Internal Conflict

It isn’t long before Selene’s breathing slows the rhythmic sound of sleep occupying the silence in the air around us.

I didn’t realise before but she looks tired, the skin under her eyes a little duller than before, I wonder if she had slept when I was knocked out. I wonder if she and Ivar had spoken about me.

There he is again Ivar, creeping into my thoughts just as I had focused on expelling him from them. Each thought brings a heaviness to my stomach, a longing like for him and I can’t work out why.

It's as though my body craves him, craves his scent, his voice and even his touch. With each inappropriate thought comes another like a bucket of ice water being chucked over me.

Salvi.

How could I forget my dear sister, how could I forget that she is his mate and then the whole reason we are both here exhausting energy and hiding away in the shadows is because of the two of them?

I still can’t work out why she would be this way, why she would hide that our father is alive? It just doesn’t make any sense to me.

Moreover, why is she hiding it from Ivars pack? I mean they are mates after all but Ildi swears that there is no one else living there.

With each passing second, my mind goes into the driver. I replay every moment of conversation with her, I go over every comment she made about the sisters and every interaction she had with Ivar.

It’s then that something in me clicks. Her interactions with him with all of them there is something about them that seemed off looking back.

Each time she addressed the pack wanting to get them to do something she would go through Ivar, never addressing them herself almost as if she knew they would fight against her, and then there is Ivar himself whenever he was away from her he would stare at me so intently, the flashes in his eyes.

The way he struggled to fight back his wolf, I thought at first it was because he was struggling to kill me but what it is something else.

What if he was fighting to break out, to talk to me. The interaction with him back at the house was just as intense but it was different it was like he was another person.

I could see it in his eyes he felt, and I mean really felt I could feel the emotions pouring from him in a way I never have before, I have only ever felt rage from him.

I know somewhere amongst all of my thoughts I’m missing something. I’m missing the connection, the thing that’s going to tie it all together.
A growl erupts from the house that resonates through to us vibrating the walls as the wave of sound hits. Selene abruptly sits from up eyes wide staring around for any sign of danger.

*” What the fuck was that “*

“I have no idea but it sounded like Salvi, maybe she just found out we are closer then she realises “

*” We should sit up and get a move on then, let’s find that bloody book and get out of here “*

I nod sheepishly and stand.

“I think Salvi will be keeping this book close to her chest if she knows what it is, but let’s start in the library”

The two of us begin to move silently throughout the back walls of the house, the sound of things smashing and wolves growling making us stop every now and then to ensure no one is close to us.

*” Well I think it’s safe to say your sister is pissed off”*

“Yeah” Smiling politely at Selene I keep moving past her.

*” You know there is something I can’t work out though Sekreta “*

“Yeah, what’s that ?”

We reach a small door if I remember correctly this is the one Ildi showed me that goes to the kitchen and from the sounds of the voices behind it, it's not the one we are going through.

We move silently past before Selene speaks again.

*” Its Ivar.”*

Something in me makes me stop walking, I turn to face her and raise an eyebrow. Why was she asking about him all of a sudden in fact why was she thinking about him.

As if she sensed my thoughts she raised her hands to me in surrender.

*” That Sekreta, that’s what I’m talking about”*

She walks past me and carries on pushing forward.

“What are you talking about ?”


*” Ivar and you. I've seen the way he looks at you, it's the same way Sigi looked at Cynthia before she accepted him as a mate, the only difference is, he seems to be in some kind of internal conflict I can see his wolf trying to push out “*

“I don’t understand what you are getting at”

*” I mean Ivar Sekreta. I think .. god this is going to sound ridiculous but I think he likes you”*

“What on earth are you talking about Salvi is his mate”

*” I get what I do and you might be right, but you cannot tell me that you feel nothing when you look at him. When he found us and took us to that place he was beside himself and there was no consoling him you cannot honestly stand and tell me that you don't feel the other side of the pull?”*

She is right, we both know it but admitting there's more to Ivar and me makes it real and I don't even yet understand exactly what it is so how can I acknowledge it?

