Binding

He freezes as I've just said the worst thing in the world and part of me wants to run, to get out of this water and head as far away from him as possible. The other part of me wants to stay in yearning to know. Almost desperate to help him even if it just means to listen.

I pull myself away from him for just a second, skin no longer touching and the icy-ness of the water returns, making me shiver.

*” You are cold”*

“Yes.. well “

I look down at myself motioning to my nakedness.

“It’s of no matter, just tell me what she did to you?”

His shoulders tense as the hollows of his cheeks suck in as he clenches his jaw tightly. I’m internally cursing, I shouldn’t have pressed, shouldn’t have asked at all.

“You know what never mind it doesn’t matter”

I start backing away in the water, thankful for its dark colour as my arms are still very much covering my top half.

I don’t wait for him to respond instead turn away from him and head to the edge, I try to move quickly he could change back to who he was before at any moment and getting out of this water and away from him will be even more difficult than it already is.

I don’t feel the water move behind me so he has either gone or is waiting for me to get out. Climbing out carefully making sure he cannot see all of me exposed areas I walk towards the closest tree hiding behind it.

I have every intention of shifting back into my world but first, I need a second to just take all that in. Leaning my head back I close my eyes and am met with his golden ones, they were like liquid I could have gotten lost in them.

It is only seconds before I’m pulled out of my thoughts by a cough. Opening my eyes I see a hand holding a small pile of clothes from the other side of the tree.

*” We have spare clothes lying about out here for just this reason”*

I take the clothes unfolding them stepping into an oversized T-shirt and a pair of leggings, once I’m dressed I don’t move to keep my back firmly pressed against the tree.

“Thank you”

Ivar doesn’t bother to come round my side but I can still hear his breathing.

*” I met you, sister when I found her in the forest a little way from my packhouse”*

He pauses waiting for a response but I don’t say anything, instead, I slide down the tree into a seated position.

*” She was pretty beaten up, skinny malnourished. My father and I took her back to to the packhouse but when she recovered there was something off about her”*

“You mean even though she is your mate you weren’t attracted to her at first”

*” Us being mates or whatever it is we are was just as much of a shock to me, I took over the pack and still I felt nothing until one day I went to help her with something. I don’t even really remember what it was but I just know that when I saw her things were different”*

Something draws me to him and I find myself moving to around the other side of the tree to sit closer to him.

“What do you mean different”


He drops his head and stares at his hands, it’s a new side to him. Vulnerable and open there’s that pull between us again, the need to comfort him in some way pulling me from the inside.

*” I mean after that moment it was like I only had eyes for her, it was that way for a long time. Well forever actually until I eventually met you. Once you showed up it was as if there were breaks in my vision”*

“ But I didn’t do anything to you”

*” Your right. You didn’t but being around you bought a new light. I would find myself staring at you the aura around you seemed to cause holes in my vision. I would find myself once again attracted to Salvi, or I would hear what my wolves were saying, what Ildi was saying to me about the pack”*

I once again remain quiet. It doesn't seem appropriate to speak right now.

*” He would tell me we were losing money and people were unhappy but as soon as I confronted her about it, it would just melt away. She would comfort me and tell me everything was under control and not to worry about the pack we would run it together and be strong. And then I … well I felt that pull to her again and the feeling of her being my mate became all-consuming”*

“You wouldn’t feel that connection to her until you were face to face with her once again?. That’s odd isn't it ?”

*” Odd how ?”*

“Well, oddly, you would think you're seeing clearly with her then have that break until you were with her once again, then all of a sudden you would think everything was fine. It’s like a warped reality how would you know what's the real reality?”

*” Well I didn’t and truthfully I’m still not sure. All I know is that the longer you were around the longer the breaks of clarity. I started to realise something was wrong and when the rush of Salvi would take over my wolf started to fight it”*

“Your eyes”

I mutter the words under my breath but just loud enough that Ivar hears me.

*” My eyes ?”*

“Yes. When you would talk to me your eyes would flash from black to another colour and then back again “

I shiver at the thought, the feeling of him staring me down as I try to contain myself remembering the fear every time he comes near me.

He takes a deep breath in, seemingly trying to focus on what he is going to say next. He looks down at his hands once more.

I wonder what he is thinking. How must it feel not be in control of your own mind, worst still how must it feel to know that for the longest time you weren’t in control when you thought you had things under control.

*” I don’t know what she’s doing to me Sekreta. This is the longest that I have ever been apart from her, I can normally feel her but as soon as we got into the water it dissipated”*

I’m instantly intrigued by his words, he can normally feel her?. At this point I’ve sussed that they are not mates but why… why would she have gone to all of this trouble to keep him captivated and under her control it makes no sense.

“When you say you can feel her, what do you mean?'' Is it the mate bond or is it something else ?”

*” I thought so at first but I mean who am I to question my mate? I thought it was the moon-goddess choice, she had paired me with Salvi for a reason so I didn’t question it. I always thought it would feel like and close but it felt heavy, every single time she was near.”*

“I see”

A million things are going through my mind right now, none of this makes any sense. Wanting to be close to him to hear his story but equally wanting to run from him. I need answers to my problems and yet I’m drawn to his.

Deciding at that moment I stand from the side of him and take a step back.

“I should go “

He rushes to his feet and takes a step towards me and I instantly step back away from him not wanting him to touch me. Everything Selene has said to me seems to be true. I think he might be my mate but I can’t think about that now and I know if he touches me I will feel those sparks.

The ones that will bind me to him, the ones that will draw me into him and I won’t be able to leave him to hear alone. Not waiting for him to speak I turn and walk away from him not knowing where I’m supposed to go or even where I am but I just need to get out of here.

*” Wait”*

He grips my arm and pulls me to him as I crash into his chest and his lips meet my own. It's passionate and strong and I am practically melting under him as the sparks flow through the both of us.

It’s hot and it’s heavy and I don’t want to pull away from him, it's addictive in every sense of the word and Savea is living for it. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck relaxing into it, getting comfortable in his arms.

We stay like this for what feels like a lifetime until something snaps inside me and I push him away before turning and running.

A growl erupts from behind me and I can tell that it’s not the Ivar I was just with, it's the other him, the one that wants to rip me apart and feed me to my sister in pieces.

As I run I try to reach out to Selene, I don’t know if it’s possible but I call for her over and over, I just need to know where they are so I can get to them.

The pounding of footsteps behind me doesn’t seem to be getting any closer but the pain in the growl affects me in a new way.

What caused him to change back, is Salvi close? She must have noticed he has been gone and maybe the closer she is to him the more control she has or was it me? Was it because I pushed him away and the anger of everything pulled out the darkest part of him, the part she controls?.

“SELENE CAN YOU HEAR ME “

The link between us is still silent but I won’t stop running. A short while later the footsteps behind me subside. Ivar is no longer following me and my chest is tight from breathing so hard.

I stop for just a second leaning against a tree.

“Selene can you hear me I need help”

There is silence once more. Breathing in deeply, the cold fresh air burns in my lungs. The events of the last couple of hours replaying in my mind.
Ivar saw me naked.
He confided in me.
He told me about Salvi and how he feels about her.
I’m bound to him, always.

I didn’t want to believe it, hell I couldn’t think of a worse situation to be in but here we are.

My sisters pretend mate is my real mate and she’s using him to track me down and probably kill me. If my life wasn’t fucked up enough before it certainly is now.