Broken Soul

As soon as I reach the back of the house I stop breathing deeply trying to suppress the humiliation I feel. He was never my mate. I cried over someone helplessly in bed, I shed tears for someone who wasn’t even mine.

I sit with my bag against the cold brick wall, the grass slightly wet but it doesn’t matter. I feel so stupid, something deep in me knew it wasn’t right with Kalf. The way Ildi has explained it was nothing like what I felt but I thought it was different because he rejected me.

Everything right now is a mess my sister is trying to kill me, my mate wasn’t my mate at all and the place in which I’ve sought solace has a luna and Alpha that don’t trust me in the slightest.

Thinking back to my conversation with my mother she told me that the forest was my escape, maybe I could escape from all of this now. Leaving here and going there must be plausible; it's the emancipation of my imagination.

I must have created it from memory so it must exist. Trying my hardest to focus I concentrate on the forest, on going back there and seeing my mum. Maybe she will have the answers for me, maybe she will be able to tell me what I’m supposed to do, she visited me and I awoke with more answers.

*” You know if you keep closing your eyes so tightly they might get stuck”*

Kalf’s voice pulls me from my concentration, I don’t lift my head up, I don’t want to face him right now.
I can feel the heat from his arm as he sits down next to me.

*” I’m sorry about all of this”*

“Why are you sorry you didn’t ask for this as much as I did “

*” I know but I’m still sorry, I’m sorry I rejected you that day. No matter if it was real or not at the time it was and I hurt you”*

That’s right he did reject me even before he knew we weren’t mates.

“Why did you?”

*” Why did I do that?”*

“Why did you reject me? It’s like you said at the time it was real, your rejection was real?”*

I lift my head this time, I want to see his face when he answers me.

*” It was simple, I thought you were like her. I didn’t want that for a mate, I had seen what she had done to the pack and I thought you would be just the same”*

“So you just rejected me right away?”

*” Come on Sekreta it was not like we had met each other and had a chance to speak, you caught me helping your prisoner escape, what else was I supposed to do”*

He has a point; it wasn’t exactly the fairy tale romance like in the movies Ildi showed me.

“Is she nice?”

I look at me confused by the change of subject, one eyebrow raised.

“I mean your mate? Is she nice ?”

A bright smile spreads across his face.

*” She is wonderful”*

We spend a little bit of time talking about her. I'm glad he is happy. I can’t lie that it hurts but every time he speaks her name its pure joy glistening in his eyes.

“Kalf. I’m sorry for running away earlier, You seem really happy now I’m glad you have that.”

He puts his hand out for me to shake, I do so willingly.

*” I hope we can be friends Sekreta”*

“I'd like that”

With that, he stood up brushing the grass and dirt off his trousers.

*” Are you coming in ?”*

“I think I’ll wait a little longer, clear my head a little”

He nods and strides towards the door. Being friends with the one I thought was destined to be with might not be so bad.

I sat a little longer just letting everything sink in. It has been a lot to deal with, not only taking in all the information but also sharing how I feel. I’m so used to keeping it to myself.

Pulling the small book out of my pocket I scan it over once more. Opening the pages the short passages are written in cursive, the handwriting as old as the book.

I stop on a page of a sentence drawing me in.

*I have been to the library I found the book of lights I had hoped it would give me answers to Marels condition with every passing day he grows angrier as he watched his sisters use their powers I can see it in his eyes and feel it, he has become so good at hiding it am I am sure when he snaps the household will not see it coming*

I instantly flashback to the words my mother spoke to me.

Marel.

It’s ringing in my head, he was my mother's brother and he was powerless, if the passages in this book describe him as a son then that means this was my grandmother.

Springing up off the floor I run inside the house calling Artemis’s name out loud hoping she is somewhere close, I need to tell her I need to explain what I have found.

I reach the room from before to find it almost empty, Selene is still sitting on the sofa staring out into nothing. She turns her head to meet my gaze.

“Sorry... I didn’t mean to disturb you”

*” It’s fine, why don’t you take a seat?”*

She motions to the sofa in front, but I’m in a state of shock. There is a kindness to her voice that I’ve not heard before.

*” I meant now not in twenty minutes “*

She laughs as I sit, I can feel my body tense unsure of what’s about to happen.

*” You can calm down, you know. I’m not going to be horrible to you”*

I try to sit back in an attempt to look more relaxed. I can tell she has noticed how uncomfortable I am but she doesn’t say anything.