“I don't. I don't feel anything when I look at him apart from fear”

Lies. I know it, she knows it and yet she doesn't question it again as we keep moving.

“We have to get out here and walk in one of the main corridors up the stairs”

She nods and her eyes begin to glow as I slowly push open the little door, we wait to see if we can hear any footsteps or see anyone standing there but it looks clear.

*” Where is it ?”*

“Its the door on the end, once we are in we can lock it from the inside “

*” Okay it looks clear let’s go”*

We move swiftly and silently to the door sliding inside and locking it silently behind us, as soon as the door clicks we both let out the breath we were unintentionally holding in.

We waste no time in searching the shelves for the book of lights, as much as we both want to ransack the shelf and get out of here we both carefully pull them out one at a time and place them back into place when we note it's not the right book.

With each second that passes we hear footsteps now moving outside in the corridor, Salvi’s screaming seems to have subsided and the house has returned to normal.

Then all at once panic sets in as the handle of the door begins to twist. Selene puts her fingers to her lips warning me to stay quiet, her eyes glowing emerald green as she stares at the door.

As if I am feeding on her energy, I feel a bubble at the back of my throat, the power in me desperate to rise out, I catch sight of myself in the window and my eyes are glowing bright white.

That's a new development, it's either all or nothing with this new power of mine and somehow I seem to be controlling it.

The door handle jiggles again and someone on the other side coughs loudly.

**” No no it's fine honestly, I think it just lost the key you carry on”**

I hear footsteps getting further away and then a small knock on the door.

**” Sekreta if you are in there let me in I look weird as fuck standing out here alone”**

Ildi’s voice carries through the room like a blanket of calm. Selene stays close to behind me as I head to the door to let him inside.

*” I can only catch his scent, he's alone “*

Opening it the smallest gap I see him stood there and he slowly comes inside as he clutches something close to his chest,

I lock the door behind him and turn to face him again unable to hide the smile on my face.

**” I figured you two would be here but there is no need, look “**

From under his arm, he pulls out the very thing we were looking for.

“The book of lights … but how did you get it ?”

**” It was in Salvi’s office, I guess she thought she should keep it close and now I know it's for a good reason. She doesn't have many things in there and this stuck out like a sore thumb so I figured that it’s probably what you’re after “**

He hands it across to me and I feel Selene edge closer to my back to take a look.

**” Look I know you both want to look at this some more but all that screaming wasn't for nothing Salvi knows this is missing and she is for sure looking for you, she might not know it's you but she does know it's someone from Selens pack. You need to leave and like right now “**

Selene and I look at one another then nod in agreement. Ildi is right. We can look at this when we get back. For now, we have to get out of here.

“Ildi how are we going to get out of here without being seen “

**” Just follow me I’ll get you back out of the grounds but after that, you’re on your own I can't risk it”**

We don't hesitate and begin to move following his every step, he takes us along pathways in the house that I had no idea even existed.
As we reach closer to the exit of the house and into the forest that familiar scent of pine and cedar fills my every sense and causes me to stop in my tracks.

*” Sekreta what the fuck are you doing we need to move “*

I hear her but I'm stuck in a trance. It's like I'm bound to the spot.
Selene and Ildi begin to argue behind me, the two of them calling for me to go with them as I turn on the spot and face the source of my sudden inability to function.

“Both of you go without me, Selene I will catch up I promise not to go “

Selene is beside me in a second.

*” Sekreta if I’m right and what we spoke about early is true, he isn't going to want to hurt you, you have to make him see that”*

She places a hand on my shoulder before turning away and instructing Ildi to continue showing her the way out, the book gripped tightly in her hand,

As their footsteps drift off, Ivar moves in closer like a predator who has spotted his prey, his eyes so dark they show a vast nothingness.

Taking in a deep breath I speak.

“Ivar I don't want to hurt you “

As if my words do something to him he shakes his head and stops moving toward me, for a second I see his eyes return to normal. Whatever internal fight is in is fierce and if I don’t snap him out of it then I’m for sure going to die at his hand.



*AN
Thanks so much for reading this story and sticking by it while i worked on new updates.