometimes when I’m with you it’s like watching a pup for the first time “*

He laughs holding his belly, but I’m annoyed by it so I stand up.

“I have to go “


*” Wait for Sekreta, I didn’t mean to upset you”*


Truth be told that was just the final straw with today, I already feel so lost and confused and to have someone point it out to me further is just another stab.

“I just think I need to be alone for a while like I said it's all a bit overwhelming”

*” At least stay and finish the lunch ?”*


“I’m full, thank you for coming to find me earlier, I’m going to go back to my room”

He nods seemingly sad and sits back down. I didn’t mean to upset him but I really did just want to be on my own.

I wander back through the halls with the intention of going back to my room, when I see Salvi, I call for her but she doesn’t hear me.

Seeing her has made me realise that maybe I should just talk to her about everything I’m feeling, the reason I’m holding it all in is that I’ve never had that before but now is different, I have her and talking might actually help.

Deciding Ildi was right and I should just spend some time with her, I walked a little faster to catch up, just as she entered the room. I'm about to open it when I hear another voice.

**” is it done, will she join us ??”**

*” Yes she has agreed, it didn’t take much. She is so confused with what’s going on I think she will say yes to anything”*


**” Good that’s what we want, we want her to be receptive. We need her to trust us, at least until we know the true extent of her abilities”**

The voice of the other person is somehow familiar like I’ve heard it before

*” She will, I know she will, I’ll just keep up the loving sister act. “*

My hand grasps over my mouth to stop and notice and I back away silently tears streaming down my face.

Savea was right, we shouldn’t have trusted her, we shouldn’t have trusted anyone. The only thing I want to do right now is run.
It’s like my fight or flight response has taken over, normally I would leave as soon as I was able. Once I’m back in my room I begin pacing.

What am I going to do? whoever that guy was he doesn’t sound like he has plans for my life to stay calm and rosy.

And Salvi, she lied to me. My sister has lied to me. Why?.



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*A/N
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