*” Why were you calling for my sister, are you okay?”*

“Yes, I’m fine I just …”

*” It’s fine you don’t have to tell me but she went off with Ryan. I doubt you’ll see her for a little while. Is there anything I can help you with at all ?”*

I hesitate but decide to tell her, if I ever want to trust her then this would be a good start. Pulling the book from my pocket once more I begin.

“Well I have this book and I was reading it. I’ve only read a few pages before but the one I read today clicked everything into place”

*” What do you mean clicked everything into place”*

“Well, I spend quite a bit of time looking for answers about my family, about these gifts in the library at that house. But when I read this tonight I realised just whose book this was “

She leans forwards seeming intrigued.

*” Why were you searching for information about your family?”*

“Well... Things just didn’t feel right with Salvi and I started to wonder about the gifts and the library seemed like a good place to go”

*” But why the library in that house”*

“Well it was the house of our family, or at least that is what Salvi told me”

Muttering to herself she seems to be having a conversation with her wolf, I don’t interrupt but sit and wait.

*” What did you find in your book Sekreta ?”*

“Well, that’s just it. It isn’t my book this belonged to our grandmother”

Her eyes widen for a second and then return to normal.

*” Where did you get it ?... the book I mean ?”*

This part is a little awkward. After all, I technically stole this book from this very house.

“I stole it … from this house before I ran for it “ I stare down at the floor hoping she won’t prod me any further.

She smiles softly and relaxes back into her chair.

*” I knew it”*

“You knew what?”

*” I know where you got this... In fact, I was there the day you took it”*

“How could you have been, I was alone that day”

*” You thought you were alone when you snuck into the library I was there. Funnily enough, I was looking for answers too”*

I stared at her blankly, how could she possibly have been there? I was sure I was alone that day. I went in, took the book and left.

“I only took it because it called to me, I heard it and I knew I had to get it. It didn’t matter where it was I felt like it belonged to me so I took it and then ran”

She eyes me curiously, I’m a little relieved at how well this conversation is actually going. It is as though she isn’t seeing me as a threat any longer.

*” So what is it exactly that you wanted to tell Artemis?”*

“Well as I said this book was our Grandmothers, In it, she has spoken about her son Marel”

*” That must have been the boy from the painting on the wall!”*

She mutters to herself again only this time it’s loud enough for me to hear.

“Sorry what painting ?”

*” When we came to get Artemis we found ourselves in a corridor and there was a painting of three children. I recognised one as my mother but the other two I had no idea. The boy must have been Marel and the other girl your mother”*

“It must have been”

We talk on this for a few moments more, Selene even manages to make a joke about picking Artemis up.

*” What does Marvel have to do with any of this anyway, he was powerless. What makes him so important you would need to run and find Arti right away ?”*

It’s now or never I can keep being honest and tell her about my mother or I can hide it and pray to the moon goddess she never finds out.

“That’s a bit more of a complicated story I guess”

*” I have a lot of time*”

She lifts her legs onto the sofa and stretches them out, getting comfortable. I suppose she has decided that I will be telling her all about it.

Taking a deep breath I begin. I told her everything about my mother, everything she had said about the boy and how I had put two and two together and guessed it was Frode.

She listens intently but doesn’t say a thing she seems to just be taking it all in so I carry on.

I end up telling her absolutely everything that’s happened since I found Salvi. I tell her of Ildi and Ivar, even letting her know of Ivars odd behaviour.

I even tell her of my encounter with Kalf, not moments before, explaining how he isn’t my real mate at all and the two of us feel nothing for each other.

*” Wow... You have been through a lot I’m amazed you are still functioning “*

I laugh it off smiling it does feel good to have a release to have shared with someone everything I’ve been keeping inside, I didn’t quite realise just how much it was.

“I have to admit, seeing my mother after everything that happened was a bit of a shock, I didn’t think I would ever hear her voice again”

*” I’m curious, did she say anything else at all? Did she leave you with any talks or questions? I know when I’ve had a similar experience I left with more questions than I went in with “*

She chuckles to herself as though she is remembering something. Maybe I should ask her of the prophecy, perhaps she will be willing to talk about it now we have shared so much.

“Well she did say one thing but I don’t really know what she meant by it”

That’s a little white lie but I want to be as nonchalant as possible.

*”Oh! What did she say ?”*

“Well, she said to ask them about the prophecy. I can only assume that means the three of you ?. But I think Artemis would have said something beforehand”

I watch her face as the colour drains from it, the white stripe she has in the front hair seems to glow a little bit.

*” She may not have. Particularly if she thought that prophecy had ended”*

She seems lost in thought before standing and extending her hand to my own.

*” Come on. We need to find my sisters”*

I don’t argue but take her hand and follow her out to the hallway